Non-sporty boarding/day schools

[boarding23145]

Name-changing as I am a regular poster and this is a bit outing.

DS is currently applying to 13+ schools and as a sporty, academic boy we chose to apply predominantly to boarding schools (Eton, Harrow, Winchester, Tonbridge etc). We also have a few London day schools on the list.

Sadly due to a permanent injury he will no longer be able to play any sports and I feel most boarding schools will not suit him any more. As a very sporty boy, I think it will be traumatic for him to go to a school that places a huge importance on sports where all his friends will be out playing in multiple teams.

Now that our entire list has gone out the window, does anyone have recommendations of weekly boarding/day schools that may suit him?

So far I have:
Winchester
Kings' Canterbury
Reigate
Trinity (?)

He’s never done rowing before, but definitely sounds like an option, thank you.

@Adarajames Thank you for your words, the good news is that we have a few more years before he goes to the next school, so we are all supporting him as best as we can. It's indeed life-changing, but hopefully we can return to normalcy soon and he will soon find other things he is passionate about..

Rowing does sound like a good shout, it’s very tough, lots of training, my DS says it’s often the taller boys who are in the top teams. I know Canford and Bryanston campus are on the River Stour. Winchester do well at fencing but not sure if that would be too high impact? Also mountain biking, lots of schools have trails in their grounds. Hope that helps and best of luck.

I second Sevenoaks or Westminster but as a pp said my DS was at one of your schools and the school would have adapted. There is lots going on beyond sport and being a good sportsman is not the be all and end all.I know what you mean in that another of my DSes had a serious injury and a year off sport aged 14 and didn't really get back into it afterwards, he still enjoyed school.My knowledge of Kings Canterbury is that being good at games carries a lot of kudos but that might just be the young people I know.
I would visit a few schools with your DS so that he can meet boys and picture himself there.

pm'ed you, OP

I was about to say rowing too. It is good if your joints can’t take high impact.

Rowing boarding schools:
Eton
Shiplake
Pangbourne
Westminster
Radley
St Edwards (Teddies)
Shrewsbury
Abingdon
St. Paul’s

Not rowing boarding schools:
Harrow
Wellington
Tonbridge
Stowe
Caterham
Charterhouse
Rugby
Haileybury
Repton
Marlborough
Sherborne

Thank you all for the wonderful advice.

I've looked at the websites of all the schools (old ones and the new suggestions on the thread) and they all offer a huge variety of sports, both team and individual. I think DS will have the opportunity to pick up anything he wants at any of these schools, which is great. I have already recommended Rowing to him as he is quite tall, not sure if he will end up picking it though.

I think my fears stemmed from the current situation where all his classmates are out playing in PE and Games lessons and he sits in the classroom doing nothing. He refuses to go to school on these days. He was also due to sing in the christmas choir, but he can't stand for two hours in church, so he is out of that too. It's all quite heartbreaking for DS.

I feel more positive that none of these senior schools will make him sit in a classroom when the whole school is out playing sports though (or am I wrong?). Are there any schools like that I should avoid?

Trinity definitely values sports, but it also values music and drama, as well as academic achievement.

They offer loads of different sports so hopefully there will be something that your DS could manage. They also have fantastic gym /strength and conditioning facilities (upgraded when the French rugby squad used the school as a training base during the 2015 world cup).

Not sure what your DS would be able to cope with but beyond rugby/hockey/football they do basketball, badminton, cricket, tennis, table tennis, squash, swimming/water polo/scuba, shooting, archery, and have a climbing wall. Sixth form even have yoga as an option!

It's a fab school where every pupil is valued.

Thank you @Seeline do they have dedicated times for team sports where every student has to participate in them? Do some of them go off to do individual sports?

Just seen that your DS sings - singing is very strong at Trinity. The younger boys do a lot before their voices break, but the school really encourage them to continue afterwards with lots of choirs available to them. I cannot imagine them not allowing your DS to sit as when he needed to during a concert etc!

