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Original poster

Non-sporty boarding/day schools

86 replies

boarding23145 · 12/11/2021 13:50

Name-changing as I am a regular poster and this is a bit outing.

DS is currently applying to 13+ schools and as a sporty, academic boy we chose to apply predominantly to boarding schools (Eton, Harrow, Winchester, Tonbridge etc). We also have a few London day schools on the list.

Sadly due to a permanent injury he will no longer be able to play any sports and I feel most boarding schools will not suit him any more. As a very sporty boy, I think it will be traumatic for him to go to a school that places a huge importance on sports where all his friends will be out playing in multiple teams.

Now that our entire list has gone out the window, does anyone have recommendations of weekly boarding/day schools that may suit him?

So far I have:
Winchester
Kings' Canterbury
Reigate
Trinity (?)

OP posts:
LIZS · 12/11/2021 20:58

Reigate is probably more sporty than Trinity. However RGS now offers deferred 13+ entry so if you are beyond year 6 I'm not sure how many additional places would be available. If you already live in the area Caterham might be worth consideration and St Johns Leatherhead.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 12/11/2021 21:55

Thanks - we are not tied to an area. Glad to hear Trinity is not too sporty as I really liked the school. Will check out Caterham and St Johns.

OP posts:
XelaM · 12/11/2021 21:55

I don't think Westminster is very sporty?

Beachcomber74 · 12/11/2021 23:05

Kings Canterbury is sporty. Sorry to hear about your son’s injury.

NeedingCoffee · 13/11/2021 11:51

So sorry if this is insensitive, but are absolutely all sports a no-go? I’m just thinking that at a big enough school there is a lot more on than just football or rugby or cricket. For example if he was able to swim, or play badminton or shoot or play croquet, then some schools have almost as many opportunities for those things. I fully acknowledge that he might still think they are second best, but if he is generally sporty he’ll pick up new sports quickly too?

Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 12:25

Thanks @NeedingCoffee I am not sure at the moment if he can still do solo sports but it does look like all sports that involve running are out. I think low impact sports like shooting/archery/sailing etc might be okay. I think he might be able to pick up new sports absolutely.

What I am trying to avoid is a school with team sports up to team G which means he will be left alone during their training/matches.

OP posts:
Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 12:26

@Beachcomber74

Kings Canterbury is sporty. Sorry to hear about your son’s injury.
Do you know how many teams the school plays? Is it a lot of one sport, say football or rugby?
OP posts:
bravepotatoes · 13/11/2021 13:12

I think you'll struggle to find an indie that really doesn't do much sport, as it's those extras that parents are generally paying for - and particularly at boarding schools where the school is wanting to keep the kids occupied at the weekend. But in your situation, the benefit of an indie/boarding school is going to be that you've got all the other extras as well that your son will be able to get involved in instead of sport (music, drama etc). So perhaps rather than looking for a school that doesn't have much sport (because I would guess they might have less in terms of other facilities as well), you could look for one where academic and non-sporty enrichment activities are valued just as highly. I wonder whether co-ed might be worth a look - less chance of having a 'rugby gods' vibe?

FWIW I've got a non-sporty boy at Sevenoaks. I wouldn't say the school is non-sporty - in that DS does lots of running around team sport, and the teams do go right down to G etc. But there are lots of less mainstream sports options as well (eg shooting, sailing, climbing, swimming, fitness gym etc). And there absolutely isn't a sense of kids who are crap at sport being lesser beings. DS kind of tolerates the sport perfectly happily, but it's the academics and the music and the drama that he's passionate about - and that's absolutely fine. I think if you can find a few schools where the rugby field isn't the be all and end all, then I'm sure you could talk to the school about what the day to day options would be for a boy who can't join in the team sports.

And sorry, as well - the situation must be really tough on your son.

Holidayinginmymind · 13/11/2021 13:23

Trinity has a really strong water polo team. If he is a good swimmer and likes team sports that might be possible? Trinity has strong sports but also really strong music, and I think strong drama and arts, so it has some really sporty boys, and some really unsporty boys, and some who enjoy a mix of things.

LemonWeb · 13/11/2021 13:36

I have to say as a mother with an unsporty ds at one of these schools, I think this is possibly less of an issue than you’d expect. The school make adjustments for boys who can’t play sports and there’s so much going on that there just isn’t a ‘on the sidelines’ issue. That wouldn’t be fair, and they’re not like that. I’m not sure if ds even made it into the G Team, but I know that he has great craic with a crowd of non-sporty kids and he’s able to focus on a minor sport without feeling in any sense left out.

