Help! Boarding school drama!

[drinkteaandrelax]

My DD is 15, looking for a full boarding school to spend her sixth form at. She is very academic and thrives in a hard-working environment. A school that is pushy, but also has many societies, co-curriculars and fun weekend activities is a must. We are definitely looking for bursaries and scholarships.

I have been looking with my DD for a week or so, and the four we have cut our list down to is:

Christ's Hospital
Marlborough College
Rugby School
St Edwards Oxford

Which one do you think she would suit best? And what knowledge have you gathered about them all?
The other full boarding schools haven't really appealed to us, but we are still open to ideas. Any information about boarding life at these schools would be much appreciated.

@VelveteenChair

We looked round Oundle and whilst it is a fantastic school, the pastoral care has been questioned in RL and on here. We chose somewhere else in the end. You need to be tough at Oundle, have sharp elbows and money. If you have these in abundance then you will thrive.

You’re saying that based on Mumsnet posts of yesteryear? Well as an actual parent, based on real life and current experience, I would say you definitely don’t need sharp elbows. The school is large and consequently has every type of person. They purposefully share the types around each house so no one house in known for this or that in terms of types. This is great as you don’t get everyone of a certain type vying for one house or avoiding others. Yes there are some wealthy people there - the fees are vast but the same as any boarding school. Around 10% have fee support via bursary (could be more I think - the Oundle magazine has the specifics published in there) as there are no scholarships anymore. All fee support goes on means tested bursaries including 100% bursaries. My dc have no idea who is in receipt of these bursaries. No one talks about it - so “needing to be wealthy” is very wrong in my opinion. Wealthy is far more of an issue the closer to London you get where schools can become a lot flashier imo .... Pastorally I can only speak about my actual experience in my dc’s house and it’s been great. I’ve not heard of any problems anywhere else either . You get to meet the housemasters/housemistress before you pick a house which is great as you can choose the best fit for your child. I am sure that out of 1250 pupils , there will be one or two disgruntled parents who will sound off as it is easy to be an anonymous keyboard warrior but the proof is in the pudding, or rather the quality of the children that a school produces, and I think the puplis who leave Oundle are interesting and interested .... a result of 5 happy years at a proper full boarding school. There was another recent thread on MN that spoke about how genuinely lovely and happy the Oundle girls were at a hockey match they’d attended as “opposition” parents.

Definitely have a look at lots of schools yourselves and try not to get hung up on a faceless internet poster single POV unless it is corroborated by many others (including mine

Oundle: need to be careful what boarding house you land on, as pastoral date may or may not be there to rescue you if things don't work out.
I would choose Rubgy over Oundle. Have friends at both (the latter was a bad experience for one of my friends unfortunately), but Oundle probably gets the edge academically, also helped by a different international intake.
Marlborough depends more on the profile of the child and parent, as does Teddies to a lesser extent.
Missing big CO-Ed's from the list: Westminster, Brighton College, Sevenoaks, king's Canterbury, Charterhouse and Wellington.
Wellington is fine but still too cool in my personal view, or not for us, the children of friends I have seen out of there thrived while in school but tanked at uni, kind of a bit of a bubble.
Would probably prefer Charterhouse over Wellington and Marlborough but depends so much on the child, family.
King's Canterbury a good one to explore too.
Good luck

I’m so glad we didn’t persevere with Oundle.

Uppingham is a lovely school. Do have a look, OP. I know it well. Am also interested in the Rugby alternative: a lady in my yoga group is a Rugby mum and she is friendly, down to earth, warm and funny. Her DD is having a great time there.

Uppingham lovely but not in the same league academically as Oundle (or Rugby?) and not such a mix of students I’ve found. Lots more country types at Uppingham. Fewer internationals too I think (they tend to raise the bar in academics.)

Rugby very good. Similar in many ways to Oundle except much more urban setting rather than country town. This may or may not be a preference to you although Rugby as a town is not the most salubrious!

@reefedsail

I wonder what proper full boarding schools there are that would be classified as boneafide academic hot houses?

Maybe Eton, WinColl and WA? I can't think of any co-ed ones though.

How are you defining hothouse..my boys have gone to one of those and ive never thought of it as a hot house and more importantly the boys havent either.

