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Competitive parenting nightmare

143 replies

lilylove · 05/11/2007 21:57

My five year old daughter has come back from a playdate and told me the mother gave her a spelling test! I had my doubts about this woman who because my daughter is bright, regards her as a rival for the private school place she wants for her own daughter when they have to take their 7plus exams at the end of their current school.
I am so angry I could scream. Any thoughts on how I should handle this - and any other similar experiences. Is this an isolated experience?

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 08/11/2007 13:18

LOL, Enid - I read that as "worrying" first time round. I think your actual word's better though...!

controlfreaky2 · 08/11/2007 13:19

slightly? slightly?

Enid · 08/11/2007 13:23

oh alright it is full on whoring

Doodledootoo · 08/11/2007 13:23

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 08/11/2007 13:32

How silly, now know what to do with all this extra time and MN stories I have gathered in my head though.

nooka · 08/11/2007 13:37

Seems a non issue to me. People have always been competitive about getting into sought after schools, and the best schools have always had more than one applicant per place. How it should make any difference knowing the ability of other children is beyond me (expept for adjusting your perceptions of your child's chances). Typical DM filler material, and she was obviously trawling for other "similar" experiences/anger and got none hence the thinness of the article.

Botbot · 08/11/2007 13:47

There's this one too.

Shabby, I call it.

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 13:53

Not the first time it's happened, surely?...

Doodledootoo · 08/11/2007 13:54

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 13:55

The photo doesn't do Tanith any favours, does it? Looks like Ronald McDonald did the make-up.

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 14:00

Slightly more seriously (and less bitchily) of me - it does make you stop and think how much journalism is made-up. I

mean, we all know it on some level, but once you have had it confirmed, you actively stop and think. Someone has 24 hours to turn round an article on competitive parenting and school places. Who's going to know that the people "quoted" are not people she has met in real life?

I've often noticed it in articles - almost always written by women - in "lifestyle" sections. A proposition is made, backed up by some vaguely-researched evidence, then quotes from "Lisa, 33, a company director" and "Amanda, 36, a management consultant". In other words, the friends of the author - emailed or phoned and given pseudonyms.

Lilymaid · 08/11/2007 14:02

And please don't muddle her up with me! Has anyone yet added a comment to the Daily Mail article?

claricebeansmum · 08/11/2007 14:02

UQD - you are so right.

Journalists are so lazy - they just make it up as they go along.

I have had lots of dealings with jounalists. One did a feature on our house - the revamp of our basement - photos and all - except we don't have a basement! DOH!

Marina · 08/11/2007 14:10

I wouldn't generalise to that extent claricebeansmum - I know lots of hard-working journalists here and in RL
But I can think of at least one poster who blurs the line between her own postings and material-gathering and a lot of us just avoid her more blatant "let's start a heated debate" threads

Bink · 08/11/2007 14:12

I don't think anyone's raising eyebrows over the cobbled-together-inventiveness aspect, UQD - it's that this person's (weirdly paradoxically self-congratulatory) underhandedness is making her a byword even in that world.

Plus my own personal bee in bonnet about her not having learnt anything from the sensible balanced responses to her silly OPs.

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 14:12

It must be so tempting though. If you know you are going to get some good, copyright-free responses just by dropping a rock like "I think private schools are always better than state, what do you think?" into the pond. I've always thought that was the danger of this place.

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 14:13

Bink - but I think she had decided on the angle before posting here, so responses to her OP were not going to change that.

Bink · 08/11/2007 14:13

PS - also re UQD's comment - I do remember the horrid shock of realising the problem page in Jackie was Made Up.

Hallgerda · 08/11/2007 14:13

UQD, it's not copyright-free, surely? Don't MN Towers own the copyright?

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 14:14

You'll be telling us Graham Norton and Ruby Wax don't write their own problem page responses next....

Bink · 08/11/2007 14:14

And oh yes I realise I'm being all prim & unrealistic about her non-change-of-position, it's just a pity, no?

Marina · 08/11/2007 14:15

What! Made Up? Bink, how could you.
I agree that underhandedness is the big issue here.
But I have zero expectations of anyone writing opinion filler for the Daily Mail anyway

UnquietDad · 08/11/2007 14:15

hallgerda - I'm sure you're right - for direct quotes. (Because MN Towers do books occasionally, don't they? And use the material from here.) But maybe there weren't any direct quotes in Tanith's article. (Tanith. PMSL. She must have had hippy SF fan parents.)

Lilymaid · 08/11/2007 14:18

My Mum's best friend, a physio, once treated a little old man who was Cathy and Claire (... or so he said).

Bink · 08/11/2007 14:19

Quote of the day from Lilymaid there.

Everyone go and read Nathanael West, now.