Posh independent day school are doing a home visit- are they judging my house??

[sockappella]

My son is going to attend the nursery at a local fee-paying independent school. They are coming round for a home visit next week. We live in a 3 bed mid terrace in an ok (but not desirable) area. My question is- will they be judging us based on our home?
It's pretty obvious we can't afford the fees. The only reason I'm sending him is because we get the free 15 hours. After nursery, I'm hoping he can get a scholarship, but if not, he'll be going to a state primary.

A lot of state primaries do it. It's a holistic thing - get to know the family and that helps the child.

I think some nursery settings do this.

I don't think they will worry too much about your mid terrace

They won't care. Loads of grandparents pay fees by the way so your terrace isn't necessarily a reflection of your access to funds!!

Our state primary did this. You’re overthinking it!

You are overthinking it but do they even offer scholarships at primary level? This would be unusual IME.

Yeh our state primary did it too!

If you have a look at the car park at drop off time you will notice that a lot of the parents aren't wealthy. Obviously they're will be some who are extremely well of but most of them make sacrifices like living in terraced 3 beds in not bad but not desirable areas to afford the fees. They won't be judging you.

Are you sure they offer scholarships at reception age, very few do. Would he get ey funding for any of Reception?

Some state nurseries and schools do home visit. We had a home visit for my oldest one from a state nursery.

I haven't heard of any private school offering scholarships for primary school years. I thought they were only offered in secondary school but I may be wrong.

Home visits are nothing new either. I remember my younger sister having one before starting school and she was born in 1978

My DS had a scholarship at 7, but that is pretty unusual. He had to sit English and maths papers to get it.

My son attends an independent school (reception) and receives a bursary to assist with fees but scholarships at this age are unusual. He also attended the nursery there and the children came from many different backgrounds - about 10% went on to the main school from his year group. Home visits are normal and a way of getting to know you as a family in an environment you are comfortable in.

I sent one dc to a very rough state primary and one (briefly when offered no state primary place) to a posh private day school. Both schools visited. As others said, it's not a judgement thing, it's a settling thing

We had this. When the Head Teacher turned up, I kid you not, the dog threw up on the carpet and DS locked himself in the shed and wouldn't come out! I was mortified and wanted to die!! In actual fact, despite the chaos, we had a very good relationship for the whole time he was at the school as whilst a lot of the kids that attended the school were from super-privileged homes, the teachers were "normal" so she could see the funny side. They're not coming to judge you honestly

My children go to a state school and the nursery always do home visits. It's nothing to worry about OP

A number of the children in your sons class will be in the same position - going whilst it's free and then leaving and going state. The school will be used to it and whilst it's not what they'd ideally want, they know that offering the free places does lure people in and some will then scrape together the funds to stay.

It's worth being fully aware of whether the school gives bursaries at reception level and so how likely he is to stay - most Preps don't give any financial help before Yr3 at very youngest, unless it's to those already paying fees who encounter short term financial problems. So don't go into this thinking he is likely to go to school there if this is unrealistic.

In the nursery, all the children will be treated the same. The home visit is just to see him in his home setting and is very usual. Often 2 staff will come and one will chat to parent and the other to child. Typically a parent might be asked things like if child is toilet trained and can manage alone, can they dress themselves etc. Other staff member might play a little game with child which might involve colours or numbers. They aren't judging you for wealth, and I'd guess most parents they visit are interested in education. In other schools where staff visit new entrants, a home visit might reveal likely poverty or other problems which might be handy to know about.

Your school won't be noting down on a form 'big house, mansion, tiny house'. Sounds like you are already feeling like you are going to be judged by everyone and that you will be the poor cousin - try to get over this attitude. In all liklihood in an Independnet school, some people will be very well off, but they are all parents who hope their children will settle in well and meet friends and they hope to do the same too - people are looking for others to be friendly and welcoming and that will count for far more than your house size - so walk in with your head held high and try not to take much notice of who drives which car or their house if you get invited round - if these things don't matter so much to you, they won't to others or your son either.

I haven't heard of any private school offering scholarships for primary school years

No not me.

*nor

Our local prep offers a scholarship from 7

This will have absolutely nothing to do with the fact it's a fee paying school. It's standard issue for nursery, and for children starting in reception - it's to get to know you as a family and see your child interact in its home environment.

I also doubt highly that the school will have much if any expectation that you will stay there for pre-prep. Our children attended a nursery at a pre-prep and it was all quite separate - yes some kids went on to the pre-prep but at least half if not more went onto state primaries. All they want is for you to pay your nursery fees. Our 'private nursery' was not much more expensive than the Surestart one around the corner, so it's pretty normal for 'state school families' to use private childcare at the nursery level!

Agree with others that scholarships and bursaries are highly unusual at the age of 4.