The Birthday Table - do you want loads of publicity etc blah about it?

[LordVenger]

Just need a few details and it can be in a broadsheet on Monday morning

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Theres no huge pressure - I just have a slot for a 200-word newsy story today, and next Friday, I'll probably have another one. Boco can just email me at leisure and work out what she wants to do with the story. To be honest, I can imagine the News section would go mental for it - pictures of sad excluded looking child, in order to boost evil Turkey Twizzler-pushing company's profits - but it depends on how much attention you want. I'd definitely want to sit down and think about it if I were Boco. Nothing more stressful than the combo of kids/bad vibes at school. xx

LV while you're at it could you mention what tossers Eurotunnel are for delaying me then charging me £200 to upgrade so I could get to france for ONE NIGHT without being delayed SIX HOURS

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Office? Ugh no. You have to get dressed there, and shut the door when you go to the toilet. No I'm at home, watching the W5 bus try to negotiate a corner where a van's double-parked. Lots of angry beeping.

oh hun x

what next, 'hun'?

Sorry cod, I hang out with gays. It's all "cut yr head off xxxx" this and "lalalalala" that. I will try and stop.

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((((((((hugs everyone for reminding not to do hugs))))))))))

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I think you should use multiple exclamation marks in next column and see if anyone comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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have dreadful image now of a whole head of garlic in Gordon

is that good cod

I read the recipe in dh's book (how to cook like a MAN) and thought it sounded vile

oh really

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I know such AWFUL gossip about Gordon Ramsey. It includes the phrases "lying there like a corpse" and "named after his penis."

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Hang on - Fox. I KNOW YOU DON'T I? or maybe not. Did we talk about cystitis in my garden (not actually a pun, but a location)

spell it out woman

you don't have to worry about libel on here

um. isnt boco in wales?