Do private schools give bursaries/scholarships to parents with decent salaries?

[Alyosha]

I feel certain that the answer to this will be "no" but wanted to check.

We have two DS, 3 and 3 months. We both have good jobs, joint salary is over £100k, very comfortable and we have no complaints about our standard of living. We live in London, where private school fees seem to have gone absolutely nuts. I went to SHHS which was £9k pa by time I left in 2007; so very expensive but would be just about affordable for me & DH for 2 DCs. Occasionally they send me a begging letter asking me to donate for their fund to build a world class music centre...can't say I'm too motivated to donate now their fees are pushing £20k pa.

I can't see any way that we could afford school fees for both boys in 2- 3 year's time even with our good incomes. But looking at the support available it's only if you're earning under £80k. But there's no way I would have thought a family jointly earning £80k could afford £20k in school fees for 2 children (£40k net a year!) with mortgage, council tax, utilities, groceries etc.

So our only option would be a scholarship, but most scholarships seem to be 20% max off fees, which doesn't make them affordable, especially not long term. Is there anywhere that has substantial fee remission for a scholarship in commuting distance of North London, either primary or secondary?

This is of course assuming the DCs would even get scholarships, which I realise is a tall order!

@Alyosha

We are saving! But it's eaten up by my mat leave at the moment. Then we will continue to save but reduced potential as we will have 2 in full time nursery ( ££££ in London). Don't think we will be able to save enough for long term sustainable private school fees.

How much are your nursery fees? Remember that you will no longer have that expense once your kids go to primary school. That money became our savings.

Either way, stash money away, snd play things by ear. You have a few years to prepare/ decide by the sound of it

@Sopsmum I would actually like a 3rd, if we did have 3 that would bury the private school idea for good I think. Or maybe not?? Perhaps it would actually make it more likely that you could get bursaries - although none of the private school websites I've looked at mentioned no. of kids.

Where are you if you don't mind me asking that you get 25% off?

I have to say although I of course think my sons are very bright (well as bright as a 3 year old and 3 month old can be) I don't think they are genius level!

NC but one of my children is on a 50% scholarship. Non means tested. At our school, average scholarships are 10-20%.

"I think I find it galling that private schools themselves seem unable to admit that their education is unaffordable even to those who are very well off, which surely isn't any good for their long term health!"

They're a business, they know what they're doing. Organisations don't come out and say they're unaffordable, why would they? Enough people earn high enough wages and £40k is a drop in the ocean to some.

@courtshoe I keep forgetting that! You're completely right. If we keep saving we will have a very substantial cushion by time the kids reach secondary school age. Think we will have to do as you say and see what the situation is in a few years' time.

[quote Alyosha]@changingchanges2 sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear in the original message. I was asking if there are any schools at all that have scholarships with a significant amount of fee remittance. Do you know of any?[/quote]

Oh I see! Full fee academic scholarships are pretty rare these days and quite convoluted.

The academic scholarships at Eton for example are subject to the full fee and need to apply for a bursary separately for any discount.

Like PP said, these days scholarships make only a small dent in the fees, but they're still worth going for it if you think your DS's are capable of winning one! Good luck OP. We are going down the private route and the fees are fucking extortion 😭

@mnp321 ooh where is that if you don't mind me asking?
@qpmz well they're not businesses are they, they are charities. supposedly!

Unfortunately I can't name the school but it's in outer London.

Why?

Why are you running yourself into the ground to get your DC on the treadmill so that they can run themselves into the ground for their DC. Ad infinitum.

@Alyosha the stats on performance aren’t controlled though are they? Who is to say it’s the private school vs the parents? Maybe you can make some general assumptions about private school parents & family life and support - and if those assumptions applied to a child at a good state school, they would do just as well and probably be as likely to get into the best unis. There are many factors at play.

@senua

Why?

Why are you running yourself into the ground to get your DC on the treadmill so that they can run themselves into the ground for their DC. Ad infinitum.

You’re the only other person I have seen express this sentiment! It’s baffling isn’t it.

[quote Alyosha]**@mewkins I feel like you're implying something but can't quite work out what. Could you make it a bit clearer please?

