How you afford private school fees?

[notsurehowtodothis]

This isn't intended to be a state vs. private school debate. We are just looking at all the options locally for our two DCs including both state and private schooling and, as our local private schools are in the region of £15-18k per child per year, I just wondered for those of you who pay for private schooling, especially for more than one child, how you find it (as in, what's it like, not 'where' you find it!) making such significant payments each year? And if you've found any great ways to make the payments easier? DH and I only have three viable kidneys between us so options there are limited.....

Scrimp and save and go without virtually everything. Shop for clothes on eBay and secondhand shops. Bonus pays most fees but run 2 jobs too. Cut back to 1 car and no holidays. Def worth it, IMO.

Gin, £1200 a month left over from your household budget if you just run one car and shop on eBay?

How much do you think most people spend on clothes? 😳

I'm very aware that the vast majority can't afford school fees. But we are in the category described by minifingers above we are definitely not scratching around to make ends meet but we're not very wealthy either. We decided to pay for education, to live in a small falling down house house with smallish mortgage, have one cheap holiday; the yearly camping in France sort of thing, drive cheapish but reliable cars; no huge four wheel drives etc. and it was one of the reasons why I chucked in my very expensive hobby; horse ownership. Since DS2 left we've had a holiday of a life time and our now thinking about a similiar one next year, been to the opera Glynbourne etc three of four times, and done major repairs on our house we're talking roof overhaul, new boiler, and I've gone back to horses. All this has added up to well over two terms school fees (boarding).
It was our choice and I don't for one minute regret paying for education, and not doing lots of other things for the last 11 years. I love my falling down little cottage, we've had great holidays in France and have wonderful happy memories. Maybe I'm just being optimistic but it's just remotely possible that I ride better for a 10 year break and I now realise that find the right place to ride and you don't have to actually own horses to enjoy them (which is a relief) and I'm not that mad on the opera (DH is) so not going for years has not exactly been the end of the world.
We all make decision about how we choose to spend our money no one can or should tell you what to do with it there is no right or wrong

I have absolutely no idea how other people at my DC school pay their fees and whether there are trust funds or grandparents involved. I wouldn't ask and it's not information people offer.

We pay one set of fees from our monthly income and the second set, which finish this year, have come from DH's bonus every year. We have enough savings to pay off the second set and if we couldn't we would remortgage to pay the remaining fees. We afforded it initially by putting off an extension we were planning on doing for a few years.

DH and I were discussing this yesterday as we have reluctantly come to the conclusion that a private school will be best for our DD when she leaves primary school.

The fees for the school we are considering are £12k a year. She leaves primary school in three years time so we have worked out that we can put away £12k a year out of DHs annual bonus starting this year so that by the time she starts we will have three years of fees already put away. That money would usually be used to pay chunks off of our mortgage or to do home improvements so we would be paying the school fees at the expense of that.

We've been looking at this. Our income is around £50k joint, both working, 11 year old car etc. One twin will be going to grammar. The other is very borderline so we looked into independent at £12k per year and are awaiting results of scholarship, which will take it to £6k a year. We could do the £6k, however, I have been underwhelmed by the academic performance of the school. Here are some tips to cover costs:

1. Send the children when they are secondary age, not for primary
2. start saving now!
3. shop around - some schools are cheaper than others. More expensive does not mean better. Likewise, you really need to vet the school to see if it is a good fit for your family
4. Look for scholarships and bursaries
5. some schools offer a discount if fees are paid upfront
6. we found that different people are paying different rates at the same school - so not sure if negotiation is possible or different rates of scholarship/bursary
7. Not sure what your reasons are for independent, but make sure you check out your local state comp and grammar. They may not be smaller, but they may offer more academically, socially and spiritually!
8. be happy that £36k is still do-able. I am sure with those figures you could go independent - maybe not to some of the crazy priced ones, but somewhere that you all like.

Good luck!

It was a very, very long time ago but my sister went to private school. We were a low-middle income family and it was paid for by:

• 50%scholarship

-Both parents working (although my mum had a low paid job)long hours also anti social hours- dad worked away 4 days a week and mum worked 11-7.30 so I really never saw them

• had us 10 years apart and only two children

-uniforms second hand, books second hand, no expensive hobbies or trips. -Saved before and scrimped during.

I didn't get a scholarship so I went to a (very good)selective grammar. We both had a good education, went on to good universities and got good degrees. We both agree it wasn't worth it but totally understand where our parents were coming from. My mum got pregnant, then married and left school at 17 and our schooling was incredibly important to her. She will be turning in her grave to know we both became SAHMs.

Oh and some fees are inclusive of meals - check that as it could make a big difference.

We have 2 in private primary at about 9k per year per child and one in state secondary on a gross combined salary of around £120K. We have a smallish mortgage and also often have a lodger whose 6K per annum rent essentially funds nice-ish family holidays. We've chosen to do this with grammar as the aim for secondary (with possible private if grammar doesn't work out and the local private schools are reasonably generous with scholarships - but of course they aren't the big public schools) as it seemed the most sensible for the kids - advantages of small classes with minimal disruption at primary but the local grammar offering a lot (solids results, great extra-curricular - rugby, orchestra, science and tech clubs etc) for nothing compared to the local private secondaries which means we can have a more comfortable standard of living. Kids quite spaced out too so not had 3 fees to pay at once.

Sent DC just to Secondary, even though he got a place at a free Grammar School (initially I didn't want to but he did very much). At Matriculation there were a lot of prep school boys. I was concerned, however he fitted in fine with his peers. Adapting to the very different style of the school after a very laid back primary was more of a challenge, but again fine in the long term.
Not exactly, how to afford it but I rationalised it as working to pay his fees Monday and Tueday, covering the rest of household expenses. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Was it for worth it? For my DC yes.