NeedingCoffee · 13/11/2021 13:50

I suggest having a look at the sporting calendars of potential schools (they all use the same system and the website format is usually sport.schoolname.com), to see what’s on on typical Saturdays. As an example of a school on your list, today Winchester has chess, fencing, badminton and basketball as well as football. You can also work out how many boys the X football teams will involve against how many are in the year, and therefore have an idea how many will not be playing competitive sport.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 14:24

@NeedingCoffee

I suggest having a look at the sporting calendars of potential schools (they all use the same system and the website format is usually sport.schoolname.com), to see what’s on on typical Saturdays. As an example of a school on your list, today Winchester has chess, fencing, badminton and basketball as well as football. You can also work out how many boys the X football teams will involve against how many are in the year, and therefore have an idea how many will not be playing competitive sport.
That is a brilliant idea! I will do that, thank you. I will also call up a few schools next week to understand how they cater to boys who can't/won't play.
OP posts:
EssexCat · 13/11/2021 14:28

My son is at Bancroft’s - over on the Essex/London borders (not sure where in London you are). They are most definitely not a sporty school! They play games and have sport on offer but it’s not really a major thing.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 14:42

@Holidayinginmymind

Trinity has a really strong water polo team. If he is a good swimmer and likes team sports that might be possible? Trinity has strong sports but also really strong music, and I think strong drama and arts, so it has some really sporty boys, and some really unsporty boys, and some who enjoy a mix of things.
Sadly the only thing DS hates is swimming! I tried to get him into water polo and diving and he hated those. But yes Trinity does look good for music and drama.
OP posts:
Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 14:42

@EssexCat

My son is at Bancroft’s - over on the Essex/London borders (not sure where in London you are). They are most definitely not a sporty school! They play games and have sport on offer but it’s not really a major thing.
It wasn't on my radar, thank you
OP posts:
PurpleNewt · 13/11/2021 15:33

Sorry about your son's injury

What about Radley? It offers such a huge array of sport as the facilities are incredible and lots of focus on drama, music, debating too. I always notice all my sons friends who went there are truly lovely- it seems to get the slightly more gentle types and does well with them.

When we looked around DS who hates football and rugby. He was sold on the rowing, golf, countryside centre, sailing etc. He ended up going day but was his first choice for boarding.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 15:47

Thank you all - I really hope he will find the courage and motivation to give up his current favourite sports and pick up new ones. I will look into Radley and Sevenoaks as well.

OP posts:
Adarajames · 13/11/2021 16:24

I’m sure as his Mum you are very aware of his mental / emotional state; but just wanted to say he has my every sympathy.

I was older and at uni when I went from being ultra fit and sporty, and doing a sports / dance degree, to being disabled. I also was involved in martial arts and all sorts of dance related styles / companies, training probably 6 or so hours pretty much daily. Even now, I can struggle with the depression the loss of those things I loved caused, and still causes me, so don’t under estimate how much mental health support he may need now and in the longer term, to adjust to the new limitations.

I hope he can find another interest / sport he becomes passionate about (not an option with my disabilities unfortunately). So a school strong on pastoral care is a good start as well

XelaM · 13/11/2021 18:09

Have you discounted Westminster?

XelaM · 13/11/2021 18:13

@boarding23145
I'm so sorry to hear this. i had a colleague who played football in Manchester United's youth academy and was touted for a bright future in football when an injury as a teenager put a complete end to his career. It was a really tough blow, but he rebounced into a successful professional career

Original poster
boarding23145 · 13/11/2021 18:33

@XelaM I think Westminster may be a little too academic for us, but probably worth considering.

Yes I am hoping he will find other interests but sadly everything involves standing up for long periods of time, even choir or drama! The key thing is for us to not make him feel bad about sitting out the team sports by offering other opportunities. And based on everyone’s feedback a lot of schools seem to offer that.

OP posts:
XelaM · 13/11/2021 21:40

Rowing doesn’t involve standing. Would that be an option?

VanCleefArpels · 13/11/2021 21:50

St John’s might be a good fit because they are strong in eg shooting which obviously doesn't need much action but carries with it quite a lot of kudos within the school. But they also offer myriad activities for the criminally un sporty (I had one of these!)

OublietteBravo · 13/11/2021 21:52

My son boards at Bedford School. They have a group of boys who do the main sports each term (rugby, hockey, cricket) and a group of boys who pick other sports to do (lots of options - including things like golf and swimming and fitness - which is basically using the gym equipment). Probably split roughly 50:50, so you don’t really end up with a majority doing team sports. There are lots of other options - their music department seems to be very strong (DS plays trombone and piano).

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 13/11/2021 21:56

Also coming on to ask if rowing an option?