Do most of people promise their children cash payments in exchange for good GCSE grades?

[Theodoraalways]

My son has been coming home from school recently talking about his friends getting £100 payment for each grade 9 in their upcoming GCSE….not only that, he has been harassing me relentlessly about me paying him, too. The only response I get from him when asking why should anyone pay their child to do well in school at any time is that “everyone does it!” and so should I!
He has predicted 9’s in all his 10 GCSE subjects and has been found to be exceptionally talented in all his subjects by his teachers since he started secondary grammar school. That is what makes it even more shocking for me that someone so highly intelligent (he has chosen to test his IQ through school in Year 8 and the result was 162) could be putting monetary value to his efforts in school.
He is our only child and has been loved and looked after unlike many unfortunate children I read about. We do go on holiday every summer to Italy or Greece for 5-6 weeks, stay in luxury accommodation (villa or apartment), he has several hobbies outside school which we pay for, we always bought him masses of presents for his birthdays and Christmas, lots of books throughout the year, we try to install decent human values into him, we saved nicely for him into his Child Trust Fund account, he has never wanted for anything - we bought him most of the things he asked for over the years….
Am I wrong in thinking that no child should be promised money in order to succeed in school? I cry when I read some young people saying to their parents they do not wish any money for their grades, it is their achievement that motivates them…Am I wrong in thinking we should be celebrating his achievements by buying him a present and going out for a meal, rather than be putting a price for his grades in advance?

Why? Bribery as a means of parenting is gross.

I think a got a Jack Wills jumper, back when they were cool 🤣 £100 per exam is wild.

I personally wouldn't want to use it as an incentive, but if I saw that they had tried really hard throughout the process I would probably give them some money in an envelope on results day.
Your son needs to accept that lots of kids will get various things he may find unfair. His holidays are probably seen as unfair to a lot of other kids. It's all relative and the sooner he realises nobody is equal, the better.

No, but if I thought it would make a difference I might offer it. But it wouldn't.

Nope. Not a thing here.

But I guess if people are paying for grade 9s, you have a certain demographic of parents anyway. The vast majority of students at my DC's school get none.

I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but your post rather suggests that you think people who don't take their children on luxury holiday for several weeks each year, give them masses of presents and save into their child trust funds are not loved and looked after. So perhaps your son does equate "love" with material things?

DD came home after getting her results last year and asked how much she was getting as the going rate was £100 per 9, £50 per 8, £25 per 7 etc. Would have been £800
When I finished laughing....I told her she needed better negotiation skills as these things need to be in contract beforehand.
(She didn't really expect it, she knew we don't work like that but thought it was worth a try!)

I did it as an incentive as I think I would’ve worked harder if I’d had it! 15/16 is a difficult age to really feel motivated, particularly through covid which my kids were. They won’t get incentives for a levels though, they’ve got their own rewards getting into their uni of choice.

What's where you go on holiday got to do with anything?

Work places pay a reward (salary) for work and some pay bonus for achieving particular targets. I’m not sure if we’ll do it for our kids or not ( because of the impact of different kids doing differently and how they’ll feel if they don’t do as well as expected) but as a concept, financial incentives are well established for adults.

I think paying for grades sends a weird message that their grades are more important to you than they are to them.

DD is the one who will need good grades for her future, I've already got mine! So I don't understand why I would pay her for each grade 9 that she achieves. I want her to do well, but for her sake, not mine, and it's important that she understands that.

Wtaf. This is not even a vaguely stealth brag post. It's full on 'look at me and what I do for my precociously talented child, god forbid I stoop to the level of unfortunate children's parents who so obviously can't afford my lifestyle' post.
I reward effort not results, so if I offer money/incentives to encourage my not as gifted/motivated child it is to get them to put the work in to actually revise for things, especially those they don't find as easy/interesting.

The GCSE grades are their own reward because it's their future.

We didn't reward DD for grades but we did plan a special holiday as something to look forward to and serve as a distraction from exam stress. I guess we rewarded her for effort rather than grades.

We gave her the task of choosing where we went with the proviso that it wasn't the Southern Hemisphere (winter) nor any where near where we normally holiday. She chose Japan. We saved for 2 years so when we went we had enough money not to feel restricted. We also went for 3 weeks rather than our usual 2.

Fantastic holiday all told. Plus she forgot to stress about grades in the excitement.

Same reason you wouldn't want to go to work for zero. My parents had the same reaction as you. But I'd be tempted to do it for my kids.

That's a rubbish analogy though. You're not planning to pay your children for going to school regardless of how well they do.
This is more like getting a work bonus for being a high performer.

My older sister cleaned up, got paid loads for doing well in exams. I got nothing 4 years later, I did well but no one cared.

Absolutely not, we expect them to do their best at school as a matter of course there never has been or will be a financial incentive, the reward for good GCSE’s is a place in 6th form to study the a levels they want, the reward for A levels is a place at their uni of choice.

I'm getting my DD a Lego set as a reward for working hard. She is naturally quite bright and driven to do well and She is predicted 8/9 anyway. I am also aware her sister is not as naturally bright and has some sen and so will in all likelihood not get those grades even if she worked just as hard. This way levels the playing field for effort not attainment.

For her mocks I promised her 1p a grade and a whole £ for a nine. She was actually quite happy with that!

She doesn't know about the Lego set!

No I don't think I would do this as a bribe /motivator but of course afterwards we would celebrate good results and that might involve a gift or treat of some sort.

GCSE revision was torture here. DD got a pair of boots she'd been coveting after her last exam as a "You've worked relatively hard" and a "Thank fuck that's done" present. No cash for grades here.

Absolutely not!

It sends the wrong signal. Getting excellent grades is their reward! Getting into College or University is their reward.

I'm truly shocked that some parents do this..?!

Never got anything, but lots of friends did - and they knew in advance what they’d be getting as parents used it as a motivation. Same for music exams, dance exams etc. I didn’t want anything though, it was always about the personal satisfaction for me.

I did unexpectedly very well at masters level, which was a huge surprise to pretty much everyone. That day my dad came home from work with a bottle of champagne. First time I’d ever had champagne in my life and I was 21yo.

But the reward for your work are your grades!!

This was a thing when I did my GCSEs is 2001. My parents didn't do it and I was cross about that but as an adult I get why. And I won't be doing it for mine.

You’ve made a very long list of reasons why your son expects money for his exam results in your OP. Re read your post if you’re not sure how he has become materialistic.