Convince me to not homeschool..?

[TawnyT]

Hello MN. I think we're going to homeschool my DD.

DD is 2 now. DP and I both work currently and she's in nursery 4 days a week (I work PT). We jointly earn about 150k and would loose a third of that if/when I quit work to homeschool. Based on our current ongoings its financially feasible.

I just don't think our school system quite cuts it anymore. Not sure it was ever great really, but the attendance crisis, increase in bad behaviour and decrease the number and quality of teachers, the introduction of questionable 3rd party teaching material, increased focus on exam results, and generally bad reports from teachers/sudents on their current school experience... has me thinking there might be a better way to do things.

We're considering homeschooling and potentially travelling a bit (DP can work from anywhere). We would enrol in a local homeschool programme while in the UK (there's lots in our area) to cover the social aspect and provide a bit of structure to work to. DP and I currently work from home so we know we can spend a lot of time together quite comfortably and are good at instilling a work-like structure at home. We'd let DD have input on what to learn and when, and give the option of traditional schooling if she wated to...

It feels like a massive step though, and so against the norm. So I'd love to get other views and opinions... has anyone homeschooled and loved it? Hated it? Why? What worked, what didn't work? Anything I haven't thought about? Anyone having a great experience with schools (as a parent or teacher) and think I should reconsider?

Friend was HS'd... her kids go to conventional school. Friend is Single Parent, has to work.

You might want to look back at my posts then. (:

I’ve taught about 10 kids over the years who have been he, academically they’ve all been fine and often very good at talking to adults so they appear very confident but they have all found navigating friendships extremely difficult and it has caused them great anxiety. They just haven’t had the chance to learn how to identify ‘their people’ from a big random bunch or how to develop friendships organically and how to work with people they don’t get on with / are different. I’m sure he kids attend groups and socialise but that’s with a very self-selecting group with parents very involved; not at all a preparation for real life. As a teacher if we have a pupil starting school who has been he we know they may well extra support.

Thanks for the responses all, reading them all and taking everything on board 👌

It's interesting you think this. Home educated children have often been home educated because they displayed the problems you described at an early stage.

Just send her to a small private school.

None of the problems listed.

You can well afford it!

Hi, I know this is an old post... but i loved your comment. My daughter is autistic with severe school anxiety and shes just started to have panic attacks at school and school just keep making me force her in, which breaks my heart. I'm currently thinking of home educating and reading your post made me feel more positive about it. Can you give me any advice on what's worked best for you? Thankyou

I'm a teacher and I would agree that some state schools are failing our kids and you cannot just rely on an ofsted rating. However, many state schools are amazing. You should go and see them all...you will get a feel about them.

My own kids had a great primary education and are thriving in secondary school. Do the teachers sometimes get things wrong? Make me roll my eyes? Yes of course but my kids are doing well.

In my experience homeschooling is often a last option for families and children with diagnosed or unsupported SEN who are struggling massively. I totally understand and can see why that is often the best option for them. From the inside I know that our provision is often woefully inadequate due to lack of funds, lack of specialist provision and years of austerity cutbacks. But that doesn't mean it's what's right for your dd.

Just last week my dd stood up in a theatre full of adults and teenagers and did a solo. I was astonished, I could never have done that at school. Her confidence was built up by a student leaders, basically older students running the clubs. My ds is actually doing a sports leadership programme. At primary they did similar things. They both grew in independence and confidence on various residentials. They've participated in many clubs where they've built friendships and social skills. They have also had to deal with friendship issues, not so nice teachers, boring lessons, subjects they find hard or are less interested in and they have learnt to navigate througsituations, how to get support when I'm not there, how to fix things when it's gone wrong, how not everyone has the same values as us and how they might need caution. You jusy cannot recreate those sort of independent (from you) growth experiences for your kids on the same scale when you are homeschooling and I personally feel that for most children those are what school is important for.

Personally I can’t think of anything worse. My kids don’t want to do learning I’ve created and I’m not a teacher and get frustrated. We would end up fighting. As we did during covid. They go to a lovely state school. They have their own friends and experiences and have learnt to be independent in some situations.

Also I know some sports teachers who run some home ed sessions in the day times. They said most of the kids who come don’t listen, don’t take instructions and cause chaos over simple things they’ve been told to do. Most of which is to keep them safe on the equipment! And the parents just pander to it. Now I’m really sure
not all kids who are home educated are like that, but they said it’s a stark contrast between those classes and the after school ones. It does make you wonder how those kids will do when they get a job.

Hello, so sorry your daughter is struggling so much. How old is she?
What exactly do you want to know?
My first piece of advice would be to join the facebook group HEFA (home education for all) and have a look at the Education Otherwise website. Learn all your rights and responsibilities and how to deregister her if you decide to (it’s very simple and easy- you just send an email to school and don’t send her in again!).

Ah classic HE generalisations. I haven’t even got the energy to go into any detail on your comment but suffice to say we are a very diverse set of parents (as school parents are) and not all HE groups/kids are like that. I’m an ex teacher for one and I can tell you I don’t ‘pander’ to my children 🙄

Home education is not for everyone as school is not for everyone. I for one would never put my children into a school but I certainly don’t think you should home educate just because I do.

It will depend on your child. I thrived in school, although my schools were in special measures. The things that were most meaningful to me (orchestra, student council, some incredible teachers) couldn’t have been replicated in the same way at home school. I would wait until they’re a bit older and see what you think they’d benefit from. Plus if you have a good local primary, you can always try that and then swap to home schooling at a later date?