___ITV "THIS MORNING"_____FRIDAY____HOW MUCH SEX EDUCATION SHOULD CHILDREN HAVE IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS?????

[RTKangaMummy]

Tomorrow, {FRIDAY} Davina McCall is in talking about her controversial campaign to reform sex education in schools. Will telling our children the full monty make them want sex more, or less? Should sex education start at primary school? Davina says yes, what do you think? Call us now on 0870 333 05 50 or email us at [email protected]

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hello sailor! hehe very dick emery

So explain it to me. We want our teenagers to delay having sex so they don't have multiple partners and risk STD's or pregnancy, but we tell them, in detail, about how to have sex when they are, what 9? 10? I just do not understand the logic.

I don't understand why schools teach about masturbation. It's not like you need contraception for that is it?

Great post Blu, I agree totally.

We don't come to the same conclusion, but I absolutely agree with Steinermum that the sexualisation of young children needs to stop.

But it won't because huge ranges of products and marketable consumer goods are driving it.

no he had sex education at about 11 (i think) where they were shown a video and granted the boys were separated from the girls.

he is now in year 8 and the school have given us a choice to opt out if we wish. tbh i think the lessons will concentrate more on relationships/underage sex/stds and physical changes. oh and a condom demonstration 'activity'

i do feel he is ready now and not before.

Rhubarb - i doubt schools teach about masterbation in terms of a step by step guide as to how to do it, with some top MN tips thrown in.

More that people do do it, that it is normal, and that, actually, since you don't need contraception it might be a better alternative to sex with someone else, while you are still growing up and larning about your sexual feelings! In that context i think masterbation is extremely important to explore - as an idea.

9/10 is more about adults do this and make a baby rather than people have sex for fun.

steinermum, most people have worked out how to do it without being told. IMO it's a total myth that explaining it will make them want to try it - if the issues and risks around having sex too early/too many partners etc is explained, they may be less likely to jump in with both feet.

Ah right, just wondered if used words like "flange" and so on!

I do think it terribly unfair on the kiddies though. How uncomfortable it must be to be sat in groups with your friends listening to your teacher telling you that masturbation is ok! I do think it is our job to do that still.

Rhubarb,we teach it because it is a healthy, normal sexual act. For most kids (hopefully)this will be their first sexual experience. They need to feel comfortable with it, to know it's not dirty nor will they won't go blind.

Also, teaching them that experimenting with their own body is a good alternative to rushing into sex. And, knowing their own bodies will inevitably lead to them having a better sex life.

Steinermum - we teach them, in detail, how to understand what sex is, the context it works best / most safely and happily in, and help them understand their bodies so that they don't run amok in confusion, shame and ignorance when the urges kick in. They know what it is about and what choices they can make. Making it ordinary.

x posts, blu

You put it so much better than me, Blu. Must go - I should be painting the bathroom - and no, that's not a euphemism.

So you don't yell
"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YERSELF AND STOP FIDDLING TOMMY!" then?

Blu - you say that 'sex is a normal bodily function' as though it's on a par with eating or going to the loo. To me it's this downplaying of the 'specialness' of sex that has partly led to our current problems. Many teenagers seem to regard sex as so much of a normal bodily function that they have it as many different people as they like, whenever they feel like it. And now they'll all be watching SKINS and going at it even more hammer and tongs!! And if they DON'T feel ready, it's VERY hard for them to say so because it's just such a very normal thing to do, innit?

'Tis true, sex is special and I don't want my kids to think they are missing out by not humping people. It is to be shared by 2 people who love each other - ideally! Girls especially can't get their virginity back and most girls regret losing theirs to complete pricks, or they feel bullied into having sex because all their friends are doing it.

Agree with Blu.

The reason children need to be provided with sensible, neutral information at primary age is that any reasonably thoughtful child is going to have wondered long before age 11 where babies come from, how they get out, how they get in, what some of the rude words mean that they hear in the playground, why their willy goes all big when they fiddle with it, and why some newspapers have pictures of women with no tops on.

Throw into this mix the fact that some of their schoolmates will be provided with more information than others, particularly those with older brothers and sisters. Then add in the fact that a reasonably observant child will have noticed that many adults are strangely unwilling to provide them with the kind of factual information and discussion they would be quite happy to give if the question related to the workings of the internal combustion engine or the DVD player, and you have the raw ingredients for yet another generation of children growing up with a pernicious combination of sexualised culture and factual ignorance.

They're just body parts and bodily functions. I'd a million times rather my children felt they could come and ask me what 'wanker' or 'oral sex' meant when they heard the terms used than having to make do with playground misinformation and their own wild imaginings.

My dd1 (12) is doing SRE in Y7 at school. There are girls in her year who can't bring themselves to say the word 'penis' or 'period'. Is this what we want for our children?

Do you not think that parents now just let the schools get on with it instead of taking that responsibility onto themselves?

I'm sorry rhubarb but I actually hate the whole concept of girls especially being made to feel that they should hang on to their virginity. It's so sexist, and it feeds into the whole myth that sex is something that women give to men - usually under duress.

Boys should be protecting their virginity just as carefully!

But I think that's a whole other thread and I really need to go and paint...

steinermem, I don't think that education can ever be a bad thing. Do you really believe that the increase (better provision) of sex education in recent years has led to the increase in casual sex? I certainly don't.

Where I grew up, teenagers had sex because there was nothing else for them to do other than drink or shag. Only those like myself who were fortunate enough to have the 'out' of education didn't trundle down that path.

And yes, rhubard, IMO, it's very important that parents get involved, work as a partnership with school and explore the subject in more detail at home.

Steinermum - I agree that too many young people are 'at it like hammer and tongs'- but suspect that is because they feel they 'ought to' because of the sexualisation pressure you mention earlier. i think that they are not at all thinking of sex being part of important things ike feelings or babies. There was a horrifying study recently that indicated that huge numbers of adolescent boys now see 'pornstar sex' as the norm because of their internet access to it, believe that young women are devoid of pubic hair girls all want to shave, and that they expect oral and anal sex as routine. In this context ( we will never be able to magic the internet back into the genie's lamp) I think it is even more important to introduce sex as a normal thing to happen in families, between loving adults - and to plant that model before the internet exotica hits them.

BTW I do answer my children's questions about their bodies/ male and female bodies/how babies get in and out. They do see me without my clothes on, they also know mum and dad have sex, because when my 7 year old told me he wanted to sex with me I told him straight back I only have sex with his daddy. I do understand that lots of parents are not able to incorporate this sort of chat into their daily lives with their children and that it is vital that schools fill that void. My beef is with this idea that if something is A GOOD THING TO DO, then the younger we do it, the better!

My dd and ds knows all about periods as I make no pretence, they see me change my pads and everything!

dd knows where babies come from.

As for sex, the subject hasn't come up yet but when it does I'll be frank about that too. I don't want it to frighten them.

When I was 14 I found a book in my sisters' room that said that men pee in women's vaginas - I was horrified!