Private/Public Schools EastSussex

[Teacher18]

Opinions please! I have two DSs both at prep school currently. One in Y5 and one in Y2 (still quite young). Although few years away, I am getting increasingly worried about where to send him next. His dad was at Tonbridge and the plan was to send him there. . (He's bright and sporty). He'd go as a day boy as I don't want my boys to board and we live close. My concern is firstly financial - its probably going to be £40k a year minimum and although we could manage, it wouldn't be comfortable and secondly I'm losing sight of what the demographic of the kids is. We're financially sound but not super rich and I don't want the boys to feel that they are different to the majority. It feels like the number of middle class UK families able to pay for public school is rapidly diminishing. I also question whether any education is worth these sums. My daughter has just left her boarding school of 400 (she did board) and they opened up a spa for sixth formers to have massages and facials and they now have ensuite bathrooms (I believe to keep justifying fees!)

Sevenoakes is an option but frankly not a huge difference in fees to Tonbridge so same applies.

The only other option is Battle Abbey which is about half the price but the academic and sporting doesn't seem to have great reviews. DS 1 would probably be fine academically in any case and we could bump up the sport outside of school. DS 2 however is showing strong signs of dyslexia and he needs to be in a school that fully supports him.

I don't really know much about the other private schools in the area (we've excluded Eastboune and Brighton College) so a bit stuck. What we need is an excellent private day school but there aren't any!

Anyone got any experience/advice to share? To some extent would love to send them to state school but they are really appalling in our area and its absolutely not an option.

Attached is a link to old thread but the options are still valid depending on whereabouts in Sussex...

Ardingly
Hurst
Lancing
Claremont
Bedes
Worth
Christ's hospital

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/1753556-Ardingly-College

You say that state options are awful, but if you’re close enough for a Tonbridge day place and your DS is bright enough to get in, would the Kent grammars as an Out of County not have been an option (eg Judd)? Just curious.

How about state boarding at Cranbrook School.

Have NC for this as v outing. We are currently considering applying for a place at Sevenoaks, where we would qualify for a staff discount. We would not be able to afford the fees otherwise. One of my concerns is the same as yours, ie that our son would be a fish out of water, as we’re not ‘even’ able to afford the standard fees, let alone comfortably. However, DH’s view is that it’s not a massive issue - yes, of course there are plenty of super rich kids there - but there are also enough staff kids, kids on bursaries and kids whose parents are only just able to afford the fees that there’s still a bit of a mix. And that the culture is generally not one of ‘look how rich I am’ - even among those who really are. And I imagine Tonbridge has more full and nearly-full bursaries than Sevenoaks - I know a couple of kids recently who’ve gone there on 100%. The issue of ‘is it worth it’ is a different question. DH absolutely thinks it is, and I’m likely to go with his greater insight on this one - but we wouldn’t be paying full fees, so it’s not quite the same question as for you.

If your DS is clever enough to get a place at Judd, Skinners or Tonbridge Grammar and you have no boarding need I think you would be barking mad to shell out £100,000 plus for a place at Tonbridge or Sevenoaks!