Competitive parenting nightmare

[lilylove]

My five year old daughter has come back from a playdate and told me the mother gave her a spelling test! I had my doubts about this woman who because my daughter is bright, regards her as a rival for the private school place she wants for her own daughter when they have to take their 7plus exams at the end of their current school.
I am so angry I could scream. Any thoughts on how I should handle this - and any other similar experiences. Is this an isolated experience?

Seriously though..Kalo is right! you need to relax. your dd is 5, you've got 2 more years to get though before school selection happens. If your dd is what the school is looking for she'll get the place,..if not there'll be somewhere that suits her better. If you are really that unhappy about this woman asking her spellings there is only one solution..don't let her visit again..I just hope she has plenty of other friends to choose from!

I used to pick up one of DS2's classmates a couple of times a week, and keep him at my house for up to an hour until his dad could pick him up.

I used to get the two boys to do their prep in this time, because the other little boy was a lot more diligent than my son, so I hoped that his good example would rub off on him. I would chat to them about what they were doing.

I wonder if he told his dad I was quizzing him, which dad then interpreted that I was fearful of this boy's achievement.

I must be in a minority: when DS brings a friend home they just go on the PlayStation

Snap, Cristina -- mine do incessent role play with little fairies and animals.

I don't understand why anyone is het up ("normal" or not) -- who cares if the other mum set a spelling test? So what? Why does it matter, as long as child had a good time overall?

What does DD think? If DS went to a playdate and had to do a spelling test he'd never want to go again. But if your DD is happy to do it - what does it matter? The other parent can only 'compete' if you also play the game and you are not competitive.....are you?

I must admit that I once did spellings when my DS had a playdate. This was because I knew that my DS had a busy week with swimming the next day and a spelling test later in the week. I don't think they minded, and it never crossed my mind that the other mum would be cross. Maybe now I would think twice.....!!

Have to say I'm curious at to what sort of prep school has such a tight allocation on its spaces at 7? What area are you in? Round here they would just take the kids who got the highest marks in the test and/or had other strengths which would get them into a good school at 11/13. They don't limit places to just 2 per pre-prep.

Celia2 - - - !!!

pmsl

way to ruin your kid's friendships. who's going to want to invite her to play now, knowing they're likely to end up being slagged off in a national "newspaper"...

Oh dear.

One of the stupidest articles I have read for a long time - sorry.

So many points to pick apart: Why is it a "secret" anyone is doing kumon maths; the meaningless statistic that there are 4 children to one place without mentioning how many other schools people apply to; the horror that parents are "shelling out hundred of pounds for tutors" and then trying to do the same; the ridiculous point that "two children from the school - a girl and a boy" usually go to that school, implying that in fact the feted selective school acts on some sort of quota system (which I will almost guarantee that it doesn't).

Articles like this perpetuate - no, fuel, the competitive parenting and say an awful lot more about the parent than the child.

She lives on a totally different planet to me - maybe I'm just incredibly naive. Around these parts you go to your catchment school, and that's it.

The thing is, I live in a very similar area with very similar issues. And even with that perspective, it still doesn't add up.

I'm also always gobsmacked by articles like this which don't contemplate whether the child, er, may not be that bright. Its neither a crime nor a sin not to be quite good enough for a hyper-competitive academic school. Other children may have got in because they were a bit brighter, not because their parents' played the system better.

How clever, using a post on mn as a thinly veiled disguise for research for your article...

And what a surprise it was for the DM

I think I will become a journalist specialising in parenting and "women's" interests - all you have to do is read mn all day long...

What a crap journalist !

Yawn

How very amusing

Check this out

I hope this person's DD isn't TOO fond of her little friend, because I don't think the other mum is going to be too chuffed.

Whoops - way behind the the rest of you on that one!

I never thought that the DM could get a worse name than it has already.

Did anyone pick up that this woman is congratulating herself on her own "stealth" (in finding out the name of a tutor - which, by the way, is not rocket science - I've got those sort of details while being the utterly least operative person you could ever meet) - while in the same breath villifying someone else's sly (as she claims) tactics? (ooh, and building a case for an entire Social Phenomenon on the back of such slyness?)

I Hate Lifestyle Journalism

Thank you so much, outers!

Oh, puke. FFS.

why would you put your dd in a paper? surely she will now be picked on at school?

idiot

Oh this has just made me PMSL!!!!!!!!.....,
Brilliant! You know I was wondering why LL was so quiet and now we all know...
Right then LL...What have you got to say for yourself?

..... DRUMS FINGERS LOUDLY ON DESK.......
weeeeellllllll ll? well?