Calling all parents: would you be happy with a nursery worker giving your child a small birthday present?

[tsubaki1993]

Hi All

Basically im a nursery assistant apprentice, only joined 7 months ago. I have aspergers and dyspraxia. A couple of my key children have birthdays coming up and I bought them a £1.00 teddy and a card, but now I am too nervous to give them to them in case the parents aren't happy and the staff kick off; as honestly the way my colleagues feel about me I think they'd rather hang out with typhoid Mary.

Just was wondering really as parents would you be happy with a nursery worker, key worker or otherwise giving your child a card and small present on their birthday? thanks in advance

Erm probably wouldn't do it unless it was a collective gift from the nursery on the whole.

No. I don't think it's appropriate, sorry.

ahh fair enough, I'll leave off in that case. thank you though :)

As a parent of the child receiving it I would be happy to accept and I'm sure child would love it

As a parent who has a child with a different key worker and doesn't receive a birthday gift I might wonder why (though I wouldn't say) and child would probably notice if he had seen other friends getting something on their birthdays.

Maybe stick with the card? Lovely that you are thinking of them, happy child and parent but other children and parents wouldn't be bothered if they didn't get one from their keyworker.

Lovely idea though very kind of you and you obviously care a great deal about the kids in your care

What FeelingSmurfy said. A card would be lovely IMO, and not too much at all

personally i wouldnt mind and would think it was a nice thing to do. Id be a bit puzzled if you only did it for one child and not all the children. However if you do it for all your key children, it may make your colleagues obliged to do the same for the sake of fairness for all the kids in the nursery and they might resent you for that.

Is a £1 teddy safe for nursery age children (or under 3s) was my first thought.

It's a nice idea and I can't see a parent of the recipient objecting, but I can see it causing trouble with the children or parents who don't get one

Check out the policy of the nursery as you may not be allowed to .

I wouldn't just because of the things that others have said, but it's a REALLY lovely thought OP and I would be made up if someone bought my DS a card/present from nursery.

it would be more appropriate to make them a card with the children in your key group.

My DS formed an incredibly strong bond with his first nursery key worker, she bought him birthday presents and also gave him £10 in a card at Christmas. She didn't do it for any of the others. He was without a doubt the favourite

He has now moved up out of the baby room and into the next room and she is no longer his key worker but she still bought him a Christmas present and I suspect she will also get him a birthday present.
I don't mind at all, makes me happy that somebody truly cares about my son at nursery (and not just because it's their job iyswim)

Even now if he gets upset at drop off or he hurts himself, she is the only one that can calm him down. Such a shame that she couldn't move to the next room with him! He absolutely adores her, it's very sweet

Give them the little present OP, it's very kind of you

I thought about it, but now im really spooked to be honest. I have already been accused of being a mollycoddler, (dispite them actually giving me an award for being the best newcomer, granted said award was given after I complained about a senior staff member bullying me, said bullying has gotten worse, especially as management were irritated by me complaining)

Man what was I thinking, typing this out now has made me think. I would ordinarily make one with the kids, I have to get my room leader's permission and considering she acts like everything I do is pretty much signing the children up to the equivalent of the Hitler Youth. No, playing it safe is better, thanks for the replies. I think I better just lie low, and hope for the best and just say I hope they have a good birthday or something.

(the children are older than 3, I wouldn't risk giving them something harmful Figure17A) :)

I work in a preschool and we have something within our policies that we cannot give gifts to individual children. It's to do with safeguarding, miaking sure they arent being favoured or groomed. I think a card from 'all your friends at x nursery' would be the safest option.

It is a shame that society makes people think the worst when someone shows them a kindness.

*before I complained I meant xD been up since the early hours with a chest infection

I totally agree regarding the whole grooming thing. To be honest I would not have considered risking it, its just my room leader's child is in the same room and she actively encouraged birthday gifts for her son two weeks ago from other parents and staff.

as a teacher, I don't give birthday gifts ever, as there is always a chance of forgetting someone, or not being able to afford the same value for a child with a birthday in a different month.

However, i give Christmas gifts, when I can give a small gift to the whole cohort all at once,

Save your teddies, if you are sure they are safe for this age. They can be Christmas gifts, or get well gifts specifically for children who are off ill for a while, it that ever happens.