Parents of August borns! Any regrets about not deferring?

[PuffinsRocks]

Did you regret sending your August baby to school two minutes after they turned 4? We haven't deferred as we can't afford the extra year of childcare and I'm worrying about September already!

I was not able to defer where we live and my son would massively have benefited from starting a year later. He's year 3 and academically a year behind. Learning and always being behind the others is very hard for him. School has been a struggle. I f you feel like your child has always been a bit behind others in their development I would try and defer but it's not always possible unless there's an ehcp in place or you have a school that will just let the parent device what's best. Out school was a blanket no without an ehcp, no exceptions. We tried veryhard, followed all the advice but didn't succeed unfortunately.

No. DS is 27 August and in year 5. Doing really well academically after a slow start in reception. He enjoyed it from the very beginning but struggled with writing and reading. It then clicked around Christmas of reception and he's been at expected and some exceeding levels since.

It is noticeable sometimes though that he seems more immature than some of his classmates. He isn't as emotionally mature and there can be that contrast between this and him being quite clever.

I am beginning to worry a bit about how he will get on at high school. I don't think he'll struggle with the work but I worry about his relationships with peers

@Sweetpeasforever That sounds really unfair given how long it takes to get an EHCP!

My summer born boy went to University last September. There have been many times over the years that I thought it would have been better if he had started school a year later. He has done well at school academically and has friends but there have been times when life as the youngest kid in the year has been tough... the start of high school was really tough.. and there have been many times when the people around him were simply ahead of him, socially. The statistical evidence is that Autumn borns do better... anecdotes aside.

I have a July born boy so nearly the same. It wasn't an option to defer when he was starting school. Well you could delay starting, but then they just went straight into year 1 which I think is even worse so we just sent him to reception as normal.
He had an entirely uneventful school career and did well academically. Everything has been fine. That said, I do wonder if things could have been better than fine if he had deferred. My other son has a September birthday and socially his school experience has been radically different to his brother's. Now of course they have different personalities. DS2 is outgoing and self confident and DS1 is very shy and reserved. So maybe it would have made no difference anyway. Or did their different school experience contribute to their different self confidence levels? Chicken or egg? I guess I will never know but I sometimes wonder if DS1 would have been better starting later. He ended up delaying University and is now with the year group he would have been in if he had deferred school start so it's ended up the same. But I do wonder if he would have been more suited to that year group all the way through. However all any of us can do is our best, with the knowledge and opportunities we have at the time. It's probably better not to dwell on such things too much once a decision has been made.

Yeah it was stressful and it's knocked his confidence. He doesn't need an ehcp but is under sen just because he's behind the others. I think maturity wise and physically it's tough for him to keep up despite being tall but he is pretty fab and I think he's just starting to come into his own now. What's helping is just exposing him to lots of different interests so he finds stuff he's good at. But I think you know in your gut if they should stay back or not. My second child is also summer born but I think will be fine.

We deferred our 28 August born11yo DD and have never regretted it. She probably would have been fine left in her 'normal' cohort but she has absolutely flourished and I think being the oldest helped.

I see what you were saying but if your child was born a month later you would have to afford it, so it's best not to let money be a factor in deciding something which can change the trajectory of your child's life.

DD encountered the "being too young to get a job" thing too after both GCSEs and A levels when she was still 15/17. But the other end of starting school young is that you finish young. She had a gap year after A levels in which she was able to work and earn money and have lots of fun, which she'd have spent still studying if she'd started school a year later. (She's also always been chaffing at the bit to grow up, and I think would have been very frustrated being at school for an extra year)

Mine has been fine although more tired than her spring born brother. She's been picking up the writing and reading fine though.
I have a Friend who is pleased she deferred due to speech delay, she feels he's been more confident having that extra year at home. But she did have to find a school that would let him defer and still go into reception. She also has to find a secondary that will let him defer in a few years.

I've another friend who wishes she had deferred due to toileting issues but they weren't aware there was a medical issue until he was halfway through reception.
It's your gut instinct about your child's needs really.

No, none. Ds caught up with his older class mates within about 18 months.

Of the other 6 boys in his reception class four were August born so he was in good company.🙂

My birthday is the 26th of August and my DM did regret not keeping me back a year as I struggled a bit to keep up but I would've hated being a year behind all my friends in school.
I'm glad that things worked out how they did.

