Boarding - how does you relationship change?

[Todayissunny]

For reasons that would take too long to explain we are thinking about sending 13 y.o. ds to boarding school next school year. We have a very good relationship and so far he has been a very easy teen. I am trying not to think too hard about how much I will miss him when he isn't here every day.
I can't help wondering if you lose the closeness with your child when they go to boarding school. He wouldn't come home every weekend (it is an international school so they have Saturday activities), but when possible we would visit him on Sunday.
Can anyone tell me their experiences.

Just out of curiosity Finally - where were you being sent ‘home’ from?

You’re surely too young for The Jewel in the Crown?

@Gruach 'home' from 'abroad' natch. 😀

Well, yes. I gathered that ...

bonnyshide that's awful and I know the pain you're describing. I weekly boarded at 8 and though I really enjoyed a lot of it, I remember the acute pain of homesickness. It was worst on Sunday nights after going back of course. What worked for me was going full boarding eventually. Homesickness completely stopped then. Did you tell your parents when you were feeling miserable? Leaving wasn't presented as an option at all?

some boarding schools seem great. i love bedales arty, no school uniform and student individuality reputation. i am very attracted to the unpretentious feel of the place with its own assessed courses and school farm and the fact that it was started as an alternative to the victorian public schools and has always been co ed. it has a great olivier theatre and oak panelled library.
However canford looks amazing too with its grounds, buildings. it looks like hogwarts and the fact that its 10 minutes from the beach, as well as trips to nearby splashdown, exmoor and monkey world. The academics, arts and sports look impressive. They have a festival of ideas day where they discuss questions like what is intelligence?The day students are very well looked after aswell. i have three family members that went there and two of them ended up at oxford and one at durham.
But wellington offers such variety that makes it very appealing as well. with its top facilities and its arts festival. it seems to have the best academics, sports and arts opportunities around.
I prefer co ed as life is co ed and its nice for boys and girls to have friends of both sexes but thats just me.
i would say for location facilities go canford, opportunities facilities go wellington and for childs personal development and pastoral care go bedales but thats just me.
I am most likely considering canford for my son who is now 8 as the opportunities are great and in the sixth form they can go to work in an orphanage in africa for 2 weeks which looks fab. But also because we go for location. if we lived near bedales or wellington we'd want to send our son there but we want day not boarding as children are only children once and we want to be a part of our kids lives and know whats going on with them. i have a friend who says she doesnt know what her daughters really like because shes at boarding school most of the time. you might have great facilities at boarding schools but you are spending the majority of time without the unconditional love of family around you. As gandhi said " theres no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuious parent". Nothing beats growing up with family love around. However some kids thrive on boarding life but the ones who dont that i know have felt like they were abandoned and grow up with emotional problems due to the lack of love surrounding them.