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Original poster

Non-sporty boarding/day schools

86 replies

boarding23145 · 12/11/2021 13:50

Name-changing as I am a regular poster and this is a bit outing.

DS is currently applying to 13+ schools and as a sporty, academic boy we chose to apply predominantly to boarding schools (Eton, Harrow, Winchester, Tonbridge etc). We also have a few London day schools on the list.

Sadly due to a permanent injury he will no longer be able to play any sports and I feel most boarding schools will not suit him any more. As a very sporty boy, I think it will be traumatic for him to go to a school that places a huge importance on sports where all his friends will be out playing in multiple teams.

Now that our entire list has gone out the window, does anyone have recommendations of weekly boarding/day schools that may suit him?

So far I have:
Winchester
Kings' Canterbury
Reigate
Trinity (?)

OP posts:
LIZS · 17/11/2021 17:07

It seems very odd for them to exclude him from pe completely and a concert. Can you speak to Sendco about ways to include him? Can he swim, referee/umpire etc. If he was permanently disabled they would have to accommodate him. If he still has a few years to go can you think about moving him sooner?

KittenKong · 17/11/2021 17:09

@XelaM

I don't think Westminster is very sporty?
It can be - depending on the kid (so you do have county/national sports player) but there are lots of other activities you can choose.
Original poster
boarding23145 · 17/11/2021 18:19

If he was permanently disabled they would have to accommodate him

I think that’s the point, because it’s such a new thing, we don’t even have a Senco involved yet. No one knows how the disabilities will look in the long term. So we haven’t asked anything of the school yet - am certain they will find a way for him to participate once we do.. though it won’t be the same for him as he was playing so competitively before. I have no concerns regarding the current school, I have set up a chat to discuss all this so am sure they will find a way forward. Teenage years are tougher though, and I want to ensure he ends up in the right school without feeling he is missing out on all the fun activities (from his point of view).

OP posts:
LIZS · 17/11/2021 18:50

They need to make "reasonable adjustments" which would include working out how to accommodate his needs and differentiate activities.

Etinoxaurus · 17/11/2021 19:06

Dulwich is very big on rowing. Great choir and they go to great lengths to not lionise the rugby players. There are literally dozens of sports available and more socs.

HighSpeed33 · 18/11/2021 16:15

King’s Canterbury ticks a lot of your boxes. Sport is important but it does not have to be rugby or football. Rowing, sailing, fencing etc are all on offer. There are also other areas in which boys can excel - music is a particular strength but also art and drama.

But if you are looking for weekly boarding it may not be the best choice. It is either full boarding or day and they take the full boarding thing quite seriously.

TH22 · 18/11/2021 16:22

Do you want boys only? As Bradfield do lots of different types of sport, as does Millfield... Millfield especially puts an emphasis on finding an activity for every child...

usedtobeboss3 · 19/11/2021 13:30

Royal Hospital School in Suffolk might be worth a look. While there's quite a lot of sport going on, sailing is a big thing for those that do it, and can be taken as a main sport, especially for Sailing Scholars.. Also plenty of music, debating etc, and pupils are encouraged to find their thing. Competitive sport is reasonably important and encouraged in years 7 and 8, but as they get older they can choose to use the gym etc instead.

Witch708 · 20/11/2021 23:40

Frensham Heights, Surrey. Not at all sporty. Brilliant performing arts and for creative. Academically ok.

Aethelthryth · 29/11/2021 07:10

Sport at King's Canterbury was pretty token unless one was v. keen and there were lots of non-tough options. Music art and drama seemed to be taken a lot more seriously

Wowwellokthen · 07/12/2021 17:51

Eastbourne college

felizdia · 07/12/2021 23:36

Stowe have just had a talented boy have a life changing injury and the way the school has rallied around him has been incredible. My DS didn't know him but he talks with great empathy about him and what they have done and are doing for him. There are so many other options waiting for him...I really wish you the very best of luck.
(Highly recommend Stowe for non-sport & pastoral care!)

Original poster
boarding23145 · 08/12/2021 19:25

@felizdia That's so lovely, and the kind of pastoral care am hoping DS will get in the school he picks. Stowe is known as such a sporty school though, do the non-sporty academic boys find a place there?

@Wowwellokthen Just looked at Eastbourne, it seems like a good option! They have a late entry process (Y7/Y8) so we still have a chance to apply.

Our choice is becoming easier, we've just had a rejection from Winchester. A little gutted but he did his ISEB in the midst of surgery and recovery, so clearly not his best effort. I don't think we have a chance at the top boarding schools now, so definitely looking beyond our original list. Fingers crossed for the remaining ones!

