Weekly Boarding Prep School

[Fr0thandBubble]

I’m looking for a weekly boarding prep school for DS, who is about to turn 7.

I’m looking for somewhere nurturing mainly. DS has a diagnosis of autism, although it’s very mild and he’s just a little bit quirky really, and perhaps his concentration isn’t quite as good as it might otherwise be. He’s not brilliant at sport either although always happy to give things a try. Basically, he doesn’t need any special educational needs provision but a hothouse which focuses on getting children into the likes of Eton, etc., probably isn’t for him.

Location-wise, anywhere within 2 hours of SW London would work.

Any ideas would be much appreciated!

@Fr0thandBubble I would add that an unhappy experience at a day school is not comparable to one at a boarding prep school. Stories of how happy friends children were at particular prep schools are not really relevant , I would not discuss the details of my son treatment at his boarding prep with friends to protect his privacy. Also because of the shame and regret which I feel for sending him there.

His senior school is a different matter , it is obvious how happy he is . His eyes light up when he talks about it. He has asked us never to mention his prep school in our home again.
You can gain entry to any senior school from a state school , if I were you that is that is route I would take.

You said “kids who boarded at 8 were the ones with the real problems”. I’m sorry but that is a ridiculous generalisation and hugely judgmental. At the right schools, prep or senior, the vast majority of the children should be happy and well adjusted. That was certainly my experience. Of course there is that 10% of children for whom it’s not a positive experience and mind you the same happens at day school. I’m sorry if your children were perhaps in the unhappy minority or if you were at a school that wasn’t providing a happy environment for the children but that isn’t a reason to make sweeping generalisations about all boarding schools, all children etc and to pass judgment on a mother whose child will have his own personal and very different experience from yours. Live and let live please!

Well my ds2 weekly boarded from age 8.5 and he loved it. (He’s now 12 ) His older brother was also boarding with him but they didn’t actually hang out together, preferring to play with friends their own age. The school had four boys in year 4 weekly board only.
The reason my two days loved boarding at that age as they are very driven and the school offered evening activities in their chosen hobbies. So they found school more stimulating than long drives back and forth to home every day (“dead time” they said!)
I can’t comment on how being on the spectrum affects boarding experience etc as I have zero knowledge. But I can say that boarding At aged 8 in 2019 can be a brilliant experience. My boys’ prep school is perpchial being many hours from London and only feels other parochial senior schools. As far from Ludgrove and Eton etc as it is possible to be!

Are you the Queen writing from 1956?

You sound a bit stressed minsy. Perhaps you should have a spa day.

Hmm ok. Boarding school doesn’t stress me out quite the contrary I think the good ones are great for most kids. I do have a strong aversion to the anti boarding school shamers who feel so comfortable spreading their negativity publicly, I just don’t understand why they believe that’s acceptable in any way.

Weekly boarding has been such a great thing for my ASD dd. Admittedly she was 13 when she started. But she worked out that not having to move from home to school each day, and doing all your work at school rather than at home was a good thing for her. She asked to try weekly boarding and it's been a life changer. I see her at least once a week for a trip out to costa coffee which we both look forward to and she is doing really really well.
OP - we have found by trial and error (mainly error) that dd needs the smallest school available. Just something you might consider for your ds.
Good luck.

BlankTimes, my son is currently being assessed and we, like the OP, have also been told that our sons autism is mild. Those actual words were used by the paediatrician. I asked if the school nursery will accept him when he's due to start and she said yes of course, whatever (my sons name) has, is mild and he is high functioning.

It's a spectrum and doctors will use terms like mild, moderate or severe because we aren't doctors and don't understand the terms they use so they simplify it for us to give us a good understanding.

So to correct you, yes there is such a thing as mild autism, according to my sons paediatrician anyway. Just because the guidlines give you information, it doesn't mean it's right. A childs own doctor is more qualified to describe how severe they think it is and where they are on the spectrum

@1805 That’s good to hear. Is your DD’s school a mainstream school? I think my DS would get on better at a small school too (when the time comes, which I’ve decided won’t be until he is at least 11).

yes it's mainstream but lots of pupils there have some sort of issue with dyslexia or processing etc. They can alter the education to suit the child though i.e. - drop a subject and sit in the library instead, change year group, class sizes probably average around 6-8, some 1-2-1 tuition at GCSE and A level.

