___ITV "THIS MORNING"_____FRIDAY____HOW MUCH SEX EDUCATION SHOULD CHILDREN HAVE IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS?????

[RTKangaMummy]

Tomorrow, {FRIDAY} Davina McCall is in talking about her controversial campaign to reform sex education in schools. Will telling our children the full monty make them want sex more, or less? Should sex education start at primary school? Davina says yes, what do you think? Call us now on 0870 333 05 50 or email us at [email protected]

.

I wondered when DC would turn this into a dig about Christians. If you had a thread on what colour bogies your kid has he'd sneak in a Christian insult.

It is appropriate to teach your kids about road safety because you cannot walk a quarter of a mile before you have to cross a road. As soon as they start to walk, roads become a danger.

Sex is different. Young kids do not need to know about it because it does not affect them. The reason sex ed was done around puberty is because this is the time, naturally, that sex becomes interesting and hormones start to race. Then it is appropriate to tell them about safe sex and so on. To tell a young primary school child about sex is forcing them into an adult world that they don't quite understand and are too young to grasp.

Once you know about sex you look at your peers in a different way. I want dd to hang onto her innocence, to see boys as playmates just the same as her girlfriends.

It says it all when you read of little boys trying to have sex at primary school. They are not ready to hear about sex and imo it is inappropriate to tell them at a very young age.

no one teaches anything remotely sexual IME to children in primary school. its more about puberty and periods at that age.

my daughter hass just seen the infra red penis vid - shes 14. she has friends having sex already.

Prehaps what makes Holland different to us is that there is a strong family structure.

If we want to cut the number of STDs or teenage pregnancy we need to tell kids that it is BEST to abstain until they have finished their education and have a job. No contraception is fail proof and the consequencies of an unplanned pregnancy ruins lives.

What seperate humans from animals is self control. Why can't we teach our kids to have some self control. Religon has nothing to do with it. The message need to be given to kids that its OK to say no to sex. Prehaps it should be discussed with children how they can judge if they are ready for a sexual relationship.

Most fourteen year olds have problems remembering their PE kit, how in the hell can you expect them to remember the pill.

People seem to think that teenage pregnancy is down to lack of sex ed, but have they thought that it is down to teens actually wanting babies? Because there is little love and respect in their homes, there is nothing for them to do, as a nation we actively hate teenagers.

That is the problem, not lack of sex ed.

The programme did a survey amongst BRITISH 14 year olds

And they thought if they did a wee after sex would not get preggers

I remember at senior school rummour saying if you did it standing up would not get preggers

Surely some of you remember stupid rumours when you were at senior school, don't you?????

I know a teenage boy who dumped his girlfriend cos she WANTED a baby and he didn't

They were 15

Which is why sex ed is important for puberty age children - NOT for primary school children.

Our teens need love, respect and a good family bond. But unfortunately we don't have much emphasis on family here. Families don't eat together, don't go out together, teens are left to wander, parents don't know/care where they are. Teenage girls want a baby because they want something that will love them back. They know damn well how to get pregnant.

My son who is five knows how babies are made. It's no different to telling him why it rains or what happens to food once you've eaten it. he's still a little boy of five who likes Mr Men books and sweetshops. the idea that he suddenly looks at his little Esme and Alice as sexual beings is making me laugh.

rhubard agree with you totally. teenagers aren't daft and know biology before the sex education lessons. its a more complex situation imo

Rhubarb articulates the offended Christian view well. She feels uncomfortable about her kids knowing stuff., so her daughter should remain ignorant.
Presumably her parents had the same view which is why she has the silly idea that there is such a thing as "puberty age children".
not only is the age dropping but the spread is large, varying easily from 7 to 20.
Presumably she's quite happy for this to come as a scary shock to kids just so long as her DD doesn't know the "condom".

Rhubarb,you are absolutely correct in much of what you say but I don't see how teaching them sex ed (which, at primary level places huge emphasis on stable relationships) undervalues or undermines the family?

On the contrary, I feel that a child feeling confortable and confident enough to discuss these matters and ask questions either of a parent or teacher shows what a good upbringing they've had.

I'm with Blu on this one. Everyone seems to be getting hung up on it being "sex" education in Primary schools. As some have said, teaching someone about something is not the same as teching them how to do something. And in the context of primary schools, I actually think the younger the better. It should get started as a more general introduction to the importance of respecting our own bodies, the importance of family relationships and then, by the later years of primary schools can progress- as something natural - to more detailed education about how babies are made - but still emphaising the importance of self respect. Then that also covers the issues of stranger danger and making children aware of what sort of apporaches wuld be worng (remmeber that most cases of abuse occur within the home and NOT by strangers).

