Parents of August borns! Any regrets about not deferring?

[PuffinsRocks]

Did you regret sending your August baby to school two minutes after they turned 4? We haven't deferred as we can't afford the extra year of childcare and I'm worrying about September already!

I didn’t defer my late August born boy and no regrets at all. He did start off behind but has caught up over the years, was on the bottom tables for the first couple of years, then middle tables and achieving ‘greater depth’ by the end of primary. He’s now in year 8 and in top sets.

I was freaking out as he was not toilet trained properly at this point before he started, wees were fine but most poos were in his pants. He ‘got it’ within his first week of starting, one accident I think and then never an issue again.

Childcare savings were definitely a bonus too.

DD is a end of July baby and right up until the summer she started school she would nap for a couple of hours every afternoon so I was really worried about how she would cope going to school but she adapted really well.
she’s now 14 and in year 10 doing GCSEs and is mostly As so I don’t think it’s harmed her at all.

Mine is June and we were very tempted to defer, had the agreement etc but then moved and were happier with the smaller class size of the school he would start and they assured us that in their opinion he was ready and they would have been happy to defer him if he wasn’t.
We’re now at Easter of Reception year and yes he has found it tiring but he loves school. Has settled really well, made lovely friends, gone from only being able to barely write his name to writing sentences and reading well. Most importantly he is happy and always wants to go in. I’m still aware that things like sport could be tricky in the future but for now it seems to have worked well and I think he’d have been bored in the nursery where he was. I know good nurseries can cope but let’s be honest they’re not all able to stretch the older kids and keep them entertained when they’re so poorly funded.

My DH is a late August birthday and we are expecting DC1 in August. We've already talked a bit about school starts.

DH is quite blasé and doesn't see the need to defer because "he was fine". And it's true in that he is happy now and has achieved a lot since leaving school etc.

However, he has said many times how much he hated school and whilst he has a diagnosis of dyspraxia I think there are other difficulties that have gone undiagnosed.

I can't help but think that his difficulty with spelling and handwriting in particular were dismissed as "he's young. He'll catch up" whereas if he was viewed as the oldest in the year it would have been picked up as a concern and he'd have been offered proper support and therefore had far better exam results.

None here. Dts are 29th august. Yes they were 'behind' in yR but now in y7 they are both in top sets and doing really well.

Deferring came a year after my son started school - I would have definitely deferred if I had the choice.

In the long term it turned out fine but if he's started a year later then he would have had an extra year of learning through play and would have been judged against the year below so he may have felt more confident about academics.

Socially he was fine and I don't know if this was a coincidence but his friends were other summer borns.

My dd is end of August and now in y3. I'm so glad we didn't defer. She is quite emotionally immature compared to some of her peers but academically she would be bored out of her brains if she was in y2 now. It was definitely the right choice for her.

I think it depends on both the child and the school - DD’s (state) school is quite full-on and pushy, the one down the road is liberal, arty and child-led when it comes to formal learning.

DD is Sept born, in Reception and sometimes very bored / tuned out in class. She does things that are well ahead of where she should be and prefers older kids, which made me wonder if she would have benefited from jumping into Y1… nothing to be done really. When I look at her cohort (and we get daily class photos of their phonics work etc) I notice a marked difference between autumn and summer born kids. I’m sure the academics shake out; I just hate the idea of any child getting used to always being slower than others/needing help/not understanding as much.

I was a mid August child and started that September and socially I was nowhere near ready despite pre school. I think if there are no additional needs then academically everyone will catch up and be fine so that side wouldn't bother me but id be more concerned about the social side of it. I know it just bewildered me when I started

We considered deferring DC2 (late July born), discussed it with nursery who said he’d be absolutely fine so went ahead and he started Reception in September with at least one deferred child who is over a year older than him. I was worried because he was napping until a couple of months before starting school but he has settled well and is making good progress with phonics and writing (has always been good at maths). He does sometimes still have a nap on a Saturday though!

When I look at him now and see how much progress he has made I can’t imagine him still being at nursery with children a year younger. As well as having an older sibling, he is tall and good at sports (as much as a four year old can be!) so that definitely helps.

Don’t worry at all about writing - my DC couldn’t even write his name on starting and is now writing sentences (in very large letters!). You should really work on the toilet training though, as the pupil/staff ratio is so much higher than at nursery and they won’t be able to support as much.

