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Original poster

Help! Boarding school drama!

102 replies

drinkteaandrelax · 20/02/2021 00:13

My DD is 15, looking for a full boarding school to spend her sixth form at. She is very academic and thrives in a hard-working environment. A school that is pushy, but also has many societies, co-curriculars and fun weekend activities is a must. We are definitely looking for bursaries and scholarships.

I have been looking with my DD for a week or so, and the four we have cut our list down to is:

Christ's Hospital
Marlborough College
Rugby School
St Edwards Oxford

Which one do you think she would suit best? And what knowledge have you gathered about them all?
The other full boarding schools haven't really appealed to us, but we are still open to ideas. Any information about boarding life at these schools would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
Dozer · 21/02/2021 08:49

If affording it is dependent on significant financial discounts, presumably that’s a key criteria, and will limit your choices.

Fcuk38 · 21/02/2021 08:56

Wow what a drama you have on your hands my dear.

reefedsail · 21/02/2021 08:57

@SchrodingersUnicorn just google 'school comparison tool'. It's the government gadget.

Doesn't work well to compare Independent schools for GCSE as I don't think it counts iGCSEs (or something like that) so the data is often skewed or supressed. Works fine for A-Level other than for schools that do primarily bacc so the cohort taking A-Levels is very small.

Chewingle · 21/02/2021 09:00

Are you looking for a September start?

withmycoffee · 21/02/2021 09:17

You have described what you want and then proceeded to list 4 schools that don't fit your descriptions. Those are decent school but not 'academically pushy'. More like 'solid schools with a broad mix of students including some very bright ones'. Which would describe most independent schools. Try Westminster, Wycombe abbey, at swithebs or even charterhouse which has become increasingly pushy due to its proximity to London parents.

reefedsail · 21/02/2021 09:24

I would suggest Wellington College.

OP's DD wants co-ed so not WA or St Swithuns. Charterhouse is no more academic than the schools on OP's original list.

PresentingPercy · 21/02/2021 10:27

I think there is a complete misunderstanding of how schools teach very bright pupils. I’m in a grammar county. I’ve just looked at the scores at one of the top performing grammars here. The sort of school people fall over themselves to get their girls into. Their A level score was B. It seems you have to have nearly every pupil getting A*-A to get higher! However all these grammars have very high achieving DC in them. Cambridge mathematicians, Oxbridge entrants, medics etc. They also have children who get BBB at A level but are nonetheless valued members of the school community. Most schools are not all about academics and not every school can be Wycombe Abbey or similar. That does not mean DC won’t find like minded friends and very academic DC. There is no evidence that any of the schools or indeed the outstanding grammars in my location cannot teach even gifted DC. Of course they can.

It’s not necessary for DC to be taught with 100% high achieving DC. In fact it can lead to unhealthy behaviour and competition. So what MN thinks is middle ranking is, of course, what anyone having a very ordinary comp nearby can only dream of. The schools listed are all outstanding in their own way. I would also say wanting a dc who is considered scholarship worthy to be pushed further sounds unhealthy to me. Just ensure they are happy. There is no need for hot housing.

reefedsail · 21/02/2021 10:42

I completely agree with you @PresentingPercy but the OP wants 'pushy' and 'challenging'. I'm guessing along the lines of SPGS / Habs/ LEH, but co-ed and full boarding.

Original poster
drinkteaandrelax · 21/02/2021 11:18

@PresentingPercy I completely agree. It’s my DD that wants to be ultimately pushed- she tends to challenge herself. She wants to be in a hardworking environment, so I considered her idea of going to a boarding school.
I think what you are saying is completely right, as long as the school has good facilities and happy students, she will thrive. I am going to put her forward for a few schools such as Teddies, because I feel like she will enjoy it there.

OP posts:
PresentingPercy · 21/02/2021 12:29

Well I understand the original post but I do think DC need a well rounded education. Lots of boarding schools that are co ed are not full of children being contnually pushed and challenged. It is exhausting for a start. A child who is self-starter will be fine. In fact I think breadth of education counts for a lot more because for bright children the results are a given really! Unless they burn out. I always find the most interesting and perhaps brightest people know about all sorts of things. They are not just pushed academically at school. They read. They debate. They have a lot of general knowledege. They also are confident and personable. I woud like all of this for my DC as well as academics. Schools can definitely help with personality development but being happy is what rreally matters.

Original poster
drinkteaandrelax · 21/02/2021 12:56

@PresentingPercy
We have applied for open mornings for: Oundle, Rugby and Teddies. The others we haven't found any ways to view.

OP posts:
BustopherPonsonbyJones · 21/02/2021 13:18

Oundle would have been my recommendation. Children at Teddies do well though. Are you looking for the school to be close to home?

PresentingPercy · 21/02/2021 13:40

I think that’s a decent choice.

