Are you saying that this state education is inferior to 'qualitatively different' private provision and they aren't that privileged after all? It seems to be mixed messaging.
It's almost as though there are many different private school parents, all with different experiences, different requirements and different opinions
. I know that concept means holding several ideas in your mind at the same time...
My DD doesn't have SEN. I do think a great private school is qualitatively different to a state school. Different to most state schools, anyway - there's a huge variety. For me, it's not about exam results or Uni admission, but the broader concept of education. That's why I spend so much of my money sending DD to one.
You chose different ways to spend your money, presumably giving your DC different privilege. You know privilege isn't binary, right? Nor even linear. There are many different privileges.
In addition to making different priority calls from me on how to use your own money, you took £8k per year subsidised education from the state - which I didn’t - which left you more of your own income to buy even more stuff/experiences/privilege for your kids.
Which of us is more privileged? Who knows. We chose differently. Frankly, I really don't care.
I certainly don't think I have any more obligation to spend even more of my money on other people's children than you do. In fact, given your £8k per year subsidy, I'd say any obligation falls pretty squarely on you.
Other pp have children with SEN. They may also feel that the experience they get from their private schools is qualitatively different... in that their children were actually able to attend them.
They might have preferred to have a state school, but that option isn't available to them. That lack of choice has had a negative impact on their lives - which sucks. They are right to think that both of us are more privileged than them wrt education. We both had options which we are happier with than they are with their options.
I think they have even less obligation to spend their money on other people's children. They didn’t even have the option to take that £8k per year subsidy.