Do private schools give bursaries/scholarships to parents with decent salaries?

[Alyosha]

I feel certain that the answer to this will be "no" but wanted to check.

We have two DS, 3 and 3 months. We both have good jobs, joint salary is over £100k, very comfortable and we have no complaints about our standard of living. We live in London, where private school fees seem to have gone absolutely nuts. I went to SHHS which was £9k pa by time I left in 2007; so very expensive but would be just about affordable for me & DH for 2 DCs. Occasionally they send me a begging letter asking me to donate for their fund to build a world class music centre...can't say I'm too motivated to donate now their fees are pushing £20k pa.

I can't see any way that we could afford school fees for both boys in 2- 3 year's time even with our good incomes. But looking at the support available it's only if you're earning under £80k. But there's no way I would have thought a family jointly earning £80k could afford £20k in school fees for 2 children (£40k net a year!) with mortgage, council tax, utilities, groceries etc.

So our only option would be a scholarship, but most scholarships seem to be 20% max off fees, which doesn't make them affordable, especially not long term. Is there anywhere that has substantial fee remission for a scholarship in commuting distance of North London, either primary or secondary?

This is of course assuming the DCs would even get scholarships, which I realise is a tall order!

There’s definitely a sense of entitlement - ‘oh but I was privately educated so I simply cannot consider otherwise for my own children’

If I posted saying I couldn’t afford private school for my child because I earn £20k, I would be laughed out of the place.

Either you can afford it or you can’t 🤷🏼‍♀️ being wealthier but still not rich enough doesn’t qualify you for anything.

Sorry OP you do sound rather entitled

If you want to save for secondary you probably do have time if you can save the equivalent of nursery fees so you have a buffer. That would mean an active choice to prioritise future fees over holidays etc. you could probably afford it if you were only paying one set of fees at a time.

Eg assuming 3 school years difference with your age gap

Start saving hard once child 1 is in year 3 and child 2 in reception which would give you 4x years to try and save a lump sum covering the cost of fees for when you’d be paying for 2 children.

@DietrichandDiMaggio that's kind of odd, because a lot of posters are in disbelief that I can't afford it. I don't think I'm entitled but then I wouldn't, we're all the heroes of our own stories.

I don't think many people are in disbelief that you can't afford it. I think some people have suggested that if you really wanted to prioritise it, you could afford it, but you would have to sacrifice other things. I don't think anyone thinks that it's possible to have a nice London house (large mortgage), new cars, annual foreign holidays, expensive hobbies etc. and fund private education for 2 children on £100k.

I honestly don't think most couples earning £100K (you say over, but presumably not by much) in London even consider private education is within their budget.

@senua very philosophical.
You need to be philosophical because times have changed. Half the population get degrees these days, they are not as exclusive as they used to be. Why do you want to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds getting to pretty much the same level as a huge chunk of other people who got there for free? It's not a good investment.

Isn't it cheaper for you to have a nanny than two kids at nursery? It is for us in London. Also much less stressful not having to get them up and out in the morning and having their washing etc done.

Why do you want to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds getting to pretty much the same level as a huge chunk of other people who got there for free? It's not a good investment.

Tbf the OP doesn’t want to pay …

(It’s a wonderful investment if you’re fortunate with scholarships and bursaries.)

[quote senua]**@senua very philosophical.
You need to be philosophical because times have changed. Half the population get degrees these days, they are not as exclusive as they used to be. Why do you want to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds getting to pretty much the same level as a huge chunk of other people who got there for free? It's not a good investment.[/quote]
This is so so true

I think private schools survive because there are plenty of people these days that inherit from their home-owning parents at about the time their children reach secondary. £250k from an estate covers school fees for 2 kids regardless of household income.

I hate to sound harsh but I think you are being highly unrealistic. You cannot afford this at all at the moment, let alone comfortably. You could do it but it would probably need to entail some of the following:

• overpaying your mortgage and selling your house later, buying a cheap house out of London and using the capital to pay the fees
• starting a business on top of work or another job and saving relentlessly
• becoming highly ambitious in your career
• drastically cutting spending and increasing saving now, choosing cheaper and second hand things, even living as if broke

If you want this to happen you will have to work very hard for it.

@senua you are not really buying education, you're buying accent, peers and class markers.

@Glassofshloer but I haven't said that? I am OK with state education but would prefer private school; I'm well aware I can't afford it - which is why I started this thread! It's for ideas on how to afford it and I've had some useful tips.

@Isthisthereaklife lol fair enough..I suppose it's the "I should be able to afford it vibe.

@DietrichandDiMaggio err..who mentioned new cars, foreign holidays, and expensive hobbies??? Don't have any of those. Do have big mortgage though but unavoidable in London.

@Bunnycat101 yes will save hard and then we will have options, perhaps the boys will end up musical geniuses :D

@KaleJuicer cheers - useful info. Which instrument?

@senua think for people like me (average) it's a great investment, unfair leg up that gets you into uni and helps beyond that. You all say entitled, I say obnoxiously confident

I think I find it galling that private schools themselves seem unable to admit that their education is unaffordable even to those who are very well off, which surely isn't any good for their long term health!