OP posts:
felizdia · 08/12/2021 19:37

@bo^*arding23145 there are lots of non-sporty at Stowe.
It has a reputation for not being as academic as other schools but we moved from another top 10 to Stowe and I can assure you that the academics and pastoral care have amazed me. My DS was written off by his previous school and yet he has already sat 1 A level a year early and guaranteed an A^, he has had offers from all his uni choices inc Russell Group. *
Rowing and drama are very good as alternative options but if he is really going to miss his sport, how about him learning to umpire or referee? Stowe would definitely support him. They have a golf course, stables (polo & beagling) and a new mountain biking track too.
I would highly recommend you make an appointment to meet the head, Dr Walensteiner in person, you may well be very surprised.

Apologies for the bold & italics...not sure what happened there Grin

lanthanum · 09/12/2021 16:13

I would explore, as soon as you can, sports which he might be able to do. If he's inclined towards sport, I would expect him to want an outlet for that. He may have to take a new direction - but there are plenty of parathletes who have done that.

For instance, if rowing might be an option, then you can look for a school where he could take that forward.

If disability sports look the best bet, a day school / weekly boarding will presumably make it easier for him to go to a suitable club in the evenings or at weekends.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 09/12/2021 18:34

Thanks @lanthanum, this is what I am struggling with. I've suggested various new sports to him (rowing, shooting, archery, etc) but he has never done them and no opportunity at his current school, so he doesn't know yet whether he wants to commit or not. He enjoys some sports like golf, for example, but hasn't done it competitively.

How would the new secondary school evaluate someone who's never done that particular sport competitively before? We will go into interviews saying DS likes football, rugby and cricket, but he can't do those any more!

Yes, I definitely think day or weekly boarding school is the better option at the moment, giving him the flexibility to do external clubs as needed. I

OP posts:
lanthanum · 09/12/2021 19:11

Can you sign him up for a beginners rowing course? It looks like there are some available (eg Barn Elms Boathouse - they also mention private lessons). Or is it too soon for him to be getting back into sport at all?
Rowing seems like a good bet as most people won't have done it when younger.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 09/12/2021 20:27

@lanthanum Did not expect this but I googled to find 3 rowing clubs close to us and all start at age 11. Off to try them soon!

OP posts:
lanthanum · 09/12/2021 20:40

That's great! I hope he enjoys it.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 26/02/2022 14:29

Thanks to all who helped with school recommendations! We applied to three new schools thanks to the advice on the thread (Trinity, Sevenoaks, Kings Canterbury). DS also did well in the original set of boarding schools we applied to, so some tough choices ahead and hope I can get some more advice!

Just to reiterate, DS is sporty but probably can't play competitive sports any more. He will need a school with excellent pastoral care, flexibility to avoid team sports to do individual sports or other activities and not feeling 'left out' if he avoids sports. He also enjoys choir and drama but as a sporty child, he will probably pick up new sports.

We have offers/second rounds with the below schools. Any further advice on the most suitable one would be great!

Tonbridge
Dulwich
Trinity
Kings' Canterbury
Wellington

+Sevenoaks - exam is in Y7 and DS keen to avoid another exam, but if it's the right school we will of course do it.

OP posts:
EstoPerpetua · 26/02/2022 14:39

Don't discount Eton. I will PM you.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 26/02/2022 14:50

Not discounting it at all! I think Eton satisfies all my criteria. The deadlines for the above schools are soon-ish so wanted to pick one from this list before Eton results are out.

OP posts:
Sonineties · 26/02/2022 19:27

Wellington is massively sporty. So is Tonbridge. Everyone is expected to play for their houses at rugby, football etc and there are whole school X-country runs.

Original poster
boarding23145 · 26/02/2022 20:33

I know! We applied to Wellington and Tonbridge because we wanted highly sporty schools, but of course circumstances changed in a few months..

OP posts:
bravepotatoes · 28/02/2022 15:31

Hi, I commented upthread, so not much to add except to reiterate that I think Sevenoaks would tick all those boxes really well (strong drama and music, including good choral opportunities, and lots of non-team-sport activities to get involved in and shine at, not just individual sports but also lots of charity/service stuff). I totally get the reluctance to sit another exam if you don't have to, though, and I don't know all of the other schools well enough to know how well they would also tick the boxes - so that's not much help, sorry! With one of the v sporty schools like Tonbridge and Wellington, I'm sure there are kids who are very happy there who aren't sports-mad, as long as they've got the confidence to be their own person - but I think it might be hard for a kid who IS really keen on sport but isn't able to join in any more. It might be easier for your son to be at a school where arts/academics/other achievements are at least as highly lauded as team sport, if not more so.