Does anyone else think the Duke of Edinburgh scheme is deliberately designed as a torment for parents?

[EllenMP]

Just that, really. Who thought this was a good idea for 14 year olds? Do 14 year olds know what volunteering opportunities are available to them? Do they have to pay for the skills lessons they will be needing? Can they drive themselves about to their weekly skills and volunteering sessions? Do they understand what they need to do to document their activities and will they do it without nagging and assistance? Are they able to beg, borrow or steal (and ultimately buy, of course) full camping equipment to be used for two short "expeditions"?

I mean, I'm glad someone is taking my kid camping, because God knows I don't plan to do so, but I feel there must be a simpler way to achieve that. It's not like a Bronze award means so much that it's worth the extra effort. I say at least skip it until they are 16 or so and can manage more of the organising on their own. But then they have exams to worry about and it's one more layer of stress they don't need.

The whole thing is too much like hard work. For me, I mean. But also for them.

The volunteering bit is far too hard. ‘Read to children in libraries’ the booklet says. Not that easy!

We looked at something environmental but couldn’t find anything thatbwas an hour a week, they were all a day a month.

Tell me about it, DS came home full of enthusiasm about it but he's physically disabled so the school can't (won't?) do the expedition which means I have to organise it with a separate provider and it's another thing he doesn't get to do with his friends. Needless to say there are no 'disability specialist' providers within 50 miles. Sigh...

That’s dreadful. Our school has gone to extraordinary lengths to ensure a disabled student can do an expedition.

Who thought this was a good idea for 14 year olds? Well, the Duke of Edinburgh, in the first place . But since then, millions of people.

Do 14 year olds know what volunteering opportunities are available to them? Well, my 3 all did. There are loads of ideas on the website. Most groups running DofE will also have initial talks before people sign up, and often people will have meetings afterwards, and there will be Leaders available if they are really stuck.

Do they have to pay for the skills lessons they will be needing? Well, no, quite often, people use a skill they are already learning anyway. Sometimes Leaders will facilitate a 'skills section' for the Group. A Scout led DofE group near here are all doing archery for example and the instructor is giving his time for free. A member of staff at my ds's school did a term's worth of cookery lessons after school, giving her time for free (yes, I suppose it cost us in ingredients, but we had a meal cooked for us in exchange each week)

Can they drive themselves about to their weekly skills and volunteering sessions?

Obviously not old enough to drive, but - depending on where you live - many youngsters have bus or train passes, or can walk or cycle to what they are doing. Though, frankly, I don't resent driving my dc to activities when need be - it is part of what you do as a parent.

Do they understand what they need to do to document their activities Not usually at first, but that is part of the learning curve. DofE should be about developing the young person

....and will they do it without nagging and assistance? Probably not, but, once again, that is part of parenting - most dc go through spells of needing to be nagged for the details of activities they love - again, learning to organise oneself is part of the skills gained

Are they able to beg, borrow or steal (and ultimately buy, of course) full camping equipment to be used for two short "expeditions"? ds's school had quite a lot of equipment the youngsters who didn't have equipment could borrow. Scouts will usually help their youngsters, as will guides. Many youngsters will have equipment for other things they do, or yes, can borrow from family / friends / neighbours.

The whole thing is too much like hard work. For me, I mean.
How sad. I was thrilled to be at Buckingham Palace last year, to watch my ds being presented with his Gold award. I see supporting them through learning outside of school to be just as important as learning within lessons. It is part of what we committed to, in becoming parents.

But also for them. My dc didn't find it to be too much like hard work.

Well I chose not to take part when I was at school because I knew I was crap at all those things and I wasn't expecting anyone else to do the hard work for me. If your kid wants to do it then they need to step up I'd say.

Dofe has options for kids with disabilities. Where I work we had a blind girl do it a couple of years ago...

My DD got a lot out of bronze DofE.
But:

• her skill was one she was doing already
• her volunteering she walked to
• we already had most of the required equipment

So the Physical was the only one that needed real effort from us. However she picked one her younger sister could do too so we got more benefit from all the driving.

It's maybe not the most accessible thing for those from lower income families or non-driving families

The volunteering bit is far too hard. ‘Read to children in libraries’ the booklet says. Not that easy!

For Bronze my youngest did this through the school library, reading with Year 7s and my eldest volunteered at the local library during the Summer Reading Challenge.

On a practical level - a lot of parkrun volunteering is for DofE. May be an option if you have a local one?

Oh I hear you. My son skipped Bronze as he did the gold Scout award instead, and is now progressing through Silver. We have had no end of issues getting him to commit to which skill he wants to develop. Parkrun is ideal for the physical element as you can log in and see all of the results online. But yes, I spend my entire life organising him and driving him places.

I can see both sides of the volunteering thing. It can be hard to find things to do. Our school helps with suggestions but it is up to the child to sort it out themselves - which is as it should be.

