I went part time. I work 80% FTE, but I start early, and spread my hours so I have 3 short days (when I am available for school pick up and extra-curricular activities) and 2 long days, when we use after-school club. My colleague works compressed hours, so has 2 days off per week, which is an opposite, but equally effective approach to flexing hours, if you are lucky enough to be able to do so.
My husband drops off at breakfast club on his way to work each day. However, we are lucky to live within a stone's throw of school, so it doesn't take him off his normal commute.
Over time, a couple of the breakfast and after-school sessions have been replaced by extra-curricular things at school. However, I would counsel against relying on these as a replacement for wraparound care, as if they are cancelled, then you are stuck.
Emergency leave is covered by whichever parent has the less urgent commitment that day.
For school holidays, we have a couple of family holidays each year, and then we take turns to cover whatever we can until our leave runs out. We've joined together with local friends to share ferrying children to summer camps for the remaining weeks. No family support available. There is an entitlement for unpaid parental leave, which is something like 1 week per child per year up to the age of 18 and must be taken in 1 week blocks. I am thinking about asking to use this from this year onwards, which will help, as currently it feels we have so little time to actually spend together as a family.
It's tight, but it works as long as we are both around. The ability for my husband to WFH when needed has helped a lot.
Other friends use a nanny, which takes time pressures off a little as you can agree with them hours longer than wraparound care at school, and solves the need for ferrying around to an after-school club. We went for nursery then breakfast/after-school club as they tend not to get cancelled if one member of staff is unwell or has an emergency, so less risky in this way than a nanny (as everyone gets sick now and then).
I would echo all the comments above about letting your little one have time to settle in at school before worrying about introducing new extra-curricular activities. My daughter was at nursery from 9 months old, and would be out of the house for over 12 hours every day. I thought she would therefore be fine with the relatively short school days. I was surprised to hear that she took herself off for an afternoon nap every day until just before the October half term in her Foundation year. They do find the new environment and learning tiring!
Also have boundaries around extra-curriculars. My daughter knows that nothing else can be taken up now unless something else is dropped...unless it happens at school at a time that she would be at breakfast club or after-school club anyway.
And don't feel guilty about school special events. If it is possible to move things around so I can attend, I will do so, but we are all in the mindset that it is a lucky treat if Mummy or Daddy can be at the Nativity or Sports Day. From little clips that friends have sent me, I can see that my daughter isn't anxiously looking expectantly into the sea of parents, and then crying when she can't see us.
The biggest bit of advice that I can give is that good enough is good enough. I often feel that I am not doing the best possible job I can do at work, or as a parent, or running the household. But doing a good job for all of these is better than doing the best job at one of them.