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Original poster

A thread for boarding school parents 2020

282 replies

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 31/07/2020 11:45

Have we got such a thread?
I did look but couldn’t see one.
If we haven’t wouldn’t anyone like to join me in this thread to support each other during these strange times. Getting a child off to boarding school is hard enough anyway for so many reasons but it’s decidedly more difficult at this time.
How are you all doing?

OP posts:
leftandaright · 30/08/2020 23:01

You may not be able to take extra things back. My ds’s school says to bring nothing that cannot be easily wiped clean with sterilising fluid. That would discount unlaminated posters and certainly oversized cuddly bears. We’ve been told to bring back the bare essentials. Very dull for them but this is the new normal.

Sparticle · 31/08/2020 20:16

We took DS and DD our for a nice long walk today, with Pizza Hut for tea (we’ve not been all year and they chose it!). I can’t believe that this time tomorrow DS won’t be here. It’s crept up so slowly and now - bam - we are here on the last night. He’s currently very happy building a new Lego set that we bought him today (Lego is his absolute favourite activity).

We drop him off at 5ish tomorrow - I’ve already told him that I can’t promise I won’t cry!

Londonmummy66 · 31/08/2020 23:31

Sparticle - it is tough but try not to. Advice I was given was to walk away before they send you away. It is really really tough though....

Sparticle · 01/09/2020 09:13

Thanks, I’ll try! I thought we were pretty organised but there seems to be tons of stuff to do this morning, like the last minute bits that need to be packed (chargers, water bottle, last items of clothes that have been labelled etc). We’ve also had an email from the HM this morning changing some of their daily arrangements eg they won’t be allowed back into the house in the daytime so no toast/snacks at break times and breakfasts are going to be staggered - instead of DS being woken by matron at 7:30, house meetings then breakfast at 8, which is what has always been in the boarding induction instructions and we’ve been preparing DS for, this week he will be in the early group so breakfast at 7:15! Seems very early for boys who are starting high school tomorrow too. DS seems alright but I’m not hugely happy they they only sprung some of these changes on us today - surely they must’ve known for a week or so?

It’s probably just my nerves getting me irritated :(

Devlesko · 01/09/2020 14:00

Hello everyone.
I was looking for a thread, thanks for starting this one.

Mine is just entering Y12 so will have her own room and bathroom, out of choice.
They have been sorted into households for lessons and free time, and they can only mix with this household unless socially distanced and masked.

The question about Tuck boxes and trunks.
Mine has always taken suitcases, this year they are allowed two which has to include bedding.
On the bedding note, I would advise one of those mattress toppers and protectors. The beds aren't always comfy, and the topper if thick can be a huge help.

Devlesko · 01/09/2020 14:02

Oh, tuck, I forgot.
I send mine with tins with cakes, biscuits, chocolate and healthier snacks like breakfast bars.
Don't spend lots on tuck boxes if you don't want to.

Sparticle · 01/09/2020 19:16

Well we’ve done it and it went better than I expected. We dropped DS off, no tears, and stayed and chatted with some of the resident tutors and had a biscuit. Just before we left, the HM came and said he was already playing pool with one of his roommates which was brilliant. DH and I will definitely be drinking Wine tonight.

Soma · 01/09/2020 19:27

Sparticle fantastic news. DH is having a wobble at the moment, so I'm trying to be the brave one.

I've only had to sew labels a casual top, and three pairs of sports socks, as DD loves sewing labels, she's nearly done it all.
I've got a spread sheet of evening DD needs, including evening and formal wear. Although its hard to know how many formal events will go ahead this term.

Polly99 · 01/09/2020 19:31

We dropped DD today. She's in a room with two chatterboxes and one quiet girl, all of whom joined the school last year so I expect they'll take her under their wings. When I left one of them was offering to help DD make her bed.
We only stayed to bring DDs luggage to the room and then left. The other girls were there without parents and a more drawn out goodbye wouldn't have been good.

I'm honestly exhausted now! And I can't wait to decontaminate her pit of a room properly...

Devlesko · 01/09/2020 20:38

If you are dropping off for the first time today and you are able to post on here you are doing well.
Mine started in Y7, I cried constantly until Christmas holiday, was so ill.
It wasn't my decision though and was overruled, so that didn't help.

If you don't hear from them for a while it might be because they are so busy and don't have the time. or sometimes they are asked not to contact home so as to help with homesickness.

If they are homesick this is normal too, they all handle settling in differently. Mine was never homesick and helped the others, so much so she's the default support for kids struggling now Grin

Polly99 · 01/09/2020 21:08

That sounds hard Devlesko. Mine's a bit older (just 14) so although I'll miss her it is perhaps a bit easier for her to be going. In many ways she was already quite independent.

I was a boarder too and have suggested to DD she might try not to call me for 2 weeks so as to settle in. I honestly think it helps. Though I did tell her that the odd text saying "I'm fine" would be v welcome! I've also asked her housemistress to ping me the odd email so I know she is ok.

