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Original poster

I know this is mild punishment, but would you be O.K with it?

68 replies

macwoozy · 10/07/2007 22:53

My ds told me that whilst in class, all his classmates were handed out biscuits for 'being good' but because my ds had been naughty that day, he wasn't allowed any. He's 7 years.

OP posts:

katelyle · 10/07/2007 22:54

Seems fine to me - what's the problem?

quadrophenia · 10/07/2007 22:55

thats a crap punishment, it lacks imagination. Wouldn't be happy about my child having food withheld as a punishment tbh.

fingerwoman · 10/07/2007 22:55

I wouldn't be ok with using food as a reward, especially not biscuits.
If he had been naughty then they should have a set way of dealing with that and the biscuit thing shouldn't be any part of that.
unless they always get a biscuit for being good???

Heated · 10/07/2007 22:55

No problem with this. Although not nice to miss out, kids have to learn that if they are not nice there are consequences for poor behaviour. He probably won't repeat the 'offence' and therefore lesson learnt.

PeachesMcLean · 10/07/2007 22:55

So long as he knew what he'd done, then yes, I'd be fine with it. Would hope that it's done consistently though.

binkleandflip · 10/07/2007 22:56

Not the most cutting edge form of punishment for misbehaving but not terrible either.

fingerwoman · 10/07/2007 22:57

that depends. if they were all told "today we'll be having biscuits, but those that misbehave won't get one" that is one thing.
but if it was just "here's some biscuits, oh by the way you can't have one you were naughty" then it's another.

and assuming they don't have a biscuit reward system on a fdaily basis (which i would def have a problem with) then it's presumably the latter

Blu · 10/07/2007 22:58

I'd be more mildly concerned if biscuits were a regular reward. But they probably aren't. And i wouldn't bother about one being witheld. And I certainly wouldn't say anything to the school.

cornsilk · 10/07/2007 22:58

If he was the only one in the class not to get one then it is not okay.

meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 22:58

What did he do? What would have been an appropriate punishment?

katylui1 · 10/07/2007 23:01

My DS (7) told me the same thing not so long ago...I mentioned it quietly to his teacher and she denied it. I later found out that he wanted a biscuit when we got home...perhaps I had been pushing the fruit a bit hard that week. He is PFB and I am just discovering that children are able to manipulate

fingerwoman · 10/07/2007 23:02

do you not think that if biscuits aren't a regular reward and it was just a special treat that all the kids should get one?
his being naughty should have been dealt with in the usual manner- however they usually punish bad behaviour. Not by withdrawing a treat that they may not have even known was coming.

meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 23:04

I was asking. Not offering an opinion.

donnie · 10/07/2007 23:04

sounds fishy to me - I would be doubtful that this actually happened in the way your ds said it did.

Reallytired · 10/07/2007 23:08

fgs biscuits are a treat. He he was naughty then it serves him right not getting a biscuit.

The only objection 'I would have is that getting biscuits for being good doesn't fit in with a healthy eating policy.

cat64 · 10/07/2007 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

binkleandflip · 10/07/2007 23:15

Yesterday was dd's first sports day. They all did well and for a treat they each got ......a gherkin!! Think she was even less impressed with that gherkin than your son was with not gettting a biscuit!!

meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 23:15

PMSL!!

cat64 · 10/07/2007 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cornsilk · 10/07/2007 23:17

A gherkin! Was that teacher taking the piss!

binkleandflip · 10/07/2007 23:18

yes, she bit into it with such excitement and anticipation - imagining it to be some exotic sweetie she'd never encountered I suppose - the look on her face was classic....

(dont tend to feed her on gherkins much at home y'see)

kid · 10/07/2007 23:20

At my DCs school, once a week a group of children are allowed to cook. The biscuits or cakes they cook are then shared out to the rest of the class. If someone has misbehaved, they know they will not be getting one. It seems to work well and its very unlikely the children miss out 2 weeks in a row.

Original poster

macwoozy · 10/07/2007 23:37

I asked this question to see if it was the type of punishment that was often used. I know having a biscuit denied is not the be all and end all, especially if he had been naughty, and I questioned myself whether I was becoming upset over something that might be rather trivial.

He has got high functioning autism, and has been having a particularly bad few weeks. I've not had any feedback from his teacher about it, but can tell by his really bad and angry behaviour after school that the past week or so has been unpleasant for him, and for the school as well no doubt. He finds it difficult to explain his emotions and it takes alot of effort on both our parts to get get any information from him about what happened at school, but I do know that he can't be manipulative.

He's unable to tell me in full detail about what he did wrong, but he did say that he took the glasses off a dinnerlady, why or how I don't know, possibly out of anger. He was made to write a sorry note 3 times, because he didn't write it neat enough. He never writes neatly. I do know that I'm seeing it from a very fragmented angle but ds has been a terribly angry and anxious child lately and I don't believe it's the appropriate sort of punishment, or am I totally deluded and any normal school would have suspended him ,he's in mainstream BTW.

OP posts:

snowleopard · 10/07/2007 23:43

I think any use of food as reward and (especially) punishment is a bit dodgy. Schools should be trying to teach a healthy relationship with food, among other things.

I would have liked to get a gherkin actually when I was a child, but healthwise that's probably worse than a biscuit! Full of salt and sugar.

Zazette · 11/07/2007 00:13

Mild punishment, yes - but also crass, crappy, random, inappropriate, thoughtless, ill-advised...

I would be livid if my anyone at dd's school was dim enough to think this was a good punishment for anything (except maybe nicking other people's biscuits). Not sure that you'd get very far with that argument though...

Sorry your poor boy is having such a horrid time.

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