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___ITV "THIS MORNING"_____FRIDAY____HOW MUCH SEX EDUCATION SHOULD CHILDREN HAVE IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS?????

155 replies

RTKangaMummy · 22/03/2007 14:59

Tomorrow, {FRIDAY} Davina McCall is in talking about her controversial campaign to reform sex education in schools. Will telling our children the full monty make them want sex more, or less? Should sex education start at primary school? Davina says yes, what do you think? Call us now on 0870 333 05 50 or email us at [email protected]

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OP posts:
doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 15:02

'Make them want sex more or less'

Argh that one always makes my blood boil. It's a basic human urge, without which the species would have died out. Nothing is going to change how much they want to do it! and the more information people have the better.

Obviously appropriately worded for age etc.

Rhubarb · 22/03/2007 15:03

I take it this is just about sex, not love or self respect or responsibility.

ishouldbeironing · 22/03/2007 15:06

My DTS are in year 7 and this is their second year of sex education - havent noticed any signs of promiscuity yet!!!
Is this just for England as I am sure many Scottish primary schools teach sex education already.

Rhubarb · 22/03/2007 15:14

This is something I want to be able to tell to my own kids in my own words when I feel they are ready and not when the school says they are.

I want to tell them about love and self respect, not just how to use a condom. And I want to tell them in a way that I feel is appropriate to them, a way that I, as their mother, know how.

southeastastra · 22/03/2007 15:15

what does davina know about it anyway?

Rhubarb · 22/03/2007 15:17

loud mouthed hussy that she is!

doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 15:32

Well, she is a celebrity mum, so surely very well qualified to campaign publicly about any parenting issue

RTKangaMummy · 22/03/2007 18:46

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OP posts:
LostMe · 22/03/2007 19:49

Sorry if I sound old and boring (of which I am neither!) but why should children be bombarded with information about sex? In our parents days the focus was on marriage, love, commitment and respect for oneself and your partner and they didn't have all the problems we have now! Surely children need to have more information about morality, self respect, tolerance and acceptance and maybe the world would be a nicer place!

nikkie · 22/03/2007 19:50

Its not sex ed specifically now its supposed to be SRE (sex and relationship education) so slightly more realistic,supposed to start in nursery /Yr R
about families, your body etc then moving on to puberty in y5/6 then on to basic sex ed in Yr 7/8 and more detailed later on.How many schools it happens in though

homemama · 22/03/2007 20:18

Well I teach it throughout school and right at the heart of it it relationship education. That means we teach them in reception about friendships and their value and in Y6 about 'adult' relationships. Respect and consent is at the core of it.

When I teach sex ed to Y6, I tell them its a healthy, natural and wonderful experience that should happen within a loving,stable and consental relationship.

They're also taught about masturbation. It always amazes me and makes me cross that some parents are happy for their kids to be taught about sex but want them withdrawn from the session on masturbation.

Why????

DominiConnor · 22/03/2007 20:21

Firstly lostme children are entering puberty earlier.
Also I'm older than you, I suspect lot older.
I also have read about "the good old days" when there was much less sex education and a lot more morality.
It was not nice.

Even though I don't stretch back to Victorian days, this was a time when young girls, both black and white were sold as sex slaves, quite legally, unmarried mothers were locked up as mad, and "tolerance" for gay people had advanced to the stage where they would only be locked up for relatively short periods.

Women weren't allowed to own property, and there are still women alive who remember them getting the vote. Given that their role was to be skivvies and baby machines, no one was going to let them find out about contraception.

In my parents days, some women were told that having the baby would kill them. So the doctors did their best to make the mother comfortable whilst she and the baby died.

In your parents day knitting needles were involved, do I have to draw a diagram ?

I'd guess the average MNer is say 25-30, means her parents were 7 40-50 ish years ago, ie 1960s. Menstruation came as a deep and unpleasant shock to many girls, suicides from this were not unknown.

doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 20:26

Yup I'm agreeing with you dominiconnor - don't really want to go back there do we?

I've read about women (and men) of our grandparents' generation getting married and not having the first clue about sex - didn't know what to do, much less how to talk to each other about it. Terrifying. Any sexual problems would just get buried for a lifetime.

