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Original poster

AIBU to class being pushed by a pupil and told to fuck of as assault.

64 replies

twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:06

as that is what happened to me today and the mother's words were it is only a little push what is your problem? It was a deliberare aggressive shove.

Had to then put up with boys mother screaming at me down the phone and saying well if it is assault call the police then you fucking silly bitch

OP posts:
yurt1 · 10/12/2007 22:08

well there we go. A charming family.

It's pretty awful....

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:10

It took 3 cups of tea, a big hug from dd, a foot massage and bubble bath to calm me down as I was tempted to call the police not that they would do anything.

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EmsMum · 10/12/2007 22:11

You need to make sure that if he lays a finger on you again there are serious consequences... I hope thats possible in a school, that you can get backing from the headteacher to take appropriate action.

You can bet if you'd done the pushing it would have been classed as assault (not that I can imagine someone with such a ladylike name stooping to such behaviour!)

TherewasnoMOOMattheINn · 10/12/2007 22:12

Have you spoken to your union? If you don't register this at the very least, it will be seen as 'OK' for this sort of thing to happen again? Has the pupil been excluded? What was the school's reaction? and why were you having to speak to the parent - it should be with SMT now at the very least

hippipotTEDCHRISTMASTREEami · 10/12/2007 22:13

Good grief, that is awful!

You poor thing, and what a monster of a mother!!
There is just no hope for some children with such a fine exhample of a human being as a role model!!

What can be done about families like this though?

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:15

Emsmum that is exactly what dp said when I phoned him at work and told him.

I wouldn't even need to push the boy, if I swore at him I would be sacked.

The boy was sent home and told not to come in tomorrow and the matter will be investigated, as he is denying it I need witnesses.

A member of SMT did phone home but she requested so speak to me so I phoned her. I have written a script of the call and passed it on to the head and my union rep.

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janeite · 10/12/2007 22:16

Twinset - are you the boy's head of year? You shouldn't have to put up with abusive phone calls unless you are a Head of Year at the very least and in this case, even if you are, it should be somebody more senior who is now dealing with it. What is the school's view of this? Are you getting any support?

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:17

Dp wants me to contact the police tonight, I don't think it will help the situation. We do have a school PC though and I am referring it to him.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 10/12/2007 22:17

YANBU.

Teachers should not have to put up with this crap.

undertheMRSEI25toe · 10/12/2007 22:17

OMG some people are just not worth your effort really i always felt i had to be respectful towards my teachers at school and cant believe that in the 10 or so years since i finished school, alot of children have been transformed into these disrespectful lazy little swines!! i was considering going into teaching recently and would seriously think twice about it due to stories like this!!
i really think YANBU and if i were you i would take this further myself!! it is any kind of unwanted physical contact that can be classed as assault so yes it is assault to be aggressively shoved by a little horror!!
xx ei xx

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:18

I am the head of year for his brother, when she was told of the incident she said oh that is the teacher who hates my kids as I have sent letters home about missing homework.

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CarmenerryChristmas · 10/12/2007 22:19

Oh you have to make an official complaint, if only to protect you in the future as a deterrent.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:19

What is touching is the shock of my dd when she overheard dp and myself discussing it. She just cannot imagine why a pupil would ever push a teacher, long may it stay that way.

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Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:21

I am being pragmatic, if I make a police complaint I will anger the head and I am applying for another job. Although actually perhaps it won't.

I will ensure it is dealt with in school though.

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LittleSleighBellasRinging · 10/12/2007 22:24

If it angers your HT, won't s/he want to get rid of you, so give you a good reference?

God what is wrong with these HT's, who think their staff should put up with this crap?

No I don't think you're being unreasonable. But I'm not a HT.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:26

I need a glowing reference which I do actually deserve.

Schools can be a very unpleasant place to work if you upset the SMT.

If I called the police in all seriousness what would they do.

Also I know of schools where similar has happened and the teacher has called the police which then means the school wipes its hands of the situation and refuses to support the teacher with any linked following problems.

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inthegutter · 10/12/2007 22:29

Of course it's assault. And as you say, if you did a fraction of what this little s! did you'd lose your livelihood.
I only wish schools would more readily involve the police, press charges against these thugs and make them realise the consequences.

Heated · 10/12/2007 22:31

Poor you . I'd want a very robust response from my head on this matter; if I didn't get it I'd involve my union.

A physical assault on a member of staff such as yours, should be a considered permanent exclusion but in all likelihood a 2 or 3 week exclusion, meeting with the parents, letter of apology, support of governors.

If a parent is arsey, they are told find another school that will tolerate that kind of behaviour as it isn't tolerated here.

Hope you get that support.

janeite · 10/12/2007 22:32

Sorry, crossed posts. Hope things go well tomorrow. It's a horrible situation, when some parents feel compelled to protect their "little darlings" no matter what. Goodness only knows what messages they think they are giving to their children.

dingdongbelgianbunsonhigh · 10/12/2007 22:33

YANBU How awful ! If you were a doctor you would have the right to refuse to treat this charming specimen. Unfortunately not all public sector workers have that choice. Definitely one for the unions - I would contact local authority about HT also. Good luck twinset.

bb xx

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:34

If it was my dd who had done this I would be livid with her and even if I may have had concerns about the school or the situation I would not have expressed them in the way this mother did.

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LittleSleighBellasRinging · 10/12/2007 22:34

I really think teaching unions should push for the police to be involved in this sort of thing, so HT's don't expect their staff to put up with this.

What does your union rep say?

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 10/12/2007 22:36

have not spoken to her in person, we were all in INSET after school and she dashed away before I could talk to her.

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Eliza2 · 11/12/2007 09:22

See, this is what annoys me about these constant government initiatives for schools. They need to sort out the crappy parenting before there's a hope of doing anything else. How can teachers teach children like this? And I've seen similar behaviour in school too: children biting teachers, swearing at them, etc. And these were under ten. I'm a parent helper and have been sworn at many times. I've had my handbag 'gone' through and some of my possessions broken.

anneme · 11/12/2007 09:40

That is def asssault - and your HT should be supporting you all the way. Make sure it is logged and speak to your rep. Something should be done so that a] this pupil knows he was wrong b]other pupils know it is wrong (slippery slope and all that) and c] so that you and your colleagues can go around the school without feeling intimidated.
I am a teacher too and I remember having to call senior management to remove a pupil from a lesson because of intimidating behaviour - and it was a one to one lesson!!!