But I also volunteer in a charity shop and we get a LOT of D of E kids through. They are, on the whole, as much use as a chocolate teapot. They are not interested in the job, the charity or making a contribution. They want to do their bare minimum of an hour a week for 12 weeks and then bugger off again. Manager has had to ban there being more than 1 D of E kid in at a time as they do no work. You get the odd one who's an absolute gem and gets stuck in as best they can, but 95% of them spend their hour wandering aimlessly around the shop, or half-heartedly steaming two items before putting on their coats and going home again. No charity wants a volunteer who is only there because they have to be, and certainly not a 14 year old one.

I think you either see it as a good thing to have and put the effort in with your children, or don't.

If I am honest I don't really like taking my son to rugby training and matches but I do it because it is good for him. I would rather stay in bed on a Sunday morning though!

We love our d of e volunteers at cubs and beavers. The younger kids look up to them. I had to laugh after one of our best volunteers first session, poor child was shell shocked "are they always this loud?" But they kept up and are really valuable and almost all ours do every week for nearly a year. Fabulous scheme and i can't wait until my two do it. Mind you they're already scouts so some of it they already do.

If you had meant the torment of having my babies sleeping out on dartmoor with no reassurance then I would be with you (but even that is good for me as wells).

I do wish there was more access for poorer families, and shame on schools and centres that don’t have accessible route options, I too know centres that have included wheelchair friendly options.

I thought driving your kids around / encouraging them to get themselves motivated was you know part of the job description?

I second the suggestion of Parkrun as volunteering (or physical activity).

DC living in cities and reasonable sized towns probably need less ferrying than those more rural. And of course, Sod's law will mean your DC has a burning passion to do an activity which is in a public transport black hole

Lots of young people get their volunteering hours by helping at Park Run near me. Very helpful for Park Run and very easy for the young people.

Ds1 didn't do bronze. He suggested he went straight in to silver.
But, I didn't feel that Ds1 was committed enough to it. I felt like it was me who would be doing all the hard work. So I told Ds1 so. And he didn't do it.

Just seen that others have already made the same suggestion.

Go Park Run

I'm not keen. Think it is a middle class tick box for most.

It's meant to foster independence! That's the bloody point!

The driving is the only bit that is a pita for me. because despite what maybe on the website, there are limited volunteering opportunities for dc under 16. For bronze DS volunteered at the library. The library shuts at 5, so the only way for him to get there in time after school was for me to rush home from work and drive him. For silver he is helping at park run which is 3 miles away at 8.30. There is no public transport, and t's not a nice route to cycle in dark or cold (he has been since weather nicer). Other than that the point is to organise the stuff themselves, so I've left him to it. If he doesn't get organised and finish, well, that's his choice. For me the point of the DoE is learning the skills to manage it yourself, not getting the badge at the end.

Bronze -
volunteering - at Sunday school both DS and DD - both still do this at least every other week now
Skill - learnt basic Japanese at after school club - totally free DS

• developed cookery skills at home, took photos and wrote a log for teacher to sign off - DD - yes cost ingredients but we are all the food

Physical - clubs they both did anyway, no extra cost or effort from us. Expedition - yes did need lifts to start and from finish, but we shared them with other families. We did buy their food but had the equipment as they camp with us and scouts anyway. Gold - only DS done this, we go to the palace on Monday! Volunteering as above Skill - engineering via Engineering Education Scheme - after school, free. Physical - independent cycling, logged via Strava, no input from us required as already had bike, culminated in a solo cross country 2 day 200k trip carrying tent, clothes etc. Residential - week at university Head Start scheme - cost an arm and a leg, but was doing it anyway to explore if engineering at university was for him - no extra cost for us Expedition - independent travel there and back via train. We did buy a new rucksack for him but he needed one to take to university anyway. So, some implication for us, but honestly very little, bar the (high because school outsourced it) cost of doing the scheme to begin with. That made me cross, as meant a lot of children could not access it as too expensive, but the actual carrying out of the award had little effort for us. I appreciate our kids live in a city, have lots of activities on tap, and frankly bar the expedition didn't have to do a lot extra as they did (and still do) a variety of things anyway.

it's perfectly possible to do the expeditions with a disability - DC2 had DC1 accompany their group for both bronze and silver due to their medical condition, and allowances were made for transporting rucksacks; I know at least one visually impaired DC get to at least silver; and a local school for DC with additional needs had a student at DC1's gold presentation at the Palace.

If a group don't offer support for disabilities, it's due to the leaders, and not DofE. Admittedly it can be tricky to get things approved at county level, but it can be done.

I did it to Gold, school was very supportive. Parents had no idea what I was up to, so didn't get involved at all beyond paying for my (ongoing) karate classes. My main criticism of the scheme is around access for kids on lower incomes. Yes in theory you can get camping stuff etc for free if you beg/borrow online, but round our way it only seems to be the more affluent families doing that.