@Glassofshloer it most definitely is sadly. Even grammar schools don't really get near what private schools do in terms of % admitted. And then when kids leave university, private school kids with worse results do better than state school kids with excellent marks.[/quote]
I only went to a comprehensive, but am perfectly able to infer what @mewkins is implying, as are most other posters, I'm sure.

You seem to have a sense of entitlement that your children should be able to go to private school, because that's what your parents provided for you, despite all the evidence pointing to the fact that you do not earn enough money to afford it.

I think private schools do offer something extra though; you can see that in terms of how they are (unfairly) advantaged over state school kids through university & after too.

While we're aware that school has provided a very good standard of education and support for our kids, being at a private school can be quite a disadvantage for Uni applications. I know of friends who've moved their kids to state sixth forms for that reason.

I think if you wanted to go to private you would have had to stop at 1, then it is doable. However it does mean giving up luxuries like nice cars, smaller house, no/reduced holidays etc etc and it is amazing how early the kids notice the difference from their school mates lives. I think you would be much better going for state and living comfortably and being able to give them other things.

@Clymene

No, 'most people these days' are not more wealthy than you. A very small proportion are. 6% of children are at private school. The vast majority go to state school and do well because engaged supportive parents make a huge contribution to education. Your children lives won't be ruined if they have to mix with poor children.

Exactly Your dc don't have to go to private school to do well in life

But if you want to prioritise private education
Move to a smaller property etc

yes, some schools will give bursaries up to £120k household income but they look closely at assets etc. Clearly you can't privately educate 2 kids on a gross income of £100k.

@senua very philosophical. I attribute my comfortable lifestyle to my comfortable upbringing, and I would like my children to get an unfair advantage in life, like I had.

@DietrichandDiMaggio that's kind of odd, because a lot of posters are in disbelief that I can't afford it. I don't think I'm entitled but then I wouldn't, we're all the heroes of our own stories.

I dislike snide comments and I would rather people came out with what they think. So thanks :D

@pianolessons1 please do tell which schools are these :D

scholarships are not means tested - they are awards for strong performers that the school wants. We were offered 20 - 50% by various schools for academic and sports scholarships.

Outstanding kids can get more than this.

[quote Alyosha]@senua very philosophical. I attribute my comfortable lifestyle to my comfortable upbringing, and I would like my children to get an unfair advantage in life, like I had.

@DietrichandDiMaggio that's kind of odd, because a lot of posters are in disbelief that I can't afford it. I don't think I'm entitled but then I wouldn't, we're all the heroes of our own stories.

I dislike snide comments and I would rather people came out with what they think. So thanks :D[/quote]
But your parents forking out for private school hasn’t really made a return, in that you can’t afford it for your own kids? It can’t be that comfortable if you’re starting threads for scrimping ideas.

I understand your view, and get that actually your salaries seem large but take home not reflective of the big 100k thing. Everyone will jump on us for this, but tax, NI and location costs of earning this is outrageous.
I would ( and am) put money into tuition and move to an area with good grammars. I went to a posh school, did nothing for me really- some good connections, but my stellar big ticket friends were and are clever kids from state school. I think you need a really good reason to " pay" for education now, and if its just because your neighbors do it, then enjoy the debt and ingratitude!!

You should have started a savings plan years ago if you wanted your DCs privately educated.

Bursaries and scholarships are different.

Bursaries are designed to help talented children take up places where their parents cannot afford the fees. They will be means tested but the level varies from school to school.

Scholarships are sometimes applied for, and sometimes offered partly on the basis of entrant exam results. Again the level varies from school to school. My daughter has a music scholarship, it was awarded based on her potential as a musician. Our finances were not a factor. We are not in London but I’ve not seen any scholarships in the last few years where a discount of more than 10% has been offered.

Sevenoaks tapers fees for household income up to c£120k.

DD was offered several music scholarships ranging from 10-50% at London schools, no questions about our income.

This thread reminds me of the bursar at my kids’ old prep school telling us how one family reacted in disbelief when they asked for a hardship bursary due to a change in finances and the bursar suggested they might sell their holiday home to afford the fees ..