Does anyone else think the Duke of Edinburgh scheme is deliberately designed as a torment for parents?

[EllenMP]

Just that, really. Who thought this was a good idea for 14 year olds? Do 14 year olds know what volunteering opportunities are available to them? Do they have to pay for the skills lessons they will be needing? Can they drive themselves about to their weekly skills and volunteering sessions? Do they understand what they need to do to document their activities and will they do it without nagging and assistance? Are they able to beg, borrow or steal (and ultimately buy, of course) full camping equipment to be used for two short "expeditions"?

I mean, I'm glad someone is taking my kid camping, because God knows I don't plan to do so, but I feel there must be a simpler way to achieve that. It's not like a Bronze award means so much that it's worth the extra effort. I say at least skip it until they are 16 or so and can manage more of the organising on their own. But then they have exams to worry about and it's one more layer of stress they don't need.

The whole thing is too much like hard work. For me, I mean. But also for them.

I think it's really good for the teenagers to get used to organising themselves.

Mine definitely needed some encouragement to get going (as did most of their friends)' but then us parents backed off, and the teenagers organised the activities themselves (as they should)'

Yes I do drive them around sometimes, but that's part of being a parent!

It's definitely been interesting watching mine develop their independence. As long as you let them go at their own speed, most will complete the different aspects in the end.

The only friend of my kids who dropped out was one who expected the school to organise everything for him.

At bronze level my parents didn't have to do much at all. Certainly no organisation. All camping equipment, except sleeping bags and walking boots was provided by the school.

At silver and gold I decided to volunteer for the lifeboat which did mean some Sunday morning training sessions that my father had to drive me to because of the reduced Sunday train service.

I’m with you op. With an ASD DC that can barely pack their own rucksack it’s a bloody nightmare. I know there won’t be any documenting activities. It horribly stressful (for me) and despite doing it through scouting where they could have started at silver they have started them all on bronze which, as far as I can tell, doesn’t count for an awful lot.

I’m glad for the parkrun suggestions though so thank you.

So much negativity!

DofE gave my son the push he needed to sort his life out, follow things through and improve skills. He didn't complete gold due to the group leader moving away from the area and the school being unable to find a replacement.

It gave him motivation and physical fitness plus a different attitude to his life. He is now a confident, friendly and reliable man with a decent job. Had he stayed where he was in terms of personal development I suspect he would have followed the same route as most of his then friends, drink and dabbling with drugs.

I can't speak any more highly of the scheme although I wish it was financially available to the people who would most benefit.

which, as far as I can tell, doesn’t count for an awful lot

When I did it, I did it for fun. I wasn't looking for a qualification.

I am with you. It is a lot of work and expense for the parents. I am glad dd is doing it though.

I didn't bother doing Duke of Edinburgh. Sounded like a lot of effort and expense that I really didn't need. Was told I would not get into uni without it.

I'm graduating with Honours in June.

DC1 got their current job because of having gold DofE - got to interview based on academic criteria, bonded with the interviewer over hiking.

My DS did Bronze, and it did him the world of good.

He is more the playing-computer-games-all-day type, and the volunteering (walking dogs) and exercise (badminton) provided a weekly structure.

He and his friends still talk and laugh about their camping experience.

Parents do need to get involved, but overall we have found it a very positive experience.

OP doesn’t your child do any extra curricular already? Most clubs would fall in to either the physical or skill category, it doesn’t have to be a new thing. For example I did ballet and flute, both of which I already did. Does the school offer lunch/after school clubs they can do, usually for free?

In terms of volunteering, maybe look in to scouts or guides - specifically volunteering with cubs, rainbows etc. They’re usually keen for volunteers and will take 14 year olds.

The expeditions are one of my fondest memories of my teenage years. I don’t think my parents had to buy anything - to be fair they did own a fair amount of stuff I could use but we borrowed the rest. Worth asking the provider if they have stuff they can borrow?

It’s such a shame you can’t see the value of this scheme. You shouldn’t be organising them, let them get on with it. If they don’t arrange stuff, they don’t get the award. Simple!

Definitely volunteer at parkrun. My son has just done his there. I had to drive him there but I also ran the parkrun as well. So did me some good as well!

It's like so much else in childhood: really beneficial to the kid, but hard to access if your parents can't be arsed or don't have the money. I wish the D of E organisation did more to combat this.

I was lucky enough to have a school which loaned us basic tents, camping stoves and rucksacks. Getting me hiking boots and a sleeping bag was a major expense for my parents and they couldn't give me lifts anywhere. We were in the middle of nowhere, so I relied on walking, cycling and lifts from friends' parents. It meant I didn't get to pick and choose activities, but at least I often did them with my mates.

At university it was a lot easier to access this stuff and finish my Gold. Don't forget that you get a pretty long time to finish it in, and a lot of stuff gets more accessible as you get older.

The whole thing was often tough going but it was HUGELY helpful for me. I was forced to become a lot more resilient and resourceful than I would have been otherwise. I wish everybody got to have a fair crack at it. Though if you get too spoonfed with it all then I don't think you really get the benefit.

