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Original poster

I'm shocked at this teachers behaviour. Do I need to do something?

83 replies

Spidermama · 13/05/2008 19:34

My dd, who's nine, told me today that her teacher regularly shows pupils work to the whole class to scorn it.

The other day she took the picture a boy had done of the school trip and said, furiously, 'Do you really call this a picture of our school trip?' DD said he's not the best drawer but the picture was OK. Then she threw it on the floor.

DD said the boy went very red and quiet (he's a well behaved boy) and the class laughed.

I think this must have been so traumatic for him. I can't believe she can be such a bully and feel compelled to do something. But what? Should I interfere? It wasn't even my child but I don't think I can do NOTHING about this.

What, if anything, would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidermama · 16/05/2008 14:04

lulu for your dh.
My dh had an incident whereby he broke a pen and got ink on his hands. The teacher barked at him to go and wash it off then when dh returned the whole class chanted "Inky Stinky

OP posts:
Lulumama · 16/05/2008 14:06

duchesse, this teacher might well be an abberration. i am sure spidermama knows her DD well enough to know if she would make this up.. and for what gain?

duchesse · 16/05/2008 14:08

cross-post lulu
was typing while OP's post went up...

Lulumama · 16/05/2008 14:13

s'ok

Madlentileater · 16/05/2008 14:34

Diana, I'm about your age and I too have very vivid, visual memories- ours was a semi rural home counties all-white school, one year we had a Black boy join the school, looking back I guess he was African but no one knew, anyway this teacher(who was known to be strict) completely bawled him out over some very minor incident, dragged him to the front of the class by his arm and swung him round, hitting him with her other hand. I remember feeling so strongly that there was something seriously wrong, but had no language to express what it was. And never told my parents. So true that these things have a lasting impact. Strangely, the boy wasn't in our class the following year, wonder what happened to him.

Original poster
Spidermama · 16/05/2008 14:40
Sad
OP posts:
DianaW · 16/05/2008 17:31

It's really true these things stay with you. Practically everybody has some school humiliation story, things that just seem ridiculous years later but you know they really cut deeply at the time.

Spidermama, you're doing a good thing also showing your daughter that if somebody else is being mistreated, we ought to speak up about it, not just say "Well thank goodness it wasn't me."

aGalChangedHerName · 16/05/2008 17:31

Duchesse the teacher who called my ds1 and his pal names and verbally abused others too was younger than me.
There will always be shite teachers just as in every profession.

catok · 16/05/2008 18:08

I'd go directly to the teacher who said that, and say "I've been hearing in the playground about x's picture - could you tell me what happened because I may be hearing Chinese whispers" - and let her damn herself. Watch body language, eye flicker etc. Then let her know you are going to talk to the Head.
This doesn't sound like a good teacher having a bad moment; but, please, most of us work really hard to be fair and honest with the pupils. I try to be 'fairest of them all' - not the evil Queen!!

Original poster
Spidermama · 16/05/2008 18:23

catok I like this idea but it would identify my dd as the whistleblower and I have promised her I won't. She's already very scared and I don't want her to think twice before sharing this kind of thing with me. I'm really glad she felt she could come to me and don't want to betray her.

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DianaW · 17/05/2008 04:51

I agree this is not "a good teacher having a bad moment" - this was extreme. Good teachers having bad moments might do lots of things, lose their temper and shout or even lose their temper and even hit someone - and to me, although it is a bad thing, I would probably not condemn the person, I have certainly lost my temper with children and teaching is very demanding!

But that is different from teachers who show signs of true sadism. When a teacher is setting out to humiliate a child - a teacher who openly mocks a child's work, for instance, especially in front of the class - this is someone who shouldn't be teaching, IMO. She is either seriously cruel and malicious or else she is so burnt out that she has really lost it.

duchesse · 17/05/2008 08:45

If there was really nothing remotely ruse on the poor boy's sheet. then she is a psycho who should not be near children...

duchesse · 17/05/2008 08:45

rude

duchesse · 17/05/2008 08:46

How about speaking to the little boy's mother and telling her what happened (he may not have).