NickyEds : She will be turning in her grave to know we both became SAHMs.

I'm sure she would be very proud because, to my mind at least, despite a massively pressured and highly stressful former career in financial services, I swear this (as I'm now a SAHM too) is one of the hardest jobs in the world!

Thanks everyone, this is so helpful and I really appreciate hearing all your views and experiences. It's the very frightening sum appearing on my calculator when I tot up an education's-worth of fees for two kids that's spooked me! But as you all say, it's about weighing up what the benefits are (or aren't, of course). Thanks.

Aga running costs - :-D

OP paying doesn't mean it will be better. My two DS's have spent time in both sectors since starting school in reception. DS2 has just left he spent all of his time in independent ed. (boarding) since yr, 2 DS1 when you tot in up 50:50. They've experienced crap in both, and in schools with excellent reputations, neither have a monoloply on great teachers The important are important thing to remember; no where is perfect, even the school which Ill not name just off the M4 and whether you pay or not in the ideal world whatever the school's ethos is; pushy, liberal, Steiner, arty, etc you as a family and your DC needs to fit it and believe in it. Paying also broadens your choice.

We run our own business and after we got married and started thinking children invested with the intention of creating a 40k a year income. We've been lucky enough to have achieved that before they've started and in our minds that bit of business income is for school fees.

If I'm honest, the children are also beneficiaries of a discretionary trust thanks grandpa meaning they will probably pay 10k each of their own school fees thus making the most of their personal allowance.

But we also don't have a mortgage and live rather frugally now as we would rather invest in our business. We met and married late and didn't have children till our mid 30's yet had both been aiming for this kind of financial security since early 20s. A lot of our opportunities though have come from our parents backing our businesses financially.

School fees (2DC - one primary, one secondary) come to about £27000 per year. I reckon we spend an extra £5000 on uniform/equipment/trips (DS has 3 residential trips this year, DD has 2. All of which are optional).

We pay the school fees out of the money we earn. Both DH and I work FT - our combined take home pay is just under £7000 a month. My bonus pays for the school trips and family holidays.

We feel reasonably comfortable paying the fees because we also have around £80k in savings. We prioritise family holidays over home improvements. We do have a reasonably large house, but the decor is dated and a bit shabby.

mini
Makes me laugh the number of people who say that they prioritise school fees over 10K holidays and top of the range luxury cars. Note: very few people can afford either and even fewer can afford both!

What you say is may be true to some extent, but there are plenty of people sending their children to state schools in affluent areas, who have more money than some people sending their children to private schools. The former are able to put money in an expensive house which will be a tax free investment. They may well have more holidays, better clothes and cars than some parents of children at private schools who have made a priority of the sending their children there.

It can be a case of prioritising private school fees by having a very old car or none, and very cheap holiday or none, quite a lot of Oxfam clothes etc

No mortgage. 2 full time salaries. We pay annually upfront for a small saving and then save every month so we can pay the next year. We also saved the same amount for a few years before dc started so we had a cushion an knew we could afford it. We don't spend huge amounts on cars / holidays and other things - but don't have to watch every penny either.

Huge variation at dc schools from what I see. Lots of trust funds / grandparent help, some huge earners and lots of people with huge mortgages.

I work in a call centre and I'm on the game
Sold my shoes etc.

Do you discuss with other parents how they pay the fees? I've currently got 2 in 2 different private schools and I have never even heard anyone mention the fees let alone how they pay them.

No exactly discuss, but conversations over the years might mention trust funds and grandparent help, or looking forward to dc finishing so they can reduce working hours or finally pay off some the mortgage capital

"It can be a case of prioritising private school fees by having a very old car or none, and very cheap holiday or none, quite a lot of Oxfam clothes etc"

None of these things will save you the 12 to 14K a year necessary for school fees.

I think privately educating parents live in a different world to the rest of us. Their children certainly do (which is part of the appeal of private schools I imagine).

We have talked around the payment of fee's over the years - some parents are obviously wealthy (sports men / tv people) others are more 'normal' families, where both parents work and we joke about losing a kidney etc as the fee's are due.

I personally pay school fee's with my ds maintenance, topped up with my wage. We live in an okay but not great area, and when we holiday it is this country and usually a YHA or B&B in a nice location. I pay monthly and try and get a little bit ahead of myself where I can.

At DS school, meals and most trips are included and people almost pride themselves on sharing second hand uniform and passing on gym bags etc. Ironically, the biggest expense I have found that is out of the ordinary, is for school photos. 3 photos cost £65 and were the cheapest option...... my friend complained to her school as she had to pay £12 for 3!

Lastly, one of the reasons I chose DS school (apart from it being the most lovely, nurturing place!) was because of the really high percentage of pupils who go on to get scholarships at senior schools. I consider myself paying out heftily now at pre-prep, to save a bit more later..... well, that is the hope anyway!

I should add, I am a single parent - Ds dad pays £500 a month maintenance, and I put aside £500 of 'my' money at moment. I wouldn't say that makes me live in a different world minifingerz but I can see that my circumstances are not standard.

KindDogs

I know what you mean and there are many different scenarios.
We are a low income family and must seem very poor to those who can afford private fees.
My dd school is private boarding but very heavily subsidised and free to the poorest.
We still have to pay and even though it's only as much as a term to some
we still have to prioritise fees over a new car, expensive holiday etc and I think we should considering the financial support they receive.
There are people from all income brackets prioritising a private education of some form.