Child’s bully gone to far

Tjb1923 · 2025-07-10T20:02:41+00:00

Hello, looking for some advice really… my son (6) came home from school yesterday. He said he had been crying so obviously asked why? he told me that two boys in his class had been in the reading corner, one wrapped a blanket around my son and the other then took a teddy and pushed it down into my sons face so he couldn’t breathe. as he couldn’t breathe he’s panicked and cried, as anybody would do. I rang the school as soon as he told me this and they assured they’d speak to the children in the morning and find out what’s happened. they rang me back today and said both boys had admitted to doing so (they denied it at first) and that they have been sternly told off. The more I’ve thought tonight, I’m not happy with just a stern telling off. I know they are kids and can be silly, but this seems like more than silliness. if I did this as an adult I would be in a police station?! With charges being held against me! Surely there is more that can be done than a “stern” telling off. I just don’t know what else can be done? Can anyone help? thanks.

KnickerlessFlannel · 10/07/2025 21:10

The difference is that you're an adult who understands the consequences of someone else not being able to breathe. Lots of 6 years old would struggle with this.
I would expect school to be mo ironing closely and upping supervision at tricky times but there's not a huge amount more they can do.

CinnamonCinnabar · 10/07/2025 21:12

I'd make a formal complaint about the teacher failing to notice this happening- they are clearly not safely supervising the class. I'd also be thinking about moving class - I couldn't go back into a workplace where colleagues had seriously attacked me. Have the other children apologised in person to your child? I'd expect that as a minimum.

Hercisback1 · 10/07/2025 21:16

This isn't formal complaint level. There's up to 25 children and one adult. This incident could have taken seconds.

The children are just that, children. If they have repeatedly targeted your DS and incidences of bullying are escalating, it may be that more than a telling off is needed. If you aren't happy with the class teacher response, you can speak to the head.

Strictly1 · 10/07/2025 21:18

CinnamonCinnabar · 10/07/2025 21:12

I'd make a formal complaint about the teacher failing to notice this happening- they are clearly not safely supervising the class. I'd also be thinking about moving class - I couldn't go back into a workplace where colleagues had seriously attacked me. Have the other children apologised in person to your child? I'd expect that as a minimum.

A formal complaint because a teacher didn’t see something happen in a class of possibly 30 children? How is the teacher/school going to promise that they will witness every interaction between all children at all times? Do you think you’re maybe being a tad unrealistic?

TTCJJB · 10/07/2025 21:21

CinnamonCinnabar · 10/07/2025 21:12

I'd make a formal complaint about the teacher failing to notice this happening- they are clearly not safely supervising the class. I'd also be thinking about moving class - I couldn't go back into a workplace where colleagues had seriously attacked me. Have the other children apologised in person to your child? I'd expect that as a minimum.

Wow! How many sets of eyes do you think one teacher has, to be able to adequately supervise 30 (potentially more) children. Especially when a handful have then gone into a reading corner.

Purpleballoo · 10/07/2025 21:28

The boys sound like a pair of psychos. I’d be seriously concerned about kids doing things like that. Where did they get that idea from and if they’re doing that now, what will they be like later? A stern talking to isn’t enough. Parents should be called in and the incident should be logged.

I’d start looking for a nicer school.

londongirl12 · 10/07/2025 21:29

Is this a one off or have things happened before?

CaptainFuture · 10/07/2025 21:34

Purpleballoo · 10/07/2025 21:28

The boys sound like a pair of psychos. I’d be seriously concerned about kids doing things like that. Where did they get that idea from and if they’re doing that now, what will they be like later? A stern talking to isn’t enough. Parents should be called in and the incident should be logged.

I’d start looking for a nicer school.

This, you'll get all the 'aw but they're only young' 'what about them?! How awful are you?! You need to think about those poor boys and work out what they're communicating!!'

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:20

KnickerlessFlannel · 10/07/2025 21:10

The difference is that you're an adult who understands the consequences of someone else not being able to breathe. Lots of 6 years old would struggle with this.
I would expect school to be mo ironing closely and upping supervision at tricky times but there's not a huge amount more they can do.

Would they? My son knows that putting anything over someone’s face is dangerous and to never do it to anybody.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:21

CinnamonCinnabar · 10/07/2025 21:12

I'd make a formal complaint about the teacher failing to notice this happening- they are clearly not safely supervising the class. I'd also be thinking about moving class - I couldn't go back into a workplace where colleagues had seriously attacked me. Have the other children apologised in person to your child? I'd expect that as a minimum.

There isn’t another class to move him too, he’s at a small-ish school, 30 kids each class etc…

OP posts:

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:22

Hercisback1 · 10/07/2025 21:16

This isn't formal complaint level. There's up to 25 children and one adult. This incident could have taken seconds.

The children are just that, children. If they have repeatedly targeted your DS and incidences of bullying are escalating, it may be that more than a telling off is needed. If you aren't happy with the class teacher response, you can speak to the head.

So a child essentially smothering my child isn’t a complaint level? What would have happened if he did stop breathing?

OP posts:

legoplaybook · 10/07/2025 22:23

What would you like to happen?