You are misunderstanding the current intake at to London indies. It isn’t doctors’ and accountants’ kids any more, it is city lawyers and rich overseas kids.

Part of this is due to exploding housing costs - my consultant colleagues in their 50s and 60s sent their kids to private school, those of us in our 30s and 40s can’t afford it, because the houses my colleagues bought for £300k in 2005 are now worth £1.3m. There is a real generational divide.

OP, your earnings are astronomical. Mine are less than half of yours. Yes, it is perfectly possible to put your children through private school if you really want to. However, you will have to do a lot of research, and prioritise this over absolutely everything else (and I mean you might have to move, if you're not willing to let them board - boarding schools give far better scholarships and bursaries than day schools). XH and I have almost finished with school fees, thank God. The funny thing is that I would raise an eyebrow if someone were to say they'd spent 6k on a holiday (along the lines of how can anyone afford that?) - but it's a drop in the ocean compared to school fees. You just have to focus on school fees and ways to reduce/spread them all the bloody time. Your lifestyle also takes a massive hit, so you'd have to be prepared for that (cheap food, no car, no holidays, no meals out, no days out, no redecorating etc, etc). I think it's worth it, but you might not. The very fact that you would even consider state schools (which I was never going to do) is already a marker that you might well not!

@squee123 no way would a nanny be cheaper for 50 weeks a year full time childcare 8am-530pm. And we work from home too.

@Unsure1983 the entire thread is based on me knowing it's unaffordable so don't feel harsh. If we want it, it will involve sacrifices. Think we will save and then either way we will have options, depending on what schools are like in 8 years' time.

Yes, you aren't earning enough to pay for both boys. I went to a private secondary school. I had a good education but we had no money /car / holidays. I met DH at uni on the same course. He went to an excellent comp, got the same results and uni place. He had a comfortable childhood with car/ holidays etc. Even though we are much higher earners than my parents were, because of the fee rises, it would have been too much to sacrifice to send our kids to private school. If you go for state education then you can add all the frills on separately.

@BoardingSchoolMater yeah don't think we are dedicated enough - London state schools are pretty good right now. I want to keep the option open for later on though in case they are not.

Private primaries are unnecessary unless your priority is social segregation. But there's a lot more value for money at senior level.

Your kids are only tiny and there's plenty of good private schools with fees under £20k pa and plenty of families in London who live on a lot less than £100k pa joint income.

Living well and comfortably within your means requires management of expectations no matter whether you are on a bog standard average income or are way above average income. Anywhere on the income spectrum you can overspend and expect more than you can afford or you can be frugal and have money left over.

All you need to do is start pretending right now that your joint income is only £80k pa. Adjust your expectations and lifestyle to match. You will still be way wealthier than many many families so you won't starve or have no treats. Put all the difference into savings. Let your kids go to state primaries.

In 8 years time when your eldest reaches secondary school you can direct the portion of your income that you have been saving into school fees instead. You probably won't even need to dip into the savings. 3 years later when DC 2 reaches secondary age you'll have a few years paying double fees and will need to spend the savings. Then DC1 will go to uni (and parental contribution to uni maintenance is WAY lower than school fees) and you will be living within your income again.

@BoardingSchoolMater

OP, your earnings are astronomical. Mine are less than half of yours. Yes, it is perfectly possible to put your children through private school if you really want to. However, you will have to do a lot of research, and prioritise this over absolutely everything else (and I mean you might have to move, if you're not willing to let them board - boarding schools give far better scholarships and bursaries than day schools). XH and I have almost finished with school fees, thank God. The funny thing is that I would raise an eyebrow if someone were to say they'd spent 6k on a holiday (along the lines of how can anyone afford that?) - but it's a drop in the ocean compared to school fees. You just have to focus on school fees and ways to reduce/spread them all the bloody time. Your lifestyle also takes a massive hit, so you'd have to be prepared for that (cheap food, no car, no holidays, no meals out, no days out, no redecorating etc, etc). I think it's worth it, but you might not. The very fact that you would even consider state schools (which I was never going to do) is already a marker that you might well not!

Your husband must earn a lot if you earn under £50k and have children at boarding school

If you are in london I assume you are paying £8-10 an hour for childcare per child. Doesn’t that make a nanny cheaper?!

Most people I know with two kids opt for a nanny - unless one child is in the 15free hours/30 free hours a week year.

They give discounts on fees for children with particular talent - as in sports and other fields.

@Thinking2041 but nannies are more expensive than that I think? You are paying their national insurance, holiday pay sick pay etc. No cover if they are ill. We looked at it but it was more expensive.

@BoardingSchoolMater very much not into boarding but assuming you get a big bursary for the high fees?

I doubt you'll get a bursary with that salary but I guess it depends on the school.

Fees at my eldest's school are £20k. We earn under £48k combined and receive a 50% bursary. Anyone earning over £60k will be laughed out the door and bursary point blank refused.

For a gross £12k difference? Seems harsh.