Not at all.

My now 5 year old is August born.

Back in 2020 he turned 3 in August and started school nursery in September for half days every day.

In 2021 he turned 4 in August and started reception in September for full days.

In 2022 he turned 5 in august then began year 1.

We now know he is autistic, but back in 2020 we didn't. He had severely delayed speech, very poor social skills, couldn't even tolerate other children being in the vicinity. He could only say about 5 single words and mostly communicated by crying, making noises and pointing. He couldn't recognise colours, letters, numbers, shapes, he had no basic learning abilities at all. At times we considered whether a mainstream education would even be possible.

Now, he is speaking in full clear sentences, he not only tolerates children he plays with them and has formed friendships, he can count, add, subtract, he can read basic phonics books, he knows all phonics sounds and can blend them. He is literally defying all the odds.

I Imagine we would be in a very different place now had we deferred for a year.

I know our situation is different due to autism but it just goes to show what a difference it can make to a child being in a school environment.

Someone is always going to be the youngest, but being the youngest makes no difference to their individual abilities.

I have a July born boy so nearly the same. It wasn't an option to defer when he was starting school. Well you could delay starting, but then they just went straight into year 1 which I think is even worse so we just sent him to reception as normal.
Yeah this is it, I just don't see how this would help him TBH and he'll see all his nursery friends move on without him. He's really ahead with some things like numbers and he has great social skills, really confident, I think he'll get bored doing another year at nursery. We just need to crack that potty and work on his writing!

Nope
my end July is now 30. By the end of reception she would have been bored. She aced academia through to a phd.
the only issue was not being 18 to legally go pinning and clubbing. She’s not yet learned to drive though 😂

Not regretted it. Now year 2 and though she struggles with reading she really excels at maths. Socially and emotionally no issues at all and she is the youngest in her class by a long way. Eldest class are over half summer borns but youngests have more of an older group and not many across the summer. She’s had no problems making friends with the older children and thoroughly loves school.
No issues with tiredness either

I totally hear what people are saying about the fact it depends on the child. And that he'll be the youngest for 16/18/21.

Don’t worry about writing. Neither of mine could write before they started school. Youngest couldn’t even recognise all the letters. That’s what school is for!
Focus on the potty training. You’ve got several months to get that sorted before september

Ds is end of July. No regrets at all. I was so worried though, but he absolutely blossomed at school.

@Gymmum82 thanks it's helpful to know they don't need to write, I got given a developmental sheet from nursery for age 3-4 this week and one of the things on it was "can he write his name" which he absolutely can't do yet! I keep hoping potty training will "click" one of these weeks.

My summer born end of august child who is now an adult started school after the Christmas. It never held her back at all apart from falling asleep once in the classroom. She is now a GP and wouldn't hesitate in starting her child at school in the September

My 14year old was 4 and 3 weeks when she started reception , 3 and 3 weeks starting the same school nursery.
She never had any issues apart from the very odd occasion when i felt she was slightly less mature than some of her peers.
She is my 3rd child and i was quite a relaxed mother , i did my own thing sometimes and kept her off if i felt she needed a rest and at the beginning i did not send her to nursery 5 days a week.
Not sure if that was approved of but she's my child and i know whats best ,3/4 is a very young age to start the many years of education .
She has never had any issues -so far in secondary school .

My 8 year old has a 31st August birthday and we didn't defer. It was 100% the right decision for her. She is academically able and her best friend is a year older (September 3rd born). She is also hyper aware of who is in what school year and where they should be and I really don't think she'd appreciate that we decided to hold her back a year!

Mine is a mid August baby and didn't defer.
Mentally she was more than ready for school, socially she struggled. Bizarrely, her closest friends were also the youngest in the year.
At 14 she was diagnosed with ASD, so that will have affected her socially.

I do think it depends on the child... I deferred my 5 year old who was born at 11.45 on the 31st of august! His older brother is summer born although not as late and didn't even consider deferring him, this was the correct the decision as he is academically ahead and thriving. His younger brother definitely needed that extra time. The only issue is socially he felt a little ahead of the younger ones which he struggled with, but that would be the case of the eldest in the year V the youngest anyway, and I can see it's already starting to even out.