AnnaBegins · 21/02/2021 13:49

A friend's girl is at Christ's Hospital, on a full scholarship. It is all the things you've said. She has gone from a fairly chatty but very immature girl to a strong mature confident and educated young woman. The opportunities she has had for sports and music are incredible.

MrPickles73 · 21/02/2021 14:04

Yes I would think Oundle would be a good choice. Scholarships often come with very little discount at senior schools unless it is some very special sports award. You may need to look at bursaries?

RandomMess · 21/02/2021 14:13

CH is pushy in the extent that it is academically very selective!

For year 7 entry there is something ridiculous like 6-8 applicants per place and the first cut is academic tests looking for potential. The whole ethos of the school is to offer an excellent education to create social mobility and all are expected to go on to university.

Social activity, sports and clubs yes lots and lots and lots of them.

There is an unofficial CH forum I would go on there and ask.

All boarders (there are few day pupils) pay means tested fees on affordability. However mortgage/rent used to be restricted to around 12% of net income so if you have a massive mortgage they won't subside fees because of it.

There were a lot of parents moaning that the fees were unfair because of high mortgage payments yet refused to consider perhaps they should extend their mortgage term or consider moving further out of London and release equity/reduce mortgage that way HmmConfused

Chewingle · 21/02/2021 14:20

Op the reason I ask is whether you are hoping for this September start.... you have left it very left for a bursary. Very late.

reefedsail · 21/02/2021 15:07

CH is pushy in the extent that it is academically very selective!

Selective compared to where? CH gets slightly lower A-Level results than my DH's school, and his school let in anybody who remembers to put a capital letter on their name in the entrance test.

reefedsail · 21/02/2021 15:18

I'm not doing CH down by the way- or any of these schools. Every school named here has absolutely loads to offer and personally I would choose them for my DS over the 'hot-houses'.

But they are not the sort of places where everybody will be balls-out 24/7 for an Oxbridge offer.

Original poster
drinkteaandrelax · 21/02/2021 16:20

@Chewingle we are looking for sixth form in 2022

OP posts:
leftandaright · 21/02/2021 17:01

@reefedsail

I'm not doing CH down by the way- or any of these schools. Every school named here has absolutely loads to offer and personally I would choose them for my DS over the 'hot-houses'.

But they are not the sort of places where everybody will be balls-out 24/7 for an Oxbridge offer.

I wonder what proper full boarding schools there are that would be classified as boneafide academic hot houses? Full boarding schools by definition offer a breadth of activities to ensure a 24/7 existence is balanced and happy. I’m an Oundle parent and would say sixth form there suits pupils who are aiming top grades at A level and Russell Group universities as a minimum. Several leave after GCSE’s if they aren’t on this path.It’s as academic as we would want it to be as we also want our children to engage in EC activities such as sport, drama, societies etc in whatever interests that child. I know in and around London (plus other major uk cities) there are some mega hot house day schools but I’m not sure that would be healthy to replicate at a full boarding school. Not every one can take that sort of pressure without downtime at home to switch off. That said, I also believe that a very bright child will succeed with top grades at pretty much any school - state or private! Private schools don’t make children brainier, they just smooth the journey and for boarding schools in particular, offer a range of EC activities (which is what makes it for us).
Original poster
drinkteaandrelax · 21/02/2021 17:42

@leftandaright - As you are familiar with Oundle, would you be able to fill me in on the societies, clubs and weekend activities? Do you know if the boarders enjoy it- and is it a happy place?

OP posts:
reefedsail · 21/02/2021 18:29

I wonder what proper full boarding schools there are that would be classified as boneafide academic hot houses?

Maybe Eton, WinColl and WA? I can't think of any co-ed ones though.

leftandaright · 21/02/2021 19:50

[quote drinkteaandrelax]@leftandaright - As you are familiar with Oundle, would you be able to fill me in on the societies, clubs and weekend activities? Do you know if the boarders enjoy it- and is it a happy place?[/quote]
Well my children go there and they love it. They get pushed academically, work hard, play hard and full their time with their interests. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t have our children there!
Friends’ dc have gone to Oxbridge from there. They were properly intellectually curious children and deserving of their Oxbridge places and fully engaged in the societies (lots of debating I seem to remember and digesting of published academia in the library). That is SO not my children (lol) but that’s why we love Oundle, it’s whatever you want it to be provided your child is the type that is diligent and wants to fulfil their academics. It’s that above all else I would say. It’s not super sporty, super music or whatever ... above all it’s expected pupils achieve academically .... you need to visit and eye up the children but with Covid that’s impossible sadly!!
So as many online open days as you can and you will feel a pull to some schools and turned off by others. But as you need a bursary, this is possibly of paramount importance. It’s going to be competitive for gain a bursary so you need to hedge your bets as far as possible.

VelveteenChair · 21/02/2021 20:23

We looked round Oundle and whilst it is a fantastic school, the pastoral care has been questioned in RL and on here. We chose somewhere else in the end. You need to be tough at Oundle, have sharp elbows and money. If you have these in abundance then you will thrive.