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Original poster

Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

771 replies

indignatio · 28/02/2007 16:05

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

OP posts:
Eliza2 · 03/10/2007 15:51

I was a terribly dreamy child. Really worried my parents and the schools, right up to the time I went to university and used to zone out in tutorials. I just liked my own little world.

I'm a novelist now. Still like to sit in my own little world, populating it with characters and settings. I had to work hard to get through school and university, and to hold down various jobs, but found, as I got older, that I could manage to control my imaginative lapses. Except for when I'm working on a book, when it's useful to be able to 'be' somewhere else.

Still get on wrong trains and miss my stop, though. Specially if I'm reading.

Bink · 03/10/2007 16:24

You must be purposeful as well as dreamy, though, Eliza? - to be able to write your novels - that takes discipline. I'd be quite quite happy if my dreamer ended up that way.

Incidentally, because it is so lovely & not unrelated, I have to pass on what my daughter (not my dreamy son) told us on the way to school.

"I had a dream that two ducks
each as big as a person
came to my room and told me stories.
I told my friend, but she didn't believe me.
So I organised a playdate.
And then on the playdate, two pigeons
each as big as a person
came to my room and told us poems."

Ellbell · 03/10/2007 16:28

LOL Bink. That's lovely.

My dd2 is so undreamy it's untrue. E.g. yesterday we had this conversation.

DD2: So X said to me 'Fancy a snog?' [she is 5 btw, as is X] and, well, I was speechless!
Me [laughing]: OMG. What did you say to him?
DD2 Confused: I didn't say anything. I was speechless.

Dreamy dd1 wouldn't dream of saying things and meaning them in such a literal way.

Your nanny sounds a good 'un, Bink. Sounds like she 'gets' your ds. Good luck for tomorrow.

Eliza2 · 03/10/2007 18:43

Disciplined but only after years of pain!

Bink · 04/10/2007 11:46

Just an update. Ds did a very good job of staying on the ball during our
Tube trip this morning, including leading me to the barriers and saying "Mummy, you go through there with your Oyster card and I'll see you on the other side" as he went round to be let through the gate by the guard. And stopping by the map to work out for himself exactly which direction (westbound, southbound, etc.) we needed.

We did not miss our stop.

Ellbell · 04/10/2007 12:21

Hey! Well done BinkBoy! That's great. Actually, since dd1 started Junior School I've been letting her walk home 'on her own' on a Friday (which is the only I pick the girls up rather than them going to the cm). It's really not as big a deal as it sounds as we live within sight of the school gate and I tend to pick up dd2 from the infants and then sort of lurk in our drive waiting for dd1 to emerge (last, of course!) and then I watch her home. Nonetheless, I have noticed that she takes this responsibility very seriously, crosses the road with great care and is very proud of herself when she makes it 'all the way' home on her own.

Just realised that yesterday I wished you good luck for today rather than Friday. I was labouring under the illusion that yesterday was Thursday. Wishful thinking!

maggiems · 04/10/2007 20:54

Good luck tomorrow Bink. hopefully its not all doom and gloom.Let us know how it goes

Hallgerda · 04/10/2007 20:58

All the best for tomorrow, Bink.

singersgirl · 04/10/2007 23:16

Hope everything goes well tomorrow, Bink. Your DS sounds as if he coped brilliantly with the school journey!

sphil · 04/10/2007 23:44

Good luck Bink though I hope you're not up late enough to see this - don't know why I am really!

Original poster
indignatio · 05/10/2007 10:21

Thinking of you Bink

OP posts:
Bink · 05/10/2007 11:14

Well thank you so much everyone - does anyone else feel (like me) that this thread is a real "home"?

So ... trigger for meeting was apparently ds having reached the school's ceiling of time-outs (their sanction system) - so effectively just a formal trigger - but then also a necessary chance to talk about how things are going just now.

Meeting was every bit as co-operative and cordial as they usually are (that is big credit to the school and I will claim a bit of credit too ) - and we got very quickly into what they think main current problem is - which is not the intractability thing, but ds's non-processing of being told off (hence all the time-outs). He'll say sorry, fairly convincingly, but whatever he then goes on to do next shows that it's just lip-service & he hasn't any interest in doing anything to show he's sorry. So we talked lots about how to foster that & it was all very practical & constructive & optimistic.

And I got to say my piece about how ds's biggest fundamental problem at his last school (social alienation & his starting to make deliberate choices to alienate himself) has been so turned around by this school - and that some of the difficulties they're coping with stem (paradoxically) from having solved that problem - ie, because he now has so many friends, he's engaging with them instead of the teachers. (This all sounds self-evident doesn't it? - but that's the proof of a good meeting - that between you, you make sense of the whole situation.)

As to diagnosis, we did talk about pursuing that - turns out school still thinks (as do I) that ds has so many bits and pieces of different issues, without having an overall shape that says one thing or another, that pushing for something as specific as a diagnosis is going to be a wild goose chase. Instead, we've been given details of a consultant psychiatrist whose practice is especially with "limbo" children like this, & I think we will take ds to see him - not for a diagnosis, but for a bigger picture. And possibly a bit of help with the crystal ball of prognosis ...

Also I just think ds and children like him (in which I include all our dreamers) are so fascinating that I'd really love to see how an academic specialist looks at it all.