Just thought , I said I would have deferred with hindsight. However there are some things which were specific to our situation . Firstly my daughter was always extremely clingy , playgroups , nursery , drop offs were always awful. Secondly when my daughter was 11 months I had to have an operation which put me out of action for 3-6 months. After having me as her main carer, she was then passed from pillar to post for months as I couldn't pick her up. And I think we focussed our concern on how our 4 yr old coped rather than 'the baby', think another year of being at home and then being the oldest in the class would have been much better for her.

Nope no regrets at all, she was ready and is thriving

OP, of course on an individual level lots of kids are fine whether deferred or not, and of course most parents will be happy with their choices. But the evidence is pretty clear that being young in the year is, on a whole population level, disadvantageous, so anecdotal accounts from parents, whatever choices they've made, are just that, anecdotal.

Our children start school very very young (whether they defer or not) compared to most countries and again, there is a lot of evidence that it's too young. Look at the educational attainment of children in countries like Finland, where they start at 7. I've never really understood why British children would be "bored" doing an "extra" year at preschool (if they defer) whereas Finnish children do an extra 3!

You can't really compare the Scandinavian children not starting school until 7. The Finnish preschool programme teach reading and maths, just like the UK infant system. It's just called something else.

Not what you asked but I did defer my August-born and am very happy with the decision. It was the best thing for him.

My Council used to have a system where there were two date starts, September and January and if child born March or later you could choose the January date. It was for a while the norm, then hardly anyone took it up I think due to childcare costs and when the right to defer a whole year happened they scrapped it altogether, shame really as the September to Feb children got some time in a smaller class, went back a week later in Jan to let the younger ones have ‘their’ time. Teacher got to know the children really well. Deferring a whole year sometimes seems too much but one term seemed to work really well.

No regrets academically, there's a huge mix of abilities when they first start and DD was somewhere in the middle.
Emotionally it's hitting hard now when her friends are mostly 10 and she's still 9 for a fair while yet, they seem a lot more grown up than her at the moment.

My son is 13th August. No regrets at all. Very academic, top sets, great GCSE & A level results. The only comment he made about it was when all of his mates were turning 18 in the sixth form & he couldn’t celebrate with a pint until his birthday in August!

He used to have birthday sleepovers (his choice of activity) in the first weekend after the schools went back in September because his friends (or us) would invariably be away on holiday. I think that was the only concession to his mid-August birthday.

Btw do speak to the chosen school and how they address it, it will likely be reassuring.

there was (is) a cluster of august borns in my ds’s class and I know
the other parents are also happy how things have worked out.

sone children Will have specific needs and benefit from that extra year. But I think most will do fine.

I don't have August babies but I do have a July one that is now in secondary and they are very bright, picked up everything easily and deferring would have been the wrong thing to do for them. I also have a very early October one who was late so potentially could have ended up being an August baby and there is no way he would have coped starting school just after turning 4. I'm always glad he had that extra year. So it really does depend on the child.

I know right now your dc seems very little and the idea of starting school is difficult, I found it very hard, but imagine how they will feel in their teens when they are a school year older than everyone in their class. I know someone this happened to and they hated it. If you choose to keep them back a year they'll always be there, if you choose to start school you could consider a 4 day week. If they've been in any formal childcare setting then they will have already started the education curriculum so reception will just be the next stage of that

My DD is the same age, turning 4 in late July.
Her reception class do a lot of learning through play and is attached to the nursery so all the EFYS are in the building and separate from the school.
Just because he hasn't managed potty training yet (it's only April and a lot can change in between now and September) doesn't sound like a reason for defer especially when you said that he is good with numbers, social skills and you think he would get bored!

No regrets. I did think about it but changed my mind. She's doing fantastic, meeting all targets and above her age in reading. She's got lots of friends and is very happy. My son is July born and starting reception in September, he didn't talk until age 2 but has caught up and is doing really well in the nursery attached to the school so happy for him to start reception as well.

We didn't defer and I do have regrets. Mine has struggled somewhat academically but a lot emotionally.

We did consider it but the school assured us she would be supported, etc. and discouraged deferring. They have given some support but she would definitely be doing better in the year below. She's in year 4 now though, so we just have to push through and hope it gets easier for her in time.

Nephew is August born. Like you my brother didn’t defer due to childcare reasons. He started school last Sept and thus far:

1. Learned how to read and write by December and is now in the the school’s equivalent of a G&T set.
2. Was behind socially until January when something clicked and he now has an incredibly active social life.
3. He

He plays a lot of football and so that does help open doors on the playground.