Is it worth applying for private school?

[Rosegoldlilly]

Next year I'll have to start looking for a school for DS. I know it's early but I want to do some research. I know children do have a lot of opportunities if they go to private school compared with state school. My DS is my only child and I don't plan to have anymore, I am a single mum but his DF is very much involved and also wants the best for him.
I've read that private school have bursaries for families that otherwise couldn't afford to send their child to private school and is means tested on both parents. I really don't earn alot and his DF earns around £25Kish.
My question is would it be worth applying for private schools and applying for the bursary to see what happens? Or should I not bother as it's highly unlikely we would be considered.

I know children do have a lot of opportunities if they go to private school compared with state school

I was educated in the state & private sector. My DD has only attended state schools and has recently left with a string of grade 8s and 9s at GCSE and as many opportunities as many of her privately educated peers. I certainly wouldn't bother with the private sector at primary school level and you can't afford it.

You're training as an accountant, but I'm not sure which exams you're taking & how long it will be until you qualify. If you were fortunate enough to get a bursary for your DC's early years, you may soon find that you are not eligible for a nursery for long. Bursaries are frequently reassessed and you have the potential to be earning a good salary in the near future. Each time you receive a pay rise, you may find your bursary drops accordingly.

My debt was before my son was born and spent on me travelling around Australia. So I feel like it's irrelevant now as I've grown up and now have a tight hold on my finances.
I think the school in the village is good, haven't really looked into it too much. How would I know if it's good or not? The website is obviously going to say it's a good school and I don't know anyone in the village.

What does the Ofsted report say? Our local secondary school has just had a bad report and the parents are all muttering and saying it's doing fine because the grades are good. Until you speak to teachers, I've got 2 friends who are local teachers and neither are surprised by the report at all because their interactions with the SLT has given them the same impression.

I went to a private school on a bursary. Some things to consider:
Your child is at school with children who go on numerous holidays and can afford the best of everything. I would love to say, it doesn't matter but it does. It's tough to fit in.
Everything else costs. My fees were paid but books, uniform (which usually has to be bought from a specialist supplier), sports kit, trips...everything else has to be paid. It's a while since I was at school but my school skirt was £60. Just the skirt. My parents really struggled.
Some private schools are much better than others. It definitely helped me in social situations and most people I know, in similar circumstances have said it's helped make them confident. My grades were good but not outstanding. What do you want your son to get from school?
Think really carefully. You're making a commitment which is long term. My parents financial circumstances changed and it ended up a real challenge for my last 2 years at school. They couldn't afford trips and spent ages sourcing 2nd hand books and uniform. All because they didn't want to move me at a crucial point.

This thread is surreal. The OP is a single parent who is trying to build a career, works two days a week and has some debts. I'm sure that with hard work she can get her finances and career on track but paying for a private school from reception onwards?? My understanding is that generous financial help is available for exceptionally bright kids who have already proven their abilities--the OP's child is two!

OP, you need to focus your energies on your career and on supporting your child at home. If you work hard and make sensible decisions you will hopefully be able to do things like invest in a property near a decent state school and pay for things like tutoring as your child gets older.

koke er don't know why you think it's surreal. This is why I asked because obviously I don't know. And if you don't know something you ask don't you. Otherwise how will you know.

It's definitely worthwhile you spending the next year or so finding out about local schools (both state and private) so you can make an informed choice about what is best for your child. Does your child attend any toddler groups (or similar)? Local schools are usually a hot topic of conversation of parents of pre-schoolers (though listen carefully to discern the fact from the fourth hand gossip).

Primary school bursaries are extremely rare. Usually given from year 4 onwards and to parents that can’t maximise their income. It does not matter if you are renting or in council house. They look how much money you are left every month, your expenses and if you could potentially maximise your earnings. You should be working full time to qualify or have a disability to stop you from working. Still not a guarantee that they will have a pot allocated for bursaries or will decide to choose your child. You will have a better shot at secondary, good luck.

Our dc have been educated both privately & state, and it’s been a huge struggle financially as we are above any bursary threshold. We live in a small house in an affluent area where house prices are extortionate, and haven’t been able to pay a penny in capital off our mortgage for quite some years. And we are not alone in that regards, there are many less affluent families at our local prep. And many of the kids are being funded by grandparents chipping together etc. We chose this school for reasons other than education alone, and the local primary was just so cramped and noisy and over subscribed, we just couldn’t contemplate how any child could ever concentrate let alone learn. Our daughter is very bright and would probably do well wherever she is, but she is thriving at prep and super happy, so we feel it’s been worth every penny.

we feel it’s been worth every penny

That would be confirmational bias, you have no idea how your child would have performed at a good state school although you do suspect she'd do well anyway. As do most MC children with parents who care about education. I would say risking your families future security by not paying off your mortgage is rather unwise behaviour and you would have done better by your bright child to live within your means.

