Is it worth applying for private school?

[Rosegoldlilly]

Next year I'll have to start looking for a school for DS. I know it's early but I want to do some research. I know children do have a lot of opportunities if they go to private school compared with state school. My DS is my only child and I don't plan to have anymore, I am a single mum but his DF is very much involved and also wants the best for him.
I've read that private school have bursaries for families that otherwise couldn't afford to send their child to private school and is means tested on both parents. I really don't earn alot and his DF earns around £25Kish.
My question is would it be worth applying for private schools and applying for the bursary to see what happens? Or should I not bother as it's highly unlikely we would be considered.

Think you need to research further how private schools work and what is available locally. Dc joined a secondary school with a feeder prep school which only went to 11 , from a standalone prep school which went to 13. Ds joined with about 30 /40 others at 13 into an established year group. dd joined at 11 in an intake of 80 ish of whom only about 40 were from the feeder prep school, so a wide range of previous education, both state and private, and social mix. By year 9 the year group had reached 140. So it is very unlikely your child would be alone in joining later than primary age.

All you can do is investigate your local fee paying schools and see. There will be a lot of people chasing the scholarships though, including MC families with more money and resources to throw at it. Not all schools have income limits for their scholarships.

Also, not all private schools are equal, some are very much 'schools for the stupid children of the rich' whereas other are more academic. But your child is 2, how will you know what is right for him?

Finally, why are you so determined to go private when you can't afford it? Only 7% of children go to private school, there are plenty state educated children who do very well. What are your local state schools like? Would you be better spending your money to get into the catchment of a middle class school where the general parental expectations are high. Or spending time and money to improve your own education/job so you can afford to give him more opportunities than you currently can.

DH and I have an income considerably higher than yours, on paper we could send our 3 kids private but that would involve sacrifices I'm not prepared to make (removing our financial security for old age mainly) because I don't think the local private schools offer enough of a competitive advantage over our state options. I may have felt differently if I only had one child of course, or if our state option weren't so good.

it's right to manage expectations but why shouldn't the OP try? She has stated that bursaries are available. OP, sadly, people do have snobby views about families in your situation.

I'm not having a snobby view about the family situation. I mentioned single parent because it is fully relevant in terms of only one income. Which is 2 days a week.

I'm sorry but realistically it is very very unlikely that this child will be educated in the private system.

We are talking about a 2 year old, so academic ability isn't even a factor at this point.

I'm sorry but realistically it is very very unlikely that this child will be educated in the private system.

Says who?

(Statistically - yeah. But the pupils with 100% bursaries at independent schools are the children of people who actually applied. Not the ones whose parents read something negative on MN and decided it wasn’t for the likes of them.)

@QuaterMiss I see what you mean, but obviously I didn't mean he should do ALL these activities all at once. Just see what he wants to do and what the OP can afford as and when.

But even state school offer extra-curricular activities, often at no cost. My DD9 plays an instrument at school (which we have to pay for but it's in a group so cheaper), and there are free clubs like gardening, colouring, football etc at lunchtime and after school run by the teachers. The only things we pay for (and have to take her to) after school are dance and Brownies.

A 100% bursary surely wouldn't cover absolutely everything, such as instrumental lessons and uniform. There would still be extras anyway.

OP I agree that you should look around and investigate private schools, just don't discount state schools and look around them too.

Go and look at all the schools local to you, both state and private.
Some private schools at Prep age I have seen were decidedly disappointing, some State schools were fabulous. Some state schools offer far more opportunities. I even know a State school which competes against Private schools in sport.
And even in some very good private schools I have seen them copying initiatives and ways of teaching that started in Private schools. And don't be won over by flash ideas like iPads for all pupils.

Overall the qualifications your son gains are likely to be pretty comparable regardless of whether his schools (or first school) is private or state.

Obviously schools have different policies for awarding bursaries, but I would expect a private school to query why one parent is only working 2 days a week and expect them to seek a full time job to maximise their income (unless there is good reason why they can't do this). So even if OP can find a school that offers a Reception bursary, this may well be their first point!

Overall the qualifications your son gains are likely to be pretty comparable regardless of whether his schools (or first school) is private or state

Perhaps not in the poorer areas of East Anglia though.

I notice from another thread that the op has some debt problems and she is struggling to make repayments on credit cards/loans. No private school is going to offer a bursary to new entrants in these circumstances - it would be irresponsible of them to potentially push parents further into debt. The op's first priority should be to live within her means and/or improve her income so she can manage her finances better - then she can look towards applying for a 7+ or an 11+ bursary for her ds.

I've read that private school have bursaries for families that otherwise couldn't afford to send their child to private school and is means tested on both parents

Not necessarily. My friend and her DH are quite poor, spend almost everything on pretty crappy quality private education for their two kids when really they completely can't afford it. No bursary for them, and they regularly have their power cut/can't buy enough food for themselves/live in a shithole (all their own words) because they spank everything up the wall on private school. They go through massive stress trying to make ends meet each month, have before asked me for loans to pay their electricity bill, other bills etc. They run out of fuel for the car, can't afford to pay for more, have debts up to and beyond their eyeballs....it's ridiculous. SOmetimes private educaiton just isn't worth the extra stress - you can always put money that would've been spent on school fees towards tutoring fees if the local state doesn't quite match up to standard etc. Anyway, best to contact your local schools and find out - I've never heard of bursaries for private schools before, they're a business out to make money, not out to give out free education.

