Do most of people promise their children cash payments in exchange for good GCSE grades?

[Theodoraalways]

My son has been coming home from school recently talking about his friends getting £100 payment for each grade 9 in their upcoming GCSE….not only that, he has been harassing me relentlessly about me paying him, too. The only response I get from him when asking why should anyone pay their child to do well in school at any time is that “everyone does it!” and so should I!
He has predicted 9’s in all his 10 GCSE subjects and has been found to be exceptionally talented in all his subjects by his teachers since he started secondary grammar school. That is what makes it even more shocking for me that someone so highly intelligent (he has chosen to test his IQ through school in Year 8 and the result was 162) could be putting monetary value to his efforts in school.
He is our only child and has been loved and looked after unlike many unfortunate children I read about. We do go on holiday every summer to Italy or Greece for 5-6 weeks, stay in luxury accommodation (villa or apartment), he has several hobbies outside school which we pay for, we always bought him masses of presents for his birthdays and Christmas, lots of books throughout the year, we try to install decent human values into him, we saved nicely for him into his Child Trust Fund account, he has never wanted for anything - we bought him most of the things he asked for over the years….
Am I wrong in thinking that no child should be promised money in order to succeed in school? I cry when I read some young people saying to their parents they do not wish any money for their grades, it is their achievement that motivates them…Am I wrong in thinking we should be celebrating his achievements by buying him a present and going out for a meal, rather than be putting a price for his grades in advance?

My eldest is a couple of years off yet, but I won't reward results, never have. When my children did their 11+, instrument grading etc. I take them to a restaurant of their choice on the day, go shopping and get them some treats. I'll take them out the day after their last exam and spoil them, but absolutely not based on grades.

We always reward effort over results.

Exactly!

My dc worked hard and both got into excellent Universities. They feel proud and happy about themselves.

We offered new trainers and a tech fleece trackie.

This can be a good strategy to motivate i.m.e. say those 'boys' who would otherwise tend to do the minimum and coast. It gives them an incentive to put more effort in, rather than just enough. They can do their computer gaming all holidays once the exams are over!
It's horses for courses though and absolutely not appropriate nor affordable for all children.

He has predicted 9’s in all his 10 GCSE subjects and has been found to be exceptionally talented in all his subjects by his teachers

Op, if your son is such a genius, then surely it will be very easy to achieve too grades. So why reward him for so little effort??

Yep I did it. He needed motivating. Desperate times and all that!

But OP your son sounds like a gifted hardworking genius so you won't need to stump up any cash for him to get good grades. Lucky you.

Top grades (sorry)

I didn't.

My parents paid me for every A grade 20 years ago...

Absolutely not.
Although I did buy my son a pair of Paul Smith socks 🧦 when he got his first at uni to wear to his graduation 👨‍🎓
Paying him to study never crossed my mind.

No promise of money or anything. Just constant encouragement. Predicted grades are 5-9, so not too worried.

We didn’t.

Mine were given something they wanted for putting in the effort. Not for the results

I dont like this, the grades are the reward.

Agreed- always reward input, not results. I find the idea of effectively paying them for results awful- if they have worked hard and put in the effort, that’s what they should be proud of.

But their grades are the reward. Why do they need any more?

Well, has it occurred to you that employers and society reward on results rather than effort. Nothing to stop you as a parent also rewarding effort if the results do not materialise but an employer won't.

Same reason you wouldn't want to go to work for zero.

Rubbish analogy. Your employers pay you to work because you work for them. Your work benefits them. Whereas going to school and getting good grades is for the sole benefit of the child, so why would they need to be paid to do it? Bribery is not a good way of learning motivation.

Um, no, not paying for grades - haven't with any of mine. The reward for their hard work is getting the best results that they can.

Nice meal to celebrate once the exams finish, and another on results day.

But I can see why some parents will choose to pay. If it helps your dc to achieve, why not?

That's why parents should not pay for either effort or reward.

The rewards for their efforts are the grades and the university place! That's enough incentive imo.

Employers pay their employees for going to work, for showing up every day and putting in the effort. Regardless of what grades they get, the majority of our children will join the workforce, in a role appropriate to their skill set. We don't only pay the people who get the 'top jobs'

And yes, a nice meal to celebrate any occasion is always appropriate and fun!

Actually, I think all the research indicates that performance related pay isn't effective in improving performance, so while you obviously do need to pay people a salary for them to show up, paying them more doesn't necessarily make them work harder.

We didn't and it isn't something I've ever really liked.
For me, children shouldn't need financial reward for getting grades. The grades are the reward.

We chose to reward effort. Dd was treated in may half term for the effort she had put into her studies and exams during GCSEs, well before grades were received.

A levels were cancelled for her due to covid so it didn't really come up again.

I know some people like to do it but it's not something we felt was right.

Short answer - no.

Long Answer - DS wants to go to university so he needs to study at A level in sixth form. In order to get on the A level courses he needs good grades in GCSEs in those subject. That's DS's motivation. If he passes he gets on the A levels (and hopefully then into university). If he doesn't he has to resit. That's it.

If DS needs paying or rewarding for passing exams that he NEEDS to pass in order to realise his dreams, then he's not really committed to the university course he desperately wants to do is he?