Would most people choose private education if they could afford it

[mids2019]

My children go to reasonable state schools but especially from my older daughter I keep hearing about a succession of cover teachers and general malaise in the school system (governments fault not the schools)

That for me asking the question would most people choose private education if affordable in their heart of hearts or are there egalitarian parents who would still choose state on ideological grounds?

I am in two minds about this but certainly the private sector locally is attracting quite a few.

This is something that dh and I considered.

My left-leaning parents were appalled at the knife crime in our local secondaries, and at what they considered to be the dumbing-down of academic opportunities offered, so they worked like stink to send us to private secondary. We had quite a few classmates in similar positions, as well as very wealthy classmates.

Dh and I decided to choose our dcs' schools based upon pastoral care. They all offered a wider range of subjects and a wider range of academic challenge than the secondaries where I grew up. We figured that we'd rather have a less stressed work life and a SAHM parent for longer, and we could use the spare income to supplement our dcs' education with tutors and external experiences as needed.

In the event, tutors weren't needed as the pastoral care was such that if the children's education was being disrupted, the school actually addressed it.

We wouldn't choose on ideological grounds, but on what we felt was best for our dc and for the family as a whole.

No, we could afford private school but chose our local primary school for our children.

I wouldn’t and I’m a teacher in the state sector. I have considered teaching in the private sector but I strongly believe everybody should be able to access good quality education so haven’t made the leap. For my own dc, I think being exposed to a far wider variety of society and much more skilled teachers (my friends who teach in private sector freely admit they become deskilled in the private sector) has benefitted them.

No. We have enough money but would never consider it. Private education is unethical, perpetuates inequality, and should be abolished.

I think unless you have an ideological attitude to private education (and would never contemplate state school) all you want for your children is a great education. Our state comp is shite and so we have gone private.

My parents were always against private education although I was sent to a grammar. However for DD, their DGC, they have fully supported our decision to send her private. Their concern over her education eventually trumped their moral/ethical stance as we aren't a grammar county.
I just want the best education I can get for DD so had no scruples about choosing private and I have no regrets so far.

Those who can afford Private education are more likely to live near better state schools. If your local school is good, there isn't as much advantage to paying for Private.

My BIL is a good example of this... DH passed 11+, BIL didn't. The catchment option was the school spouted as "one of the worst in Britain". They scraped every only, remortgaged, grandparents contributed to send him to a private school instead. FIL worked 6 days a week in a job he hated.

For primary no but yes for secondary.

I went to private school, my children won’t, no way could we afford it.

Absolutely not. I'm opposed to it and have lots of friends who are privately educated who have not found it a massive benefit. Some find it a bit of a millstone.

Easy for me to say as I don’t have kids but I do have an ideological opposition to it and even if I was a multimillionaire I wouldn’t go private. I understand the choice might be more difficult if there’s a SEN child being failed by the state. My ex and current partner were both privately educated and we discussed this hypothetically, they were even more vehemently opposed than I am.

No, it’s immoral to have a two tier system. It entrenches existing inequalities. Everyone I’ve ever met who went to private school is so entitled and closed minded

Everyone I’ve ever met who went to private school is so entitled and closed minded

Gosh! All those closed-minded people …

Exactly this for us too

I also think the everybody’s invited website revealed the huge problem with misogyny and sexism in private education. And drugs.

I'd maybe pay for an "alternative" style private school (the type like Summerhill) because they don't exist in the state system.

So a lot of bone ruins seem to be on ideological grounds of questioning the additional benefit of private schooling. Good point about those able to pay for private schooling probably having a house in a catchment area for a good school.

Because there aren’t drugs, misogyny and sexism in state schools are there?
These sweeping statements are ridiculous

Oh there are, undoubtedly. But I firmly believe it is more difficult for girls in mixed private education than in mixed state education. I have done huge amounts of research into it.

There is quite a spectrum in terms of quality of private education. Some private schools are rubbish and worse than state options. Also, private schools tend to have more of a discernable "ethos" about them as they all select their intake in some form or another (academically, economically, socially). If that ethos doesn't suit your child, then they are often better in the broader state intake. SEN provision can often be better in the state sector as well. I suppose many people would, if money were no object, choose a private school that was good, and right for their child, over a failing state school. But there is a lot in between in both private and state that might make the choices less black and white.

And every state educated person I've ever met is an illiterate chav! See the danger in using sweeping generalisations? They just expose your own prejudice.

I have found my left leaning bias has diminished since having children and I am maybe a bit more pragmatic (cynical?) about the state of society so I am now mixed in my opinion. Personally I have met relatively few people that are absolutely determined not to use the private sector irrespective of finance.

I would but DH is ideologically opposed. Grammar is the compromise for us. We were both gifted kids who were bored at state comprehensives and don’t want that for our DC.

I think it’s naive to think that if private schools were abolished, the privilege gap would close. David Cameron’s daughter went to state school and her grandad is a baronet. She could have gone to the worst school in the country and still be more privileged than the average child just from her family, upbringing and socioeconomic background.

My husbands children went to a private school
My son did no he went to a good comp they are similar age but the difference in them id very telling
To me all that they had forced onto them is learning of a huge scale so all there time outside school was sitting in doing revision after school / weekends / holidays its non stop it seemed to me because your parents payed they seemed to have a lot of pressure to do well but I felt it was to extreme they were not being normal young teenagers so they just didn't have any social skills what so ever also had a bad attitude with regards ppl in general if they come from not much money / working class why such snobbery ! Just cannot say hello to people and are not confident which I think cases a lot of anxiety no balance
Where my son didn't have that pressure he still did well had lots of friends from different backgrounds was social could interact and talk to ppl more confident in himself and yes did revise but I'd let him have holidays he was not taking school work on 6wks holiday to Greece ! Also didn't suffer from this snobbery of looking down on ppl and being critical
So no all the money in the world id still not send my children to private school.

We are both state educated. Ideologically we don’t agree with private education but have made our decision on what’s best for the kids not on ideology. Started kids in state. Lack of resources in the state sector which was then further impacted by Covid prompted a switch to private.
Private is not for us (at least our local options don’t suit one DC). Lack of local friends, insane tutoring and competitive helicopter parents is just not our vibe. We can afford private but I must say we regret moving to private and will switch back to state at the next natural move.

However had we stayed in the state system I guess we would have always wondered if we were doing our best to invest in our DC.
It’s a really tough call- only you know your DC and what will suit them best.

Everyone you've ever met who told you that they went to private school is so entitled and closed minded

Perhaps that says more about the type of person who boasts about their education than any the education itself.