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:24

Purpleballoo · 10/07/2025 21:28

The boys sound like a pair of psychos. I’d be seriously concerned about kids doing things like that. Where did they get that idea from and if they’re doing that now, what will they be like later? A stern talking to isn’t enough. Parents should be called in and the incident should be logged.

I’d start looking for a nicer school.

The thing is, he is at a really good school. I understand the whole “kids can be kids” but one wrapping him up and the other pushing a teddy/pillow into his face just really doesn’t sit well with me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:26

londongirl12 · 10/07/2025 21:29

Is this a one off or have things happened before?

Things have happened with one of the children before but it’s been hitting or punching. It’s not been to this extreme, which is why I’m concerned.

I spoke to his teacher regarding it after the usual, “don’t play with him, stay away from him” wasn’t working. She said she would keep an eye on them both but she left on Friday to start maternity leave.

I do know, one of the boys is very troublesome and that his parents get a daily report on him. Whether that is still happening since she’s left for maternity I’m not sure.

OP posts:

legoplaybook · 10/07/2025 22:26

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:22

So a child essentially smothering my child isn’t a complaint level? What would have happened if he did stop breathing?

Show quote history

Who would your complaint be to? The teacher or the 6 year olds?

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:27

legoplaybook · 10/07/2025 22:23

What would you like to happen?

I’m not really sure, I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I’d just like to know what other parents would do or hear from some teachers to see what would happen and if there is anything else that could happen?

OP posts:

Sandyoldelbows · 10/07/2025 22:28

It’s hard to know how serious this is without knowing the context. It could be a pair of boys planning ahead, incapacitating your son and trying to smother him. Or it could be three boys playing, two of the boys pretending to put your son to bed and making the teddy ‘kiss’ him and accidentally frightening him or being s bit more tough and tumble than your son wanted. Or anywhere in between.
eithet way it does sound like they need to be told how important it is not to put things in people’s faces.

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:29

legoplaybook · 10/07/2025 22:26

Who would your complaint be to? The teacher or the 6 year olds?

Show quote history

I wouldn’t really say a complaint, however I would like to know what kind of steps would be taken to try and stop it from happening again? Is this not reasonable? It just doesn’t sit well at all with me, that if they didn’t stop then my son could have been left there unable to breathe, possibly dead?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:30

Sandyoldelbows · 10/07/2025 22:28

It’s hard to know how serious this is without knowing the context. It could be a pair of boys planning ahead, incapacitating your son and trying to smother him. Or it could be three boys playing, two of the boys pretending to put your son to bed and making the teddy ‘kiss’ him and accidentally frightening him or being s bit more tough and tumble than your son wanted. Or anywhere in between.
eithet way it does sound like they need to be told how important it is not to put things in people’s faces.

They deffo were not playing, my son was led there reading the books… the boys have admitted to what they did and it was completely unprovoked.

OP posts:

Finteq · 10/07/2025 22:31

Obviously you shouldn't have to.

Bur get your kid into a martial arts class- karate/ kick boxing or jujitsu etc.

In a few years no one will dare attack him.

legoplaybook · 10/07/2025 22:33

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:29

I wouldn’t really say a complaint, however I would like to know what kind of steps would be taken to try and stop it from happening again? Is this not reasonable? It just doesn’t sit well at all with me, that if they didn’t stop then my son could have been left there unable to breathe, possibly dead?!

Show quote history

It's a big leap from a child pushing in a teddy in another's face and someone dying!

I'd expect the children to be reprimanded and their behaviour corrected.

Presumably it's a supply teacher or maternity cover who doesn't know the children well - so now she knows those two need to be watched.

Original poster

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:33

Finteq · 10/07/2025 22:31

Obviously you shouldn't have to.

Bur get your kid into a martial arts class- karate/ kick boxing or jujitsu etc.

In a few years no one will dare attack him.

He’s already in 1-1 boxing, something which he really enjoys and is also really good at!

OP posts:

Finteq · 10/07/2025 22:34

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:27

I’m not really sure, I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I’d just like to know what other parents would do or hear from some teachers to see what would happen and if there is anything else that could happen?

Show quote history

The parents need to be called into the school and.told what their little kids have done.

The kids need to apologised. And maybe even suspended for a few days.

Unless they are suspended depending on the type of parent they probably won't care.

AuntMarch · 10/07/2025 22:35

Purpleballoo · 10/07/2025 21:28

The boys sound like a pair of psychos. I’d be seriously concerned about kids doing things like that. Where did they get that idea from and if they’re doing that now, what will they be like later? A stern talking to isn’t enough. Parents should be called in and the incident should be logged.

I’d start looking for a nicer school.

They sound like a pair of six year olds messing about without appreciating the possible consequences. Still unpleasant and shouldn't be ignored, but I do not think as an isolated incident that this indicates they'll be a couple of serial killers in the making.

Finteq · 10/07/2025 22:35

Tjb1923 · 10/07/2025 22:33

He’s already in 1-1 boxing, something which he really enjoys and is also really good at!

Show quote history

Good.

Hopefully they'll back off as he gets older.