We’re not risking our family’s future at all. We are investing in it. Our eldest is at a top uni and our youngest will hopefully one day reap similar success. Our mortgage is less than a fifth of the house value, and when we are no longer paying school fees, we can go back to paying off some capital. It’s been financially straining yes, but I’m not sure it’s as reckless as you suggest.

I went to private school back in the day of government funded full bursaries. I was the only child of a single mum who lived in a 2 bed council flat from a lower-working class (possibly now considered deprived) area.

I started in year 6 (last year of junior school) and stayed until the end of upper 6th.

I passed the entrance exam with flying colours and my mum always made it my choice to go, she never made me go. I was very aware that my peers came from well off families & privileged backgrounds. It didn't really bother me or my friends.

One thing I will say though, is to make sure you can cover the extras. The cost of uniform was nuts (ours was only available from John Lewis) and needed everything right down to swimming cap, hockey stick, cookery basket, etc. Not just your normal basic uniform. (Plus we had both summer and winter uniforms) and the trips aren't your average school trips. (Luckily for my mum I had no interest in going skiing so that saved her a chunk of money)

We never went without, but my mum worked 3 jobs at one point to be able to afford everything for me to feel on a par with my peers.

For me, private school is great if you are super academic or very talented at sports. But if you're a middle of the road kid (like I was) it might not actually make a huge difference

Rosegoldlilly, OK, fair enough! We can't know the answers to things before we ask the questions and asking questions is always good, as you say. :)

My "?" reaction was more aimed at one or two posters who (when the financial difficulties of this route were pointed out) were kind of like "Oh, this is such snobbery, why shouldn't a single mum in social housing aspire to private school?" Nothing to do with telling people to stay in their place or whatever, just trying to be realistic about the difficulties here.

If your kid is really bright and you focus on doing extra work with them outside of school and so on, or if they turn out to have some marvelous talent at a musical instrument or sport, you might get lucky and get some significant financial help later on. I don't think it's common though, and if your local state schools are decent a well-supported bright child will do well there as well.

I have been to both private and state schools and my two kids will have used a mixture of both by the time they are 18, so I have no "agenda" either way, for what it's worth.

A friend of mine her brother is a plumber in se london. There son is exceptionally bright and at the end of primary his head mistress recommended he try for a totally free place (uniform, bus everything) at the local very good private school and he got it! So it is not impossible.
But at age 4 how would they choose a child? How would they know to choose your rather than everyone else's?

Sorry all sorts of typos...

Rose, just check if you are in Norfolk if the private primary / prep school is a good one or not. Also once your child is at full time school you could work full time surely (I worked full time from having babies and paid private school fees from age 5+). If you earn the minimum wage you iwll probably be well on the way to paying a full set of fees anyway and you are studying accountancy. that means you might well have higher income in due course too so it might all work out fine.

We sometimes did regular weekend work too - so one of us coudl work all day Sat and the other Sunday (so working 6 days a week not 5) and obviously that makes a big difference to money too although I am not sure how many jobs there are around in your area.

Check which schools the children go on to at 11 or 13 (or if it is a 4 - 18 school how good the A level results are) as you do not want to pick a private school where no one does very well.

OP there is no reason why your dc should not go to a private school. But as lots of people have pointed out, most bursary schemes only start later on - a few from Y3, and then most from Y7 IME.

So you really just have to investigate what your local options are. If there is no way you could pay the fees from Reception then you need to find a decent state option and look to move as and when bursary funding became available.

You were concerned that he might not fit in if he didn't start in Reception? Even at a school that goes from 5 to 18, there will constantly be people leaving and joining and there's no reason your dc shouldn't fit in as well as anyone else.

My DD went to an indie school & her friend was a little boy whose mum was a single mum. She took him out after reception and when I asked her why she said - he got the bursary for reception but the school wanted to give it to another child the next year so she'd need to pay some/all fees for y1. I found it quite unkind for the school to have offered her false hope..

Bursaries are mostly for older kids and the amount they are worth is rarely enough unless someone other than parents is also contributing (eg grandparents). For primary there's really good state schools, so my advice would be to go down that route, it's not just the fees and being the poorest kid is no fun. Secondary schools is where private pays off more, my dd is private for sixth form and it's amazing (she's on a 60% bursary) save up for then is my advice. We've saved all our child benefit money from birth.

Yes apply if you can. The benefit is generally smaller class sizes which aids learning. Go for it!

Lots of rich people don't start private till their child is 8. Usually bursaries are not offered until secondary school