Non grammar school areas - do you regret not having had a child have a chance of grammar school?

[mids2019]

I live in an area with no local grammar school but am aware of other parents that have made decisions to move into grammar school areas with their children gaining successful entry.

Does any one else sometimes feel they would have liked their child the opportunity to take the 11+?

I sometimes feel my children are vaguely aware of grammar/private schools where the 'bright kids go' and dont want them to feel educationally less esteemed.

[quote Hoopa]@shallIswim
Hear hear.
Teaching your children that they are no better than anyone else, only different. That no school or workplace is perfect, that they must work at things when they have problems. That they must stand on their own two feet, with only a gentle hand hold, and choose to work and find out what their strengths are, whatever other children are deciding to do.
Growing up in a school community that mirrors the community to be found outside the school gate is, in my book, the greatest privilege of all and the most terrific springboard to real life.[/quote]
What fantastic advice.

I'd like to listen to you more, not in a creepy way but you sound a lovely person! I'm going to try and remember your words for my own parenting.

Growing up in a school community that mirrors the community to be found outside the school gate is, in my book, the greatest privilege of all and the most terrific springboard to real life.

Doesn't that depend a bit on the community outside the school gate?

@user149799568
Why?

I went to an ordinary comprehensive in a remote part of the UK - the kids in my year went on to become doctors, civil servants, ft mums, lawyers, admin staff, teachers, supermarket staff, a mixed bag really...? Don't sweat it.

Growing up in a school community that mirrors the community to be found outside the school gate is, in my book, the greatest privilege of all and the most terrific springboard to real life.

As idyllic as this sounds, there aren't actually many comprehensives like that in London and SE. We are in the catchment of only 1 school, every parent and 2 teachers there have told me not to consider it. I can see myself the antisocial behaviour of the kids that walk past everyday, and blatant bullying of the 'normal' or quieter kids.

I like the area, my neighbours and local community. This comp does NOT at all reflect the local community. It's become a sink school taking children from 3 adjacent boroughs. I'm stressed about schooling options. The system is too fragmented, and failing most children, especially the kids at my local comp. Grammars are part of the problem, but they are also my salvation. They're not perfect - clearly there's a lot of pressure to keep up their standing.

I think when a school is failing the parents have to basically hold the school governors and boards to account and fight for your children's rights. I was shocked to read about the recent scandals and fraud that is going in broad daylight...and what has become of it...nothing...no action taken?

No I don’t. My DS applied to a grammar school and passed test 1, but then didn’t get in. We already had an excellent secondary he had a guaranteed place for so didn’t pay for a tutor. He has loved his secondary and I really feel it was a better fit for him. He got 9 X 9’s and 2 x 8 in GCSE so clearly he did just as well as he could have there. Had we had a poor secondary on our doorstep I’d have paid for tutoring a couple of years before like most do.

I prefer choice, more choices of schools not less.

Dd was in a good comp, streamed of course in top sets... But unfortunately the English teacher was inexperienced and couldn't control the class, that led into many other issues and then science teacher also put her to sleep she said.

Many other niggles mean I've moved her to a grammar.
I can't risk her gcses on this, I need a school that is pushed by a purpose and won't tolerate lovely but totally ineffectual teachers.
Also poor pastoral support etc a general lack of care..

User dc been in two primary and both held us parents at arms length, how on earth are most parents able to understand this system and hold them school to account most of us are frightened of raising small issues about our dc.

@Panickingpavlova I'm so sorry to hear this and it is absolutely appalling that the staff/headteacher should behave in this way. These people/the governors/the board are literally stealing from the children and future of this country (I'm talking about England here) and there should be national outrage.

Is this discussion going to be influenced by today's gcse results? Looks like grammars did very well and the daily mail are hailing grammars as the way to address educational inequalities???

I find it very hard to take the Daily Mail seriously... And of course grammar schools did well with a level results, they cream off the brightest children. If they have pupils who get poorer GCSE results they don't let them move up to sixth form.