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Original poster

Is 13 too young to think about Oxbridge?

114 replies

lottieandmia · 27/02/2017 12:45

My dd is a brilliant artist and I had thought that she would want to go to art college. But she's also turned out to be very academic and one of her teachers described her to me as 'brilliant' at the last parents evening.

i think that she might possibly be able to try for a place at Oxbridge and she's interested in the idea but I don't know much about the interview process. My best friend went to Magdalen - she said they ask unusual questions. It may be that it doesn't suit her but I thought it would be worth considering.

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2014newme · 27/02/2017 16:15

Lots of children will have been to Oxford for days out or weekends away and lots of the colleges are open to the public.
So many young kids will have been there and thought it a good place not to mention the Harry Potter stuff etc!

mimbleandlittlemy · 27/02/2017 16:20

My father decided he wanted my sister to go to Cambridge when she was in her early teens but in the end Cambridge did not do the course she wanted to do so - he ended up frustrated and thinking she had in some way failed to meet his expectations and she ended up at the university that did exactly what she wanted and got a First.

My niece, from about 8, said she wanted to do Law at Oxbridge - but when it came to it 10 years later, what she actually wanted to do was rather esoteric and not taught at either so she ended up at a London RG uni and then did do Cambridge for her MA.

Dreams and aspirations are great but it's also worth tempering that with "yes, Oxbridge is wonderful, but you may find other unis teach that subject better".

ErrolTheDragon · 27/02/2017 16:23

Oxford and Cambridge are both pretty good for a short city break - good museums, punting, climbing up church towers.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/02/2017 16:25

Shockmimble - blimey, glad your DSis had more sense than your DF.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 27/02/2017 16:30

'From reading your post it seems this is your aspiration at this stage and not hers'

That's really not the case. I wouldn't mind if she didn't want to go to university at all. As she's become older it has become clear that she's very academic. She has a particular passion for History. I actually would not advise any child of mine to go to university unless they have a vision for what kind of career they can have at the end of it. It's just too expensive to go unless you're really driven.

I think that to get into Oxford or Cambridge you need more than straight As - as someone said, I too have heard that they are looking for a particular student with quite a unique thinking style.

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Original poster
lottieandmia · 27/02/2017 16:38

Thanks for replies. She has already chosen her GCSE subjects. She is currently in a state school but has spent most of her life in all girls private. I moved her out of that school because of an endemic problem with stealing/bullying. I might look at putting her back into private for 6th form, depending on what she wants. But her current school is very good and she seems quite relaxed there and is doing well.

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Obsidian77 · 27/02/2017 16:50

It's not so much that they are looking for a particular student, more that they want students who are well-read, intellectually curious and able to have interesting conversations.
For arts subjects in particular you have a lot more contact time than at many students at other universities so tutors are also looking for someone they will enjoy teaching and who have genuine interests.
Your DD should consider reading very widely, in and around historical topics and in general. I think foreign languages are considered quite helpful for history as this will allow for research across a broader range of sources.
Bear in mind that other universities may actually have more interesting courses. From my experience, Oxford in particular can be very pale, male and stale. The tripos structure at Cambridge also allows you to pursue a broader range of topics that interest you.
Happy to be contradicted by anyone with more recent knowledge.

Pleasejustgetdressed · 27/02/2017 16:52

Yes.

Christ Almighty. Way to set her up to feel a failure if she doesn't.

NinonDeLanclos · 27/02/2017 17:02

I agree it's not so much a particular student as particular characteristics. Aside from academic strength, Oxbridge looks for originality, and a genuine passion for the subject. Breadth as well as depth. And yes a language is useful.

The only issue for the moment is simply that she chooses the right GCSEs and gets the grades.

If you've got a good sixth form college in the area, that's certainly worth considering later on.

2014newme · 27/02/2017 17:04

Op is in no way setting her dd up to be a failure what nonsense. Whatever your child has an interest in doing you surely support them. How is being interested in a particular uni be it Cambridge or Scarborough poly setting up for failure! Aspirations and dreams are free.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 27/02/2017 17:05

Thank you Obsidian. I can see what you mean. My friend said that she benefitted from some of the amazing tutors. However, she also said that there are a lot of rich kids with drug addictions and other issues. I have no idea h widespread this is.

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ElinorRigby · 27/02/2017 17:52

I don't think polytechnics have existed for some time...

MidLifeCrisis007 · 27/02/2017 18:19

My DS (aged 9) doesn't just want to go to Oxford, but also wants to row in the Boat Race. Unless they introduce a degree in Pokemon Go or Minecraft, it's looking very unlikely.

2014newme · 27/02/2017 18:20

Yes mine wants to study gymnastics there

Wigeon · 27/02/2017 19:35

Well, I was there in 1998-2001, but there were plenty of state school non-rich kids at my college, and I didn't notice any drugs (but then I'm very straight-laced). But there certainly didn't seem to be a big drugs problem. Or lots of rich kids. Apparently Bristol has a lower intake of state school kids than Cambridge, Durham or Exeter. My SIL (at Bristol) certainly seemed to meet more ex Eton boys than I did at Cambridge (i.e. none).

