2 week, Term time holiday for my childrens mothers wedding?? HELP

[RideNest]

Hello,
I'd like some help and advise please......

My children - 12/13 year old & 9/10 year old both attend school - primary and secondary.

Mum took them out of school last year for a holiday to America, to visit her partners brother. I was ok with this, it's not something you do every year and my children have good attendance generally.
They've just asked whether it's ok to take them out of school again, for 2 weeks, to visit America but this time they're getting married!

I don't know what to do and ive said I'll think about it, but that has resulted in an argument, because me thinking about it could result in me saying no. Harsh words have been exchanged and they've alluded to never forgiving me if I ruin their wedding and I should relinquish control.

The dates are 27/6 - 11/7 - so towards the end of the year, which, if there's ever a good time, I guess at the end is best. My children will be in year 8 and year 5.

I'm worried about what they'll miss in 2 weeks, although, as before it is towards the end of the year.
When they went before my daughter was in year 6 so they wasn't doing much at all, but she did miss transation day to high school which wasn't ideal but she got over it.

There are other things to consider too though - a school residential trip for my youngest in year 5, end of year school trip for my daughter, End of year foodball presentations....all of which 'could' fall inside the dates suggested as they have in previous years.

I also remember the previous trip been dubbed a once in a lifetime trip as they also visited Disney. Although this is also the same as they're wanting to get married.

They could do this in the holidays - yes it'll cost more but it is a choice they could make so the children's eduaction and life isn't effected.

What should I do? Should I be ok about it? Should I put my footdown and insist they look at alterntaive dates?

Glad its helpful - and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I think that sometimes when you're co-parenting with someone who you disagree with, its ok to sit in the grey area a bit. I think that its ok to not be ok with this and to strongly disagree with it happening, but also to decide not to go down the route of challenging it.

Missing residentials is not so disruptive, although the children may be annoyed. Your older one may well have end of year assessments, and that might be rather more problematic - especially with a two week absence. She could find she has to spend the last week of term catching them up, while everyone does "end of term" stuff.

I wonder if you can have an informal chat to the secondary school; they are never going to authorise the absence, but they might at least be able to tell you when assessments are likely to happen.

Is it just the partner's brother who lives over there? There's a difference between "wedding has to be in the USA because all of partner's family are there" and "wedding is in the USA because we fancy combining it with a holiday".

Exactly. She should wait til the summer holiday. And to be fair, my kids always had fun stuff going on once the exams were done at secondary. Activities weeks, trips etc.

At that age it really doesn't matter. But if there is a fine she pays it