Devlesko · 01/09/2020 23:03

Polly

Thank you, she's Y12 now, but I remember the sadness and emptiness. I think it's just as hard whether it's the child's decision or family decision.
I remember a few years ago reading on here about a certain school, can't remember which, where the parents stopped in the first layby and cried.
I still cry now, but not for long and then find my normal. I would never have stopped her and her dreams.

HidingInACupboard · 01/09/2020 23:57

Loved reading this thread! My nephew is leaving for boarding next weekend and I wanted to pack him a basket of useful stuff but this is the first boarder we’ve had so looking for suggestions please?! I was thinking some toiletries, a rubix cube, some chocolate.....you see I need help! My eldest is 10 so no idea what a 13 yr old would find helpful or cool. Thank you!

Fumzzy · 02/09/2020 10:26

We have been asked just one person can enter the dorm with face mask on and no visits until exeat which is 3 weeks. Covid reasons

Zodlebud · 02/09/2020 13:21

We have to drop our children and their luggage outside the boarding house and then say our goodbyes from there. Nobody other than children and staff are permitted in any school building.

I get it, but it’s her first time boarding - going into Y7 and a new school. She seems totally fine about it. Me, I’m not so sure, although at least the goodbye will be short and sweet so probably less painful!!

Sparticle · 03/09/2020 12:31

What sort of things do other people send in the post to their DC? I'm looking for ideas of things I don't have to go to post over the counter, ie I can just pop in a post box. What do you tend to send?

And @HidingInACupboard I'm afraid I'm new to all this but I'm sure someone else will be able to advise :)

Motorcyclemptiness · 03/09/2020 15:25

Magazines, and sweets now, things like fidget spinners and comics during prep school

ChequerBoard · 03/09/2020 15:50

Ours are going back tonight. Just finishing the last bits of packing up. DD17 obviously is doing her own packing, DS13 needs a lot of help (or he would be going without half his stuff). House looks like a bomb sure as a result - will be spending tomorrow cleaning up ready for them going back again on Saturday!

ChequerBoard · 03/09/2020 15:51

About to cook a 'last supper' of toad in the hole by special request..

AutumnLady · 04/09/2020 10:12

Can I join in? DS off on sunday to state boarding - we’ve been told no tuck boxes allowed ☹️ He had a bit of a wobble on Wednesday evening but otherwise seems fine. I’m starting to feel more nervous than him!

Sparticle · 04/09/2020 12:11

How are you @ChequerBoard? Hope it went okay last night?

@AutumnLady my DS started at state boarding this week (hence all my questions on here!). It's a shame about yours not being allowed a tuck box :(

And thanks @Motorcyclemptiness - we have some postcards to pop in our first letter today. DS should be allowed his phone tonight so we are hoping for a call later!

ChequerBoard · 04/09/2020 13:58

@Sparticle all went OK thanks, but very strange not to go into the houses to settle them in and help unpack. Especially as DS13 has just moved up to a new house.

DD17 happy as a clam, excited to see all her friends and set up her much coveted study bedroom on the top floor of the sixth form girls boarding house.

DS13 has a little wobble after his first trip into his new Y9 house. Due to Covid he hadn't had the usual tour round at the end of Y8 so wasn't expecting the different layout (despite us and DD explaining it) plus he is in a room of 3 with 2 new boys and was a bit put out not to be with his friends. He soon recovered though and was absolutely fine by the time we left.

Looking forward to picking them up in Sat lunchtime and hearing all about the first couple of days.

Devlesko · 04/09/2020 17:18

AutumnLady

We have been told the same, mine used to be able to take all manner of things and she's disappointed about her plants.
I'm sure she'll buy some at first opportunity.
They seem reluctant to allow the usual home comforts, but I suppose this is to help with cleaning.

Londonmummy66 · 04/09/2020 22:29

Dropped out for a couple of days due to frantic packing and labelling... DC1 back today with very little stuff as most of it was left behind when lock down started and school transported it to new boarding house. We weren't even allowed to carry stuff up the steps so had to give a goodbye hug on the pavement. Sad

I hope everyone else will have a good farewell to relate!

DD starts on Sunday - I still can't believe I'll have no children at home next week. DD has unbelievable amounts of stuff - 8 musical instruments (including a full sized concert harp), bike, skateboard, 3 suitcases (stack inside each other though), bedding, tuckbox (very full and heavy), fencing kit, hockey stick and 2 large carrier bags of stationery as she doesn't think the school stuff is pretty enough. PLus massive cuddly dog that I am hoping will not fit in the car...... Blush

Original poster
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 04/09/2020 23:27

Hello all
Not been on as moved house and had no internet.
Everyone else has gone to bed. First two are back tomorrow.
Guess what I’m doing? Yup, sewing on labels...

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