They obviously have scheduled games/PE lessons every week as part of the curriculum. Teams train generally before/after school. I don't know how they would deal with an individual permanently unable to participate in games lessons. If I remember correctly the students have a bit more choice about what they do for some sports lessons by Y9, so there should be some flexibility.
I think your best bet would be to give them a ring and ask for advice.

Sailing?

Have you had a look at Sherborne and (perversely?) Millfield?

Millfield has every sports under the sun coming out of the ol’wazoo :-)

Sympathies op, this must be very hard for you and ds. Re:

"He was also due to sing in the christmas choir, but he can't stand for two hours in church, so he is out of that too. It's all quite heartbreaking for DS."

You may well have already done this, in which case apologies, but would it be worth asking if they could accommodate him sitting for part of the time so that he can still take part? Or sing for part of the concert (1st half?)

Another thing - if he's interested in music, would ds want to pursue instrument playing? Classical orchestras seem to sit down! (I realise other bands don't so much, though the drummers and keyboard players more likely)

I would advise a coed rather than all boys school, this means that half the cohort are already different in that more girls play hockey, lacrosse, dance (I know boys play hockey now and girls play football and cricket but I’m trying to say it breaks things up more if that makes sense).

I would also say a big school with 700 or 800 pupils in my experience means a huge range of sports and a range of children including those who can’t play sports for medical reasons, a lot more flexibility and tolerance.

It will get easier Op in that once he is in Yr 10 and onwards there is far less of the everyone must be on a team (prep/junior schools are quite rigid on this) people are allowed to branch off much more. Your DS may find his place building a kit car (green power racing car) or something else he hasn’t come across yet. It won’t be all about the rugby team in a couple more years.

That makes a lot of sense @TrueGrit54. It’s only a year or two I guess! Co-ed makes sense as well.

Does anyone have a view on Dulwich, Tonbridge and Harrow in terms of suitability to avoid team sports?

Harrow and Tonbridge are both massively into inter house team sport, and lots of time is allocated to this. If you don’t participate you are letting the house down, and you are also doomed to spend a lot of time on your own. Tonbridge is also a very big inter school competitor, particularly in rugby.

Don’t know about Dulwich.

Thank you, I suspect the same for all three.

No point in going to Millfield unless sport is your number 1 priority,no one goes to the school for the Academics.

Agreed re Harrow. Unfortunately as a general rule I would say the all boys schools like Harrow where tradition and beating Eton etc at sports is taken very seriously are exactly what you are trying to avoid.

Brighton College might fit the bill

Has anyone mentioned City of LondonSB yet? My impression is that there may be quite a lot of non-team-sporty types? Or Latymer Upper or UCS? (day, obviously, not boarding)

@Iwasneverafanofthat

Sympathies op, this must be very hard for you and ds. Re:

"He was also due to sing in the christmas choir, but he can't stand for two hours in church, so he is out of that too. It's all quite heartbreaking for DS."

You may well have already done this, in which case apologies, but would it be worth asking if they could accommodate him sitting for part of the time so that he can still take part? Or sing for part of the concert (1st half?)

Another thing - if he's interested in music, would ds want to pursue instrument playing? Classical orchestras seem to sit down! (I realise other bands don't so much, though the drummers and keyboard players more likely)

I was going to say similar. In fact I'd be quite forceful about it - they wouldn't exclude a child in a wheelchair from choir, would they, so surely a plan can be made that incorporates a stool for him to sit on for some period during the concert?

I find it quite shocking that your current school would exclude your son from the school concert just because he needs a stool. Surely that's disability discrimination and the school must make reasonable adjustments let alone think about pastoral care and how that would affect said child!

I don't know how flexible you are on location beyond London, but my extremely non-sporty daughter is at King Edwards in Bath, and they are very positively inclusive; one girl in her year is sight-impaired and takes part in everything (she is also a paralympics prospect) while the brother of another friend was deaf and they could not fault how the school dealt with him.

Gosh no, the school has been fantastic about this. In fact I hadn’t asked about sitting down in the choir - I will ask and hopefully they will be fine with it.