I’d say academic hothouse is where entry is, foremost, very selective and everyone is going to expect (and get) the very best academic grades because that is what the school is known for and values. Typically competitive entry , where tutors (or school equivalent) may well be used by some to prep up beforehand to increase chance of entry success.
Consistent driven pressure on academic achievement. I’d say applies to no more than a couple of percent of schools including both independent and I presume some selective state schools.
These are just my thoughts on what I think a hot house is.

Does any one have any thoughts on Eastbourne college?

I think one person’s hothouse is another person’s fresh breeze. It depends on the child’s actual academic ability (not the tutoring they have received) as to whether they will flourish in an extremely academic school but also their personality and how they deal with stress. You just don’t know until a child is in the environment how they will react which makes the whole planning a bit of a crystal ball 🔮 experience.

My DD had a very good friend at university from Uppingham and he said it was not cool to be clever there! Also a school friend of DD1s went there and, as she was not too bright, it was where she could get into. The boys there gave her a very unflattering nickname! There was definitely a macho (rude) group of boys. Hopefully it has now changed. New girls were also mostly put into a separate house for 6th form. That produced a "them and us" situation we felt. We considered it for DD2 and had a very good look around. Underwhlemed I have to say. The old boarding house for new 6th form girls was awful. Rooms looked out on close up brick walls. I would like to think it has been changed now! Felt like a prison. The existing girls had lovely houses. The new girls seemed very much the poor relations.

I have friends with DC who went to Rugby and that was excellent for them. They are very rich but not overly flashy. I have no knowledge of Oundle.

What about Caterham in Surrey? Most of the 6th form board iirc.
Better academics than many of the schools you've listed.

@PresentingPercy Uppingham isn't an option for my DD. One of her friends is on the list for sixth form and they both agreed they wouldn't go to the same school. Teenage rules and all that.

Some good experiences about Rugby on this old thread OP. Sounds like the pastoral care is excellent and if it is academic enough for your DD then the school sounds a winner.

Never thought of Caterham as a particularly academic school,so just had a look at the website,they are trumpeting best ever gcse results in 2020,that was a stroke of luck wasnt it,I didnt look any further..

They had excellent A level results too. Howrver it is not Rugby or Oundle is it?

@VelveteenChair We are doing an open morning there. It isn't our first choice but it is on the list.

OP, can you clarify: have you ruled out all-girls schools?
And are you ruling out schools that have day pupils? For lower down the school, boarders are often a small minority, but most boarding schools find that for sixth form they could have as many boarders as they are willing to give places to (resulting in 6th form being more than half the school, if they wanted).

If there are say 80 boarders in each year of 6th form, would it matter if there were day pupils too? If you want the whole school to be boarding only, you're ruling out academic.options like Roedean, Downe House, Wycombe Abbey to mention just some girl's ones.

Weekly boarding might be an option. Most of the boarders at Brighton college are weekly. (going home either Friday or Sat am and returning either Sun eve or Mon am)
Brighton College does seem to tick most of your boxes except for the full boarding.
I also have a soft spot for CH as my son went there. Certainly if you need bursary support it's a good option

Had a few friends at Marlborough, they only had good things to say and loved boarding there. Knew one guy at Rugby, but his sisters were sent to Wycombe Abbey and they had v good experiences there.

I was a border but overseas.

@PresentingPercy

They had excellent A level results too. Howrver it is not Rugby or Oundle is it?

Depends what the OP is looking for. Rugby & Oundle are not that academic in the grand scheme of things.

My niece had a fab time as a 6th Form boarder at Caterham - sport. music, drama etc. Now at Oxbridge.

If those tables don’t include Igsces and Pre U, then you’re not comparing apples and pears. Oundle do both of those rather than GCSEs and Pre U although for 2022 no more Pre U (anywhere).
Those tables are like looking at results through a prism with one eye shut.

@ShakeaHettyFeather My DD does not want to attend a full girls school. She wants to be surrounded like she usually is at her secondary school. Also Brighton College has rumours of being a hothouse as they survive off their students' results- plus we've been to visit it and it wasn't for us.

@derekthe1adyhamster What was your sons CH experience?

I've PM'd you - CH is a brilliant school and as it is full boarding offers a lot of different activities. Has the biggest bursary foundation in the country (I think).

He had a lovely time, but I think he's just beginning to realise that he didn't take full advantage of it!
He had a mental health crisis just before his A levels which the school were amazing at helping him with.

Not rtft but have you thought about a state boarding school where you just pay for the accommodation and not the tuition.
Some good grammar schools do this including for sixth form. Have a look at at LRGS which is now co-Ed for sixth form.