I think DoE is great, really encourages independence, you shouldn’t be sorting everything out for your child.

There are volunteering opportunities in many charity shops, I manage a charity shop & I have had lots of DoE volunteers and I make sure it is interesting for them, not just cleaning the shelves . All of them have stayed on after their three month commitment because they enjoy it so much.

My DS’s school stopped offering DoE which I think is a real shame.

I agree it's hard work for parents. neither of mine are 'mixers' so I really pushed them to sign up. It's been great for them.

Volunteering hasn't been an issue, my local parkrun is packed to the rafters with DofE kids. Mine were a bit eye rolly about it at first, but I think they really enjoy it now, one has even asked for a few weeks off so he can run it. The organisers make them do the proper jobs, not just standing around. We've gone beyond the number of weeks we needed to do, they want to get their 25 volunteer tshirt!

The skill has proven tricky!

Agree it's more work for me than them though.

I think DoE has changed over the years. When I did it back in the 80s it was a club that had nothing to do with school. We met once a week, planned our expeditions, learned all sorts of skills around cooking, map reading etc. The leader was a fab man (and his wife helped too) who had a wealth of knowledge and ideas to help us through. The 18/19 yo gold candidates supported the Bronze newbies. We made friends and became a team over the years as we moved through the levels.
I was so excited for my DD to try DoE, but her experience was so different. No regular meetings, just a couple to plan the expeditions. No support at all about anything other than the expedition. No new friends. An absolutely joyless experience.

Both of mine are doing DofE.
Dd2 is extremely shy and absolutely refused to do anything involving interacting with people who she doesn’t know for the volunteering section so she is weeding graves in our local church yard once a week.
Transforming a grave covered in weeds into something clear and tidy is very satisfying. I love her before and after photos.

I am a Rainbows Leader and I am so grateful to all the DofE volunteers that we get. The parents should be really proud of them. They are always reliable, responsible and so kind to the little girls.

Some of them even choose to stay on and help for years after they need to. I think they are incredible giving up so much of their time to help other people. I hope my children choose to do it.

Thank you to the parents for giving them the lifts to and from their volunteering! It makes a big difference to your community.

I'm not keen. Think it is a middle class tick box for most.

Yes, unfortunately this is true. And MC children get their DoE facilitated by their schools/parents to a ridiculous extent, as they do everything else in their lives.

The volunteering was easy, they went to a nursing home and read to the residents, school lent them camping equipment, the only thing we paid for was a sport as dd didn't do any (skill was her existing singing)

In dd's area, they can borrow equipment from one of the local activity centres, so we didn't have to buy anything, so this is worth checking.

Her skill was cooking - obviously there were costs involved, but we were going to all eat the results.

We are in a city, so lots of volunteer opportunities. And yes, sometimes 14 year olds are not the most helpful of volunteers, but that's all part of the experience, isn't it, being exposed to different environments, and meeting people out of your age and social circle.

'A middle class tick box' - there were kids on my daughter's expedition who had never done anything like that, and would probably have never had the chance, so I don't think that's completely fair.

Aww Chess, it was lovely to read your post. My too-cool-for-school 15 yo DD has volunteered at Brownies for her DofE and absolutely loves it (slightly to her and our surprise). She is definitely going to keep it up beyond her required time and she's made a new mate in the other DofE volunteer who goes to a different school. Its been a brilliant experience for her so I'm glad it sounds as though in general they are useful as well!

Admittedly I don't have experience of this as a parent, as my children are still small. But I did DOE myself as a teenager.

I volunteered at a Rainbow guide group, which I continued until I left home and I believe this directly contributed to me getting a childcare job immediately after leaving school.
My skill was music lessons that I was already doing (free in school) - music is now my career!
Physical - I swam and still do as an adult. Surely every child should be doing at least some form of physical exercise anyway? Walking/running/cycling (If you have a bike) is free...

If your child has no motivation to do more than mooch about uselessly in a charity shop for a few weeks, or to come up with a few ideas of skills they could learn that don't cost a fortune or require a lift somewhere 20 miles away, then DofE is not compulsory! You seem to be seeing it as a ticking box chore rather than something your kids could and should be learning actual life skills from.

I agree schools should do all they can to make sure it is accessible to those on low incomes and those with disabilities though.

Neither of my two have done it and I'm glad as it sounds very expensive.

Saying that dd did volunteer to help out at the Summer Reading Challenge at our local library but I doubt if she's have clocked up enough hours as many days no-one turned up. On the days they did she helped children to choose books and do craft activities. on the days no one turned up she drank tea with the library staff and tidied the bookshelves.

I did my bronze over 40 years ago . My parents had zero input as it wasnt needed . I and everyone else who did it with me were perfectly capable of completing it without any help ( which is probably the whole point of it ! )
I wanted to do the silver award , but unfortunatley my school stopped doing it

I think it should be compulsory tbh