Do most of people promise their children cash payments in exchange for good GCSE grades?

[Theodoraalways]

My son has been coming home from school recently talking about his friends getting £100 payment for each grade 9 in their upcoming GCSE….not only that, he has been harassing me relentlessly about me paying him, too. The only response I get from him when asking why should anyone pay their child to do well in school at any time is that “everyone does it!” and so should I!
He has predicted 9’s in all his 10 GCSE subjects and has been found to be exceptionally talented in all his subjects by his teachers since he started secondary grammar school. That is what makes it even more shocking for me that someone so highly intelligent (he has chosen to test his IQ through school in Year 8 and the result was 162) could be putting monetary value to his efforts in school.
He is our only child and has been loved and looked after unlike many unfortunate children I read about. We do go on holiday every summer to Italy or Greece for 5-6 weeks, stay in luxury accommodation (villa or apartment), he has several hobbies outside school which we pay for, we always bought him masses of presents for his birthdays and Christmas, lots of books throughout the year, we try to install decent human values into him, we saved nicely for him into his Child Trust Fund account, he has never wanted for anything - we bought him most of the things he asked for over the years….
Am I wrong in thinking that no child should be promised money in order to succeed in school? I cry when I read some young people saying to their parents they do not wish any money for their grades, it is their achievement that motivates them…Am I wrong in thinking we should be celebrating his achievements by buying him a present and going out for a meal, rather than be putting a price for his grades in advance?

We didn't.
I never did as a child either.

Yes, I have paid for passes for all my 3 kids. £500 each for maths and English and £100 for each additional pass at other subjects.

Wow, I remember my daughter telling me this too, luckily, she understood that she was the one who would benefit from good results. She never asked me for money to do well.

My son is not a hard worker, but I will not pay him to try. If he doesn't do well that is on him :-/

Does your son want to do well? Is there a goal he's motivated to work hard for?

No way I don’t think it’s right.

eh... I wouldn't even be getting them a present 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Achievement needs to be driven internally and I don't think that kind of reward is actually helpful!

We did but as a very last resort to just get DS through the exams. He went through an awful time during exams and we had to have a big carrot to get him through. We wouldn’t have done under normal circumstances, but we’ve now set a precedent so will have to do the same for his siblings.

Lots of DC get paid around here for grades, merit points, goals scored etc. I haven't done that because I can't afford to but also getting the grade should be the reward by itself.

I'm also still cross about my DM offering to pay my DBro insane amounts of money for anything C and above at GCSE and nothing for me as I would actually get some of those grades. Tsk.

Hahaha
No way.

Nope, never did this. The pass should be the goal for the child. They pass or fail on their own effort. Self reliance is a valuable skill.

I would.

Not to use as a motivation but as a reward for their efforts.

For someone who wouldn't even be told well done after an achievement, it was a good acknowledgement of the hard work I had done.

No we wouldn’t have dreamed of paying, it would totally undermine their motivation and it to me belittles education. It’s fantastic your DC is doing so brilliantly and I would appeal to his intelligence to see through how shallow and short term this approach is so he doesn't feel so hard dine by and understands your thinking.

Absolutely not. What if the most your DC could aim for was a 5, is that only worth 45 quid? (I know your ds is predicted 9s OP but in general).

I think his grandparents may have sent him some money to say congratulations when his results came out but there was no cash incentive and there never would be. I'd just call his bluff and tell him he wants to do less well than he can because he won't get paid for it, that's up to him.

I tried it with my son in desperation (didn't work). My daughter I didn't need to.

No we didn't ... but I suppose I paid a lot more than that in private tuition to get him through his grades .

DC always say 'everyone does it' 'all DPs buy their DC a brand new iPhone, pay for driving lessons, buy the latest designer trainers' etc etc just take it with a pinch of salt and say 'that's nice dear'.

Umm, no, I suppose it's considered a last ditch attempt appealing to their children though.

I got £10 an A in the 90s.

He has done exceptionally well in all his subjects since he started primary school…. he has no “weak” subject, he wants to study Economics with Maths and History, he wants to do well and he does it without having to be nagged, he does not appreciate me trying to help him in any subjects…

Over the years on MN I have seen different approaches

• some people pay by grade
• some people pay by target grade achieved/exceeded
• most people don't do 'cash for grades'
• some people reward revision effort
• some/most do something on results day, e.g. nice meal

I don't like pay per grade, especially if there are siblings of different ability. And imagine working really hard, then not getting the grades, not only do you not have desired grades, you miss out on the cash too.

Nope.

I didn't pay but my kids had learners insurance on a car, driving lessons and later their own car which is £££.

My parents didn't but my godparents did. They said £50 for each GCSE A*-C. I wasn't aware of other friends getting the same thing, but then again I never mentioned it to anyone I don't think (it was a while ago now).

My godparents did it as an incentive to me, I think they really really wanted me to do well and money talks to kids who don't know the value of good grades which I certainly didn't. It worked for me tbf. But, I never expected it.

No I absolutely hate this. Learning should be its own reward. Putting a monetary value on intelligence (well, the ability to pass exams) is bizarre.
Everyone does better in some subjects than others, when you put a cash value on a grade in a subject they struggle with you are penalising them for something they can’t help.

I'd reward for effort and for improving grades.
If I gave DS £1000 for each grade 9, I'd be none the poorer, but if I gave him something for improving and for working hard, then that's our choice as a family.
I'd like him to know that I value his efforts and how much work he has put in, when it's clearly not something that comes naturally to him.

What kind of present would you buy him? How is that different to actually giving him money?

2006 and I got £50 per A* wasn't motivation as such as I was expected to get 10 but was a nice present. We intend doing it with DS at Alevel as we would give him the cash anyway but hope it helps with motivation when he's fed up.

No! DS predicted good grades (mix of 6-9). The subjects he is likely to get 6 in is the one he has worked hardest for. I am so proud of him, and really hope his grades reflect his hard work. But no cash for grades here. No cash for housework either.