Whetheer we like it or not, kids will talk about it in the playground - and the myths can be more dangerous than the facts - as Blu has illustrated.

The sooner we get across the message - gently and matter of factly - that sex is an important part of normal family relationships, with its own special place - that it should be about making love - the better.

My own parents - who were in their 20s in the 60s (when I was born) - were always very open about bodies, sex - and the importance of loving relationships. In fact, they were so open about sex when I was in my teens that they posotively embarrassed me and probably resulted in putting me off! As it was I was into my 20s before I lost my virginity! (... althugh I did "enjoy" a number of pretty hot relationships before then! )

I intend to be just as open and up-front with ds, who is 6 - and am happy for his primary school to introduce the sbject to him too. It will only supplement waht we are already talking to him about - and will also (and more importantly) help those kids whose parents are too embarrassed to raise the sbject.

Right from Primary 1, they are taught to respect others and themsleves as part of their "Golden Rules"- this is just an extension of that.

DC, I disagree. I can tell you that as a teacher, very few of the objections raised by the parents are rooted in their Christian belief. For many, although by no means all, it is rooted in their extreme awkwardness and embarrassment when it comes to anything to do with sex. This is because most received such poor sex ed themselves.

For parents like Rhubarb it is clearly to do with her strong held belief that that education should go on at home. I completely respect this but know that in a great many homes it is lacking.

Domoniconner
rhubarb said on thursday at 15.14

"This is something I want to be able to tell to my own kids in my own words when I feel they are ready and not when the school says they are.

I want to tell them about love and self respect, not just how to use a condom. And I want to tell them in a way that I feel is appropriate to them, a way that I, as their mother, know how. "

perhaps you should actually read the thread

and they dont each about stiff coks and vaginas in primary school

my children in year 5/6 learned about puberty periods, hair growth etc

does anyone worry that if you teach it to really small children they'd try it out?

i think the sex obsessed media has to take some blame too and as rhubard said the lack of stability in some homes. but i still stand by thinking that my 13 year old is just at the right age to learn.

going into vaginas - i meant - and i shouldnt state that as a nationwide fact but rather my experience!

small children would - some - we have threads on mumsnet to prove this. AFAIK no one is suggesting teaching about sex per se to primary aged children.

Yes, I can't stress enough that sex ed is not just about sex. Throughout most of primary school it's about relationships and respect.

Although the do have sex ed (in the literal sense) in the last term of Y6 so age 11.

I always hold parents meeting in advance to discuss the content. Much wine is consumed and there's far more giggling there than when I teach their kids, I can tell you!

When I was at school, some of my peers were having sex at 14

That was 18 years ago

The hardest thing to say is "No" and kids should be taught how to be proud to say it.

I was at a gathering where a joint was being passed around and I thought I was going to be the only one to say no, thankfully someone else did as well.

Shouldn't we give our children the confidence to say no to underage activities?

what exactly is propsed then? i think i'm getting confused

SEA, the problem is that sex ed is guidance only therefore schools are not oblidged to teach it. DMcC is saying that the programme of PSHCE that, say, I teach throughout school, should be taught nationally.

When little the kids are taught about relationships. How to form them, how to keep them and which are not appropriate (eg touching someone else's body). They are also taught about respect; for themselvesand each other.

In Y2, they learn the correct name for all their body parts, including their genitals. This is done in a matter of fact, scientific way and is linked to the science topic, ourselves.

As they move further up school they learn how to keep themselves clean and healthy. How to be safe and how to know when an adult has asked them to do something inappropriate and what to do about it.

Then, in Y5, they learn about puberty and the changes that are happening/will happen to their bodies. All children are taught about menstruation and the arrival of pubic hair/breasts/deeper voices etc. They then are given sessions which are just boys and just girls to enable them to ask the questions they really want to ask.

Finally in Y6, the get six sessions of what we all consider sex ed. We start gently,ask what they (think they) know already and just discuss things at their pace.
We cover:
a)body parts and their function
b)what goes where, how and what happens then
c)masturbation
d)keeping safe and clean
e)The great responsibility that comes with these rights.
f)I explain that they will phisically mature before they emotionally do and the importance of waiting until they are ready emotionally as well as physically

I teach that sex happens best within a loving, stable, adult relationship.

I teach them that above all else, they must respect themselves and each other.

I always finish every lesson with and Q&A session. I also encourage them to go home and discuss what the have learned with their parents.

HTH

thanks for clarifying! i wouldn't have a problem with my ds(5) being taught that at all.

Good! You see, we're all basically on the same side.

But the daily mail headlines would have you believe we teach 5yr olds how to have sex and where to buy condoms.