So there you are. I like his school.

katepol · 05/10/2007 11:20

Wow Bink. That sound like a very constructive meeting - the school are working with you - hurrah! They actually want to do their best for your ds, rather than tolerating (or not) his idiosyncrasies...
I get what you mean about diagnosis being a wild goose chase. The idea of getting perhaps a bigger picture from an 'expert' does sound very interesting though.
Really pleased to hear it went so well, so nice to be treated as a rational adult!

Thanks too for your advice to me earlier in the week - will respond when I have more time...

Ellbell · 05/10/2007 12:10

Oh Bink. That sounds really constructive. I'm so glad you've found this school. I hope the meeting with the psychiatrist goes well. I am of the view that another point of view (preferably an informed one) is always useful.

Earlybird · 05/10/2007 12:25

Hi Bink! Haven't 'bumped into you' online lately, but that may be partially because I'm not here much, and even then, tend to appear at unsocial time zone mandated hours.

I'm so glad the meeting went well. It must be a huge relief to be in a place where ds gets the support he needs to thrive - sort of as if you've finally found the oasis in the desert instead of being seduced/let down by mirages?

Take care, and hope to 'see' you again soon.

Original poster
indignatio · 05/10/2007 13:22

Sounds like it was a good meeting - I am pleased (and relieved) for you.

OP posts:
maggiems · 05/10/2007 15:28

Just in from school run and had to check this out first! It all sounds very positive and it must be a great relief to have people at the school that understands and agrees with you about your DS.Hopefully you can relax a bot now and enjoy your weekend

maggiems · 05/10/2007 15:35

DT2 came out of school today with a prize for getting 13 stars. Am sure all get one at some point but am pleased anyway. he also said he got all his spellings and sentances done on time. First time he said that, he always says he didnt get finished. Unfortunately (or fortunately maybe) DT2 doesnt come home with his spellings test on Friday unlike Dt1 .(nobody does in Dt2's class for some reason) so i dont know if they were right or not but at least he seems to be working a bit quicker.

singersgirl · 05/10/2007 18:56

That sounds like a really constructive and helpful meeting, Bink. It is wonderful that your DS has now got friends and it sounds like an extremely supportive environment.

Glad to hear that DT2 has got his stars and is getting on with his work, Maggie. I have this worry with DS2 now more than DS1; apparently he spends a lot of time with his head on his arms on the desk.

sphil · 05/10/2007 23:03

Bink - it sounds like a wonderful school. So glad the meeting was constructive. Isn't it great when teachers are specific about problems rather than waffling?

Well done to little Maggiems - good news about the finishing work. DS1 also seems to be on a positive roll atm. He came home yesterday saying he'd answered a question in assembly - 400 kids - this from a boy who would hardly ever raise his hand in class last year. I think his 'badge award' has given him a real injection of confidence (despite the fact that I lost the back of it on the first morning - luckily we found it on the road at the end of school...)

maggiems · 06/10/2007 11:49

just after my last post I discovered that DT2 is now getting some extra help at school.Last year the head said that they hoped to get someone in to do extra work with some of the younger children that needed it. Then at the beginning of term a note came as part of the weekly newsletter to say that Mrs X who is covering Mrs Y's maternity leave would have 2/3 days a week to spend on yr1 and yr2 children that needed help as Mrs Y is on job sharing . Heard no more until today but apparantly Dt2 has had 2 sessions on his own with her. Some others in the other yr2 class have been with her too. He says he likes it as there is no noise and its easier to work. I was becasue he is getting some help and because he needed it. However once I heard from Dt1 that some others were getting some too I didnt feel so bad. Not surprisingly all the ones getting the help are summer born boys. I hope he continues to have the sessions on his own as I really think that will help.

maggiems · 06/10/2007 11:51

meant to say welcome to all the newbees. Wont say all the names as I will leave someone out! I had not posted much recently as had nothing much to say but I have enjoyed reading all your stories and the similiar traits that many of our Dc's have

sphil · 06/10/2007 21:33

DS1 was taken out for extra help in Reception and Year 1 (in his old school) and liked it for the very same reason. I think for children with high distractibility and possible auditory processing difficulties a quiet atmosphere is very important. Since he's moved to his new school (where the classes are much more controlled) DS1 hasn't complained about the noise once - and interestingly, they don't see the need to give him extra help (though he does have a TA sitting with his writing group most of the time because it's the lowest ability group).

I don't think there's anything wrong with noisy classrooms btw - they just don't suit DS1!

castlesintheair · 08/10/2007 10:18

Only skimming (as there is so much to read!) but everyone seems to be doing really well at the moment.

DS is off school today with probable tonsillitis/ear infection AGAIN. Are other dreamers prone to these? Someone (a paed?) said they can have a marked effect on listening ability (because they can't hear for a while so don't bother listening when they are better) and behaviour.

Will try and catch up on everything later.

Hallgerda · 08/10/2007 10:59

castlesintheair, DS3, along with my other two children, usually ends the year with a 100% attendance certificate (though that might be partly down to my unsympathetic attitude ). So no link there. I hope your DS gets better soon.

DS3 got a certificate for history on Friday, so things seem to be looking up. First parents' evening of the year is on Thursday, so I'll see what the new teacher has to say then...

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