I also don't think you need "a unique kind of thinking style". I agree with Obsidian that "well-read, intellectually curious, able to have interesting conversations" is more like it.

But I really think that it's a bit ridiculous to be thinking about university at all, let alone Oxbridge, aged 13. If she is bright and able, she should just work hard now, then choose decent GCSEs, then do decent A Levels. But hopefully her school will be supporting her to choose the right GCSE and A Level options anyway, regardless of any Oxbridge ambition. And I think if you create any kind of mystique about Oxbridge, then ending up at, say, Bristol, or Durham, is going to feel like failure, when they are extremely decent universities too.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 27/02/2017 21:03

My dad thinks she should apply to the Royal College of Art. My friend who went to magdalen studied classics and is now a choreographer so her degree is somewhat unrelated. I am not sure how to advise her. One factor is that she doesn't like the idea of living in London.

She's a very unusual girl - really not into what most teenagers are.

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NinonDeLanclos · 27/02/2017 21:07

An academic Oxbridge degree is much more versatile and widely employable than an art degree - unless you actually want to be an artist. You can do art at Oxford - Ruskin - but in my day, the Slade was better.

I really wouldn't worry about where she thinks she wants to live at 13. She will have changed her mind in 5 years!

user789653241 · 28/02/2017 07:52

Ferrisday, if you use lots of online resources, you would encounter a lot of uni created sites.
Best uni has more interesting sites that encourage young children.

goodbyestranger · 28/02/2017 08:24

I agree with Pleasejustgetdressed.

Give her a break and don't read too much into an enthusiastic teacher using the word 'brilliant'. She may be, but equally she may just have a teacher given to that sort of language.

Also, apart from setting her up to fail, how will it alter what she does for the next few years? No GCSE choices are make or break for History, not even History!

I guess it may not be too young to think about it for her in the back of your mind, ready to suggest it after GCSE results are out, if it hasn't occurred to her herself at that stage, but not as a active, plan making thing - I've seen a clutch of DC fail, and it hurt them far more than the ones who hadn't nursed it as a dream early on, in all cases prompted by the parent or parents. One of those DC got rejected twice, re-applying because she couldn't let go of the dream, especially since she had always been told she was brilliant and had almost undiluted A*s.

Be cautious anyhow.

LooseAtTheSeams · 28/02/2017 09:22

At my FE college we have Access students apply to Oxbridge and get in so they clearly take all sorts!
At this stage though I would really keep options open - talk about it but alongside art college and other universities. I know someone at Cambridge now who wanted very much to be there but would have been happy getting into Bristol and she had a friend who didn't get a place at Cambridge and did go to Bristol - to her relief because the course there matched her interests much better! So I would say stress that she finds the right course for her!
Also, you'll need to do your research on admissions - my friend said getting into Cambridge was almost like taking another A level! Smile
I sympathise though. I have a y10 with a real talent for drawing - and computer science! Absolutely no idea where he will end up at this stage!

corythatwas · 28/02/2017 09:39

It's good to have dreams but also to be flexible and understand that the fulfilment of those dreams may come in different guises. At this stage I'd suggest she concentrates on widening and deepening her actual interests- that will help her to see where she wants to take them.

About Oxbridge interviews, I don't think it is that you need to be drilled into some kind of special interview technique: my understanding is that you need to demonstrate that you have an intellectual curiosity and enjoy an intellectual challenge. The best way to develop those qualities is to go deeply into your subjects and challenge yourself. Read widely and not just what is on the curriculum, think critically.

Original poster
lottieandmia · 28/02/2017 11:11

Goodbye - I am not a pushy parent. It's just a thought. She's interested in the idea. I wouldn't mind if she chose not to go to university at all. Her teachers did say her scores are unusually high. I'm not one of those parents who compares my children to others and tries to push them into stuff they don't want to do.

I would think there are a lot of people who could get into Oxbridge and don't realise it. So it's good to consider all options.

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GetAHaircutCarl · 28/02/2017 11:19

It's fine to think about it.
But it's a very bad idea to let a young person become very attached to the idea.

No matter how brilliant, how prepared, how perfect for Oxbridge a student may be, the odds are against them.

My advice to any young person harbouring hopes of highly competitive courses/careers would be to remain focussed on current events.

GetAHaircutCarl · 28/02/2017 11:25

I would also add that apart from ensuring that she doesn't discount Oxbridge and that her GCSE options are appropriate, there is absolutely nothing she needs to do five years in advance.

nightswimming1 · 28/02/2017 11:57

Great advice from @getahaircutcarl in my view. Oxbridge decisions can be very random and it's so important not to let a child be fixated on the expectation of Oxbridge, no matter how exceptional he may be.