SSSandy2 · 17/05/2008 09:06

Something should be done about it definitely. This person should not be a teacher. Haven't read the thread so don't want to repeat a lot of good advice but do tell the dc's parents and I think a strong letter to the head is in order. Thing is this is affecting negatively every dc in the class, not just the particular dc who is on the receiving end of this treatment, so all dp in the class should have an interest in seeing the back of this teacher.

ingles2 · 17/05/2008 09:23

How awful for that little boy! Has your dd mentioned any other incidents SM? I think you are doing the right thing by approaching the head, but I would probably try and speak to the parents as well.
Another 80's pupil here and I still get shudders from thinking about my primary maths teacher who used to humiliate me and throw the board rubber at my head every friday without fail because I would be bottom at the mental arthimetic test

Original poster
Spidermama · 17/05/2008 18:40

I talked to the head today. To his credit he listened but there's a nmajor sticking point which prevents strategy agreement.

I made it clear this was in confidence and that it's important that my dd is no identified as the whistle blower. She's been very axious about this because a) she has to be in the class with this woman for over half a term more and b)she will feel betrayed and will be unwilling, in future, to open up to me.

In that case, he said, could he identify me. I said of course not because she'd be implicated and identified by association.

He said he didn't feel it would be fair to approach the teacher without saying from whom the allegation has come.

I said I wasn't quite sure why he felt it important and why he didn't seem to respect the need for confidentiality when it came to my dd.

He said something about his concerns that her teaching union may demand to know.

Anyway, it was a perfectly amicable, pragmatic chat we had and we ended it by both agreeing we needed to take further advice. I said that perhaps I'd find out if -mumsnet Ofsted had advice on the matter.

What do you think?

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Original poster
Spidermama · 17/05/2008 18:42

Ingles I don't want to go to the parents of the boy as I don't want word to spread around parents before the teacher is given a chance to check herself and have a think and possibly sort herself out. Also she needs to be made aware of the allegations so she can put her side.

OP posts:
ingles2 · 17/05/2008 18:58

hmmm... well I think I'd allow myself to be named as the source then. I think if the head is aware it would be very difficult for the teacher to bully your daughter in any way.
I do completely empathise with you wanting to protect your dd, but in the long term it surely has to be for the best.

SSSandy2 · 17/05/2008 19:00

well I think he could and should still tackle it by saying he has been approached by a concerned parent/ concerned parents and feels they need to have a serious talk about this.

if he isn't going to do that there has to be some type of monitoring/control going on in that classroom

Original poster
Spidermama · 17/05/2008 19:40

Ingles I have promised my dd that I won't do that.

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ingles2 · 17/05/2008 19:49

Then I'm sorry but I think you probably shouldn't have mentioned it. I kind of agree with the head you can't make an accusation and then not back it up. This is a teachers career we are talking about after all.
Don't get me wrong I do sympathise but in any situation like this the full facts need to be known.

Original poster
Spidermama · 18/05/2008 09:24

Hmmm. Shouldn't have mentioned it eh? I feel that the emphasis of protection should be on the child and not on the teacher. I don't actually see how it helps for the parent to be identified and what the teacher would do with the information particularly as the alleged incident wasn't even directed at the person who has come forward.

I felt a duty to report unacceptable behaviour from a woman in charge of 30+ nine year olds day after day.

What should I say to my dd then next time she comes home reporting an agressive incident of public humiliation against one of her peers. Perhaps I should put my hands over my ears and go 'lalalalalalala I can't hear you?'

OP posts:
cornsilk · 18/05/2008 09:28

Phone the child's parent and inform them of what your child has reported.

PortAndLemon · 18/05/2008 10:05

Spidermama, I think you are going to have to talk to the parents of the boy concerned. I appreciate your reasons for not doing so, but (a) if they need someone who is prepared to be identified, and you aren't, then it will have to be someone else, and (b) if the head will tell the teacher in question that there's been a complaint about this incident without identifying you then she is very likely to assume it's from the boy and his parents and it seems only fair that they should know about it in case of any repercussions.