LostMe · 22/03/2007 20:33

DominiConnor - Excuse me for having an opinion! My parents are not old - my dad is 60 this year! They were bought up with the no sex before marriage thing (not to say they didn't experiment as my mum used to cheekily tell me!) but I was also (as was my husband) bought up to believe in the sanctity of marriage - even though ours was not a religious household. My parents were young when they married and only slept with each other. I simply do not see why we have to encourage our children to grow up so soon. It is my role to encourage self believe and morality in my daughter with support form the education system. We are talking about sex education here - not womens role in society . My 5yr old already knows that she can achieve whatever she wants and we will support her.

I am totally in support of relationship education and tolerance (as mentioned in my initial post) You seem to have gone off on a bit of a tangent!

homemama · 22/03/2007 20:34

Actually, I think better sex ed leads to less children having earlier and/or unsafe sex.

I agree,DC. I'd rather my children saw sexas a happy natural experience than grew up ignorant of their body and riddled with hang-ups.

LostMe · 22/03/2007 20:35

Forgot to mention - my parents were part of the swinging sixties generation! (Don't know whether thats good or bad!!!)

steinermum · 22/03/2007 20:36

I don't buy this argument which says 'the earlier the better'. Isn't it more a case of 'get this embarrassing stuff out of the way while the kids are too young to really give us a hard time about it'. The focus should be on reducing the early sexualisation of our children which currently occurs through lads mag covers, Sport newspaper, innuendo in radio/TV progs while kids are present, internet browsing, explicit pop videos etc etc

Why do kids need to know any of the mechanics of sex whilst still in primary school? I would make sure the girls knew in good time about changes in their bodies leading to the start of menstruation and that boys know about what will be happening to their bodies, but as for any other sex ed. it is completely redundant at that age imo.

I know I'm swimming completely against the tide with this one !

doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 20:37

Agree with homemama. Good SRE doesn't make children grow up too soon. It makes sure that they are equipped for growing up, emotionally as well.

southeastastra · 22/03/2007 20:39

how depressing dc

my ds(13) is doing sex education at school atm. this is the best time i feel, he can understand better as he is going through changes. i tend to agree with lostme.

oh and my dad is 77

homemama · 22/03/2007 20:39

Lostme, at primary level, at least, the vast majority of sex ed is teaching children about healthy relationships with friends, family, peers and eventually lovers. We also teach them about their body parts and how to keep themselves clean etc.

doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 20:40

steinermum I agree with you wrt to sexualisation of mainstream culture. However, imo, the 'mechanics' of sex is relevant for children of primary school age if they have hit puberty.

nikkie · 22/03/2007 20:42

LOSTME_7 40-50 ish years ago, ie 1960s = they would be 47-57 so Domniconnor actually guessed younger than your Dad

Blu · 22/03/2007 20:42

I agree with DC.

Also - can we not (just for once) look at other countris in Europe with a better record than us on teenage pg, STIs etc etc? In the Netherlands, sex is treated far more matter of factly, taught early, little prudery about bodies etc etc. Less mystique and hype. I'm talking about normal day to day relationships, and family / school - not the cliched Amsterdam issue.

Sex is a normal bodliy function, I don't see why relationships and sex are a less important or more private thing to discuss in school than other crucially important relationship issues such as bullying. Of course, in the bets circumstances, children will also be gettiing strong education and messages form their parent/s - but it must be dicussed in schools because otherwise the ones with the least 'sorted' family backgrounds as regards self-respect, sexual respect etc will miss out entirely...and could end up being the charismatic disaster your DD/DS falls for at an impressionable age!

I have just read 'Hello Sailor' to DS - a children's book about one man's deep friendship / love / wish to be with another man. DS, 5, completely accepting the feeling between the two men as a relationship - no hint of sex in the book, as there wouldn't be in a children's book about a prince and princess falling in love. And yet the hoo-ha about introducing books like this in school would make you tink that children were being offered workshops into how to conduct a sexual act

Why do we confuse education about an issue with training on how to do it? If well dealt with, sex and relationship education in schools will not mean that young people rush to try it. That is not, it seems, the experience in Scandinavia, anyway.

doggiesayswoof · 22/03/2007 20:44

I'm interested to know when people on here found out about sex? I'm sure I knew when I was 9 or 10, and it was through playground rumours. would have preferred to know the facts, presented in a more rounded context, without all the sniggering and worrying and wondering.

homemama · 22/03/2007 20:44

But southeastastra, did he not learn about menstruation at primary? I think it's shocking that some schools still remove the boys fromthese lessons. Whole class session then the girls get a chance on their own to ask questions they don't want to ask in front of the boys.

Steinermum, why should it be embarrassing? The whole point of starting it early it to put it across as a natural part of life.