The downside of a tiny school is no school orchestra, infrequent wins in sports games, and small scale drama productions.

I boarded from 8, loved it. Started 1 night a week thrn I asked to do more until I did weekly. Then sometimes asked to stay weekends. It's fun to be with friends. My parent always asked me what I wanted. Just ask him. Chose one close enough so he can do day and boarding. I don't get the numbers as my school had plenty of 8 year old boarders.

I don't get the numbers as my school had plenty of 8 year old boarders

Prep boarding has almost completely died out for under 10s/under 11s in the past five years. Anyone basing what they are saying on this thread on experiences that are more than a couple of years old will find that their views are outdated.

We moved DC1 to a non selective private school in yr3. Academically the children at the private school weren't much better than the old state school. I had been concerned she would be behind but I was wrong. However there were also safeguarding issues at the state school and we had lost trust in the HT. The extra curricular activities are far superior but not worth boarding for.
If he is happy where he is and making good progress I would leave him where he is. What do you hope to get out of moving him?

OP, you may want to make your decision based on what a professional says, preferably someone who knows or has seen your son for diagnosis. Another step is to talk to preps that may have experience. Since you are in London, you may consider attending this event in Chelsea taking place in January.

www.highfieldschool.org.uk/highfield-ages-8-to-13-/educating-outside-london?utm_source=Radley&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Outside_London

Good luck

There are two documentaries on YouTube - one about Sunningdale and one about Highfield about kids who board from 8. Both great documentaries and although the schools look nice, it is absolutely heartbreaking to watch those little boys and girls cope with homesickness. I don’t get how any school facilities can possibly be worth it?! These are little kids who try to be strong and block out missing their parents by keeping busy at school. But why on earth would any parent inflict this on their kid? I cannot understand it and I speak as someone who had parents move countries for work regularly in my childhood. I went to 6 different schools in various countries and never in my worst nightmares would I have preferred to be away from home and board! There is always a better option

That’s the documentary about Highfield m.youtube.com/watch?v=d6vfjWBT45o

And this is the one about Sunningdale m.youtube.com/watch?v=QCVrCPmlChU

@XelaM Go and get some professional help for your past hurts. It's not your business how some parents choose to educate their children. People like you who come out against boarding have never shown any real data to support your claims. The children who board at 8 are not the ones I see on the news killing each other or with the many problems affecting society. Instead, they seem to be the people starting innovative businesses, creating jobs and being leaders. It's not illegal to have an 8 year old board.

@MyCruiseControl Err... were you also taught your good manners at boarding school?... I have no past hurts, but I appreciate your (very polite) concern. If there are only around 250 boarders under 11 in the whole country statistically it's quite unlikely that they would take up news headlines. Similarly, I have never come across anyone who has boarded at 8 in real life and I work in the City and most of my clients/contacts/colleagues are "people starting innovative businesses, creating jobs and being leaders".

It's certainly not illegal to send your child away at 8, but I was merely commenting on the two documentaries that were filmed at two boarding schools where children started at 8. If you wouldn't be heartbroken knowing your 8-year-old child was crying every day for weeks (months?) asking to go home to their mum, begging on the phone to be taken back then I don't know what to say to be honest. In the Highfield documentary the "solution" to this little girl crying and begging to go home was for the mother to have even LESS contact with her and actually stop phoning (because the phone calls reminded the little girl - who looked remarkably similar to my own daughter - of home too much).

Why on earth would anyone want to pay such a high price (on top of the actual fees) for school? How can it be in the child's best interest?

tnschool.co.uk/

Hello,
I have just come across your message,I am in the same boat as you !
wondering where you sent your son as I'm registered with around 5 different prep boys boarding schools.
would be great to discuss this with you.

regards Amanda

I know lots of boys who have and are boarding at 7 and 8 years old .

It really depends on which private school you put your child to! some are far academic than State schools

Hi Op, would you consider one of the choral schools. They don’t just have choristers, but other children too. Critically for you is that they have a number of younger boarders. Pilgrims school in Winchester is within your 2hours from Sw London. These schools tend to be quite small, with the boys being known individually by the staff.