Oh my word don’t ever think it’s not worth trying. Most private schools offer good bursaries and are exactly for someone in your situation. Who cares if you live in a bloody council house. As for others talking about extras you get help with those too. My DS in secondary private and they offer 40% of the applicants bursaries and there is a mixture of DC at the school from all backgrounds. ( it is in London so not sure about elsewhere) You do your research and visit the schools and take it from there and don’t go in there thinking ‘your’ not good enough as thats nonsense

I've never heard of bursaries for private schools before

With the greatest possible respect - you’re perhaps not best placed to offer advice on this subject! Though of course a range of (even uninformed) opinion is always interesting. Have you asked your friends if they applied for bursaries? Perhaps they were turned down - either because their children didn’t perform well enough in entrance exams or because they have assets you don’t know about. Or simply because the school they chose is insufficiently wealthy to be able to offer them. Whatever ...

And, actually, the oldest and ‘grandest’ public schools were set up specifically to provide access to education for children not born into aristocracy.

In 2017, over 5,000 pupils had means-tested bursaries worth 100% and over 10,000 dc had means-tested bursaries worth 76%-100%. However, it would be irresponsible for any private school to offer a new bursary to any family with debts up to and beyond their eyeballs - the family have to be able to live within their means - or at least be able to manage their debts and afford repayments.

I should add - living in a council house on a low income is fine - but not with outstanding debts they cannot afford to repay when they submit their first application for a bursary.

OP this is a secondary school...there may be others...with a reputation for generous bursaries. Even if you can’t get get what you’d like right now don’t forget you can try again later as many times as you want. I like that you have dreams for your child
www.christs-hospital.org.uk/information/

Well, it hardly matters at the moment as the OP’s DC is two years old!

When (years from now) the time comes, I imagine bursary forms may still say something about the potential for a bursary to improve family finances more generally: for instance, enabling a child to attend a school with wrap around pre-and after-school care so the parent can work full time. Or boarding enabling a family to move for employment reasons. I don’t know how significant debt might influence a decision within this context.

(Sorry, was musing on Clavinova’s post, not replying to bionic!)

You don’t need private education at primary level.

State schools, in my experience, are very good at this stage.

If you go for a secondary school bursary it’s unlikely to be for the full amount but worth going for, definitely.

Is there any way you could re-train or acquire more qualifications and find a well-paid job?

As a general point, it is slightly maddening for two of us to have scrimped and saved including through two long redundancies to keep two children in private school and find fees often going up to pay for bursaries )not all private schools have huge endowments). Effectively we are subsidising other parents who in some cases aren’t attempting to work as hard as they might. Or have more children than they can afford.

I know this is not what you’re suggesting, OP. 💐 Just venting generally

What are the local schools in the area like? Can you homeschool your child or not? How old is she now?
All schools are different. Read the inspection report on the school and look at prospectuses and curriculum booklets too. Make a list of questions to ask them about the school. Let go of naive assumptions as well.
Pay attention to your gut feeling. Visit all of the schools with your child in tow. Have a pen and notebook just in case for note taking. Are you in the catchment area or not? Good luck with your search. Definitely apply for a bursary. You will probably end up needing it.
Listen to the gossip about the school. Interview shopkeepers about the school you are considering. You might be interested in what you find out for sure. Discreetly watch the students after school at the mall as well. It can be a good source of information.

I do have some debt at the moment with credit cards which I've now consolidated and cut up the cards. So in 2 years most of it would be paid off. Would this still effect a decision?
I'm in a professional job and hopefully will get a promotion next year when I'm part qualified. I will be able to do more hours when DS is at school so will be in a better situation financially but still would be quite low.

How did you get into debt the first time? I wonder if your desire for private education is linked to "not being able to cut your coat according to your cloth".

State school especially at Primary is perfectly fine. In fact I know lots of people on 6 figure salaries whose children are in state school all the way through (and do fine). Often they don't feel they could "afford" private education.

I know lots of people on 6 figure salaries whose children are in state school all the way through (and do fine).

It’s not hard to do well if your parents have that sort of income.

Must say your assertion regarding a link between debt and an interest in private schooling is bizarre.

Rose I am a single parent living in social housing. My DD has just started at an independent school (Y7) on a full fees bursary. I still have to find lunch money (she was previously on free school meals) travel money (school bus is £300 a term) and any excursions money. It is very very hard, but DD loves it at this school, where she fits right in amongst all the other academic pupils - in our town the secondary school provision is shocking

I agree with other pp though, I don't know of any primary school bursaries. Good luck to you in your planning

Must say your assertion regarding a link between debt and an interest in private schooling is bizarre.

Well actually I have known of people who have gone into debt to pay school fees. More who had only interest only mortgages to free up the money. And this is somewhere where state schools are great.

The OP hasn't said on this thread that State schools near her are poor or that she has even looked at them.

I’m sure people do get into debt to pay fees. But your implication was that only people who have achieved a certain degree of moral and financial superiority should be allowed to consider independent education - even hypothetically.

@QuuarterMiss if that is how it read to you then I am sorry.

But I do think it is foolish to worry and over extend yourself for private education assuming it is "better", as in fact it is not necessarily so.