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Original poster

I'm shocked at this teachers behaviour. Do I need to do something?

83 replies

Spidermama · 13/05/2008 19:34

My dd, who's nine, told me today that her teacher regularly shows pupils work to the whole class to scorn it.

The other day she took the picture a boy had done of the school trip and said, furiously, 'Do you really call this a picture of our school trip?' DD said he's not the best drawer but the picture was OK. Then she threw it on the floor.

DD said the boy went very red and quiet (he's a well behaved boy) and the class laughed.

I think this must have been so traumatic for him. I can't believe she can be such a bully and feel compelled to do something. But what? Should I interfere? It wasn't even my child but I don't think I can do NOTHING about this.

What, if anything, would you do?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 13/05/2008 19:35

Do you know his parents?

Original poster
Spidermama · 13/05/2008 19:36

No TFM I don't. I wondered about having a chat with them but I really don't recognise his name at all. It's a big school with three classes per year group.

I guess I could try to find out.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 13/05/2008 19:36

I would ask around the other parents - see if they have similar stories. Don't be direct, just ask what their dcs have to say about the teacher, who is clearly a vicious loon.

Then slap approach the Head? Or do youhave a class rep for the PTA?

Janni · 13/05/2008 19:36

I would speak to the boy's parents to see if they want to take the matter further and I would encourage my daughter to tell me anything this crappy sounding teacher does to humiliate her.

I would also talk to other parents in the playground to see what they have heard. If enough parents have concerns, then a group letter to the Headteacher would be in order.

Scootergrrrl · 13/05/2008 19:37

Talk to the headteacher - this teacher's behaviour is bound to impact on other children in the class, even if it's not aimed directly at them. It's bullying and you don't want your daughter to be next in line.

Hulababy · 13/05/2008 19:37

I would definitely not be happy.

As it is not your child directly involved I am not 100% sure on course of action. Although you could bring it up simply as it has concerned your DD, so she is indirectly invlved anyway.

I think I would bypass the teacher though and go to a head of year/key stage if possible and express my concerns.

Original poster
Spidermama · 13/05/2008 19:37

Good ideas.

OP posts:
TurkeyLurkey · 13/05/2008 19:39

What an example to set the other kids..that its ok to laugh with scorn and bully someone. What a cow. I'd be gathering lots of evidence and complaining to the HEad.

FairyMum · 13/05/2008 19:40

I cannot quite believe that a teacher would do this. If really true I am I would go to the teacher directly to hear her side of the story. Yes, I would definatly do something about it. It's bullying of pupils and pupils obviously learn from their teachers, so....

dylanthecat · 13/05/2008 20:24

read your post but not rest of thread so I migh repeat

This is shocking! you need to see the head and if you get no joy there go to ofsted! This is bullying and they cant protect themselves from it just because it wasnt your child this time doesnt mean it wont be next time! and I would be concerned he was telling you about that boy because her was too embarased to tell you about an incident invoving him

LaneyBoggs · 13/05/2008 20:59

That sounds awful! You really should talk to the head. How sad for that little boy.

Having said that, I remember my primary teacher threw a chair across the classroom when our work wasn't good enough...

Original poster
Spidermama · 13/05/2008 21:01

Fairy I couldn't believe it either but dd assures me it's true and she's very honest. I let her read my OP to make sure it was absolutely accurate and she's very clear that it is.

OP posts:
Shitemum · 13/05/2008 21:20

I was scorned and bullied in front of the whole class at secondary school by the maths teacher. I would still happily stick a knife in the bast*rd.

Elloeise · 13/05/2008 21:35

I had a teacher like that and she put me of school for life, i would serusly think of going in to talk to the head on your own or with other parents to complain or even go as far removing your dd from that school if the said teacher is doing it to your dd

Original poster
Spidermama · 13/05/2008 22:13

She's not doing it to my dd elloise which makes it almost less easy to know how to proceed. But, reluctantly, I feel I have to do something. I will start by talking to a couple of other mums and go from there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidermama · 13/05/2008 22:14

shitemum sorry to hear that.
My dh also had a horrible tale of being humiliated by his teacher and he carried it around with him for years.

OP posts:
VanillaPumpkin · 13/05/2008 22:19

Oh goodness, how hideous .
Yes I am afraid you def need to do something. Approaching other parents (in a non-hysterical way) to gain an insight is a good start. Sorry this is on you shoulders. It should not be happening though. Dreadful.

mumeeee · 14/05/2008 12:35

That is awful. A good teacher would not do this to thier pupils. I would speak to the boys parewnts and the Head.

AbbeyA · 14/05/2008 12:42

It is something that a teacher just shouldn't do-ever. I would speak to her, tell her that your DD found it upsetting and why. If you don't get anywhere then see the Head.

DianaW · 14/05/2008 17:53

Hi,
(irregular Mumsnet user popping in here) -
I just wanted to add that it isn't only the child who is yelled at or humiliated who suffers in these situations. It's almost as hard on the other kids, too, and can have almost the same long-term effects even if it didn't happen to you personally. Teachers like this are very, very destructive. She's terrifying all the other kids (as well as encouraging bullying among any of the others who are so inclined, as well).
The kids all need their parents and other teachers at the school to pull together and make this stop. It's a bad message for your daughter that she has to stay in a situation where stuff like this is going on and could happen to her even if it hasn't yet. Sometimes the psychological effects are the worst, sometimes even worse than physical abuse can be.
Just my two cents,
Diana

DianaW · 14/05/2008 17:55

"She's not doing it to my dd elloise which makes it almost less easy to know how to proceed."

I guess what I mean is definitely don't let that stop you. Don't hesitate because she "isn't doing something to my child." She is doing something to your child. (It didn't sound like you were going to hesitate, I'm just clarifying). It is abuse, and it is very damaging to children to watch other children being abused! It causes fear, it sets the children against each other, it completely ruins an educational environment when children are sitting wondering who the next victim will be.

Original poster
Spidermama · 14/05/2008 23:29

Wise words Di. I have talked to one mum and I'm hoping to talk to the head tomorrow. My dd is desperate that I don't make it known that she said this so I will have to ask the head to see me in confidence and to act discreetly.

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 14/05/2008 23:40

agree with Diana. And am glad you're going to talk to the Head - I would not if this was me, talk to other parents because this just causes gossip and could possibly if the teacher gets wind of it, allow her to present you as a gossiper and troublemaker. Just go to the Head as you plan to do and go from there. And if no joy, I'd go on to the governors, and Ofsted, if necessary - but hopefully it won't be.

The teacher sounds either utterly awful, or having some sort of breakdown! Either way, she wants stopping

Good luck, and good for you to be taking this on and not just turning a blind eye - manly pat on the back from me!

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 23:49

I always wondered where one of my primary school teachers ended up!I had one like this used to make fun of the way I spoke in front of the whole class amongst other things.
One awful boy stuck a compass in my head, her response
don't be a snitch
it goes on

Madlentileater · 14/05/2008 23:52

what Diana said- bad for ALL the children in the class. write down what your dd said and date it. Do the same with any further stuff, being careful not to ask leading questions, be very neutral. As HG says, be careflof seeming to gossip. But speak to the head, show dd that you don't have to suffer in silence. good luck!