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Original poster

Told off on school run

159 replies

J1xxx · 27/10/2016 19:34

I am a single dad with a full time job as a solicitor in the cc, and therefore don't have much time to waste in the mornings. Today I was dropping my two dd's off at primary school and was running late for work so I pulled up outside school and let them get out and go to the playground together (they are in years 4+5 so responsible enough to cross a road). Anyway later on when picking them up I was confronted by one of the teaching assistants who waits at the gates who said I had been driving dangerously! I was quite embarrassed and told her I was very busy and it was none of her business. Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Manumission · 27/10/2016 20:14

The question is if you actually stopped or just slowed slightly and got them to tuck and roll

😂

a7mints · 27/10/2016 20:14

I would definitely ask her to clarify what part of your driving was 'dangerous' and report back to us!
Maybe you mowed down a child or 2 without noticing Wink

Manumission · 27/10/2016 20:15

It sounds like a case of an officious TA taking gate duty a bit seriously. Did you actually ask her what it was about your driving that she considered dangerous?

maudeismyfavouritepony · 27/10/2016 20:15

Hey Op, you might find yourself quoted on this thread given you are a solicitor and very busy, unlike the rest of us mere mortals..... Grin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2756979-Strange-and-amusing-incidents-of-unwarranted-self-importance?

And yes it is her business, she is safeguarding the children you might knock over next time. Chump.

midcenturymodern · 27/10/2016 20:16

Could it be because I didn't actually park and just stopped?

If you just stopped in the middle of the road then, obviously, especially as you stopped opposite the zig zags. The zig zags are the place where children cross, there is supposed to be 'unrestricted view'. Just because your wheels aren't on them doesn't mean it's safe to stop there.

There were no cars around

Outside a school at drop off time? Are you sure? Are you sure that someone wouldn't come up on the road behind you while your children were getting out? Are you sure they wouldn't attempt to overtake you because they don't have time to wait as they are important solicitors who can't be late?If there were no cars then why not stop 20 yards away where there are no zig zags?

janethegirl2 · 27/10/2016 20:17

It's not half term in Leicestershire either.

Chinlo · 27/10/2016 20:17

If she thought you were driving dangerously outside the school, then it obviously IS her business. It couldn't really be more her business.

category12 · 27/10/2016 20:17

Everyone's busy and important to themselves. You'd be better thinking about leaving home earlier so you're not in such a rush in the mornings, Mr No Time To Waste.

The TA is the one who saw your driving and was moved enough to remember to confront you about it at the end of the day - instead of getting all defensive and self-righteous, perhaps she had a point.

ShatnersBassoon · 27/10/2016 20:18

I hope you made it very clear to the TA that you're a solicitor. She'll have no idea what it's like having to get to work on time.

Hmm
JenLindleyShitMom · 27/10/2016 20:18

Were you going faster than 20mph?

Grin it was a drive by drop off!

roundaboutthetown · 27/10/2016 20:18

Did your children get out the pavement side or the road side of your car? TBH, I hate people parking opposite the zig zag lines - you are still making it dangerous for the children who cross the road there, given that they have to cross from one side to the other and there you are, in their way and obstructing their view when crossing over to school. It's possible you didn't notice a small child about to cross or something, if she felt your driving was so bad that she had to comment upon it.

golfbuggy · 27/10/2016 20:19

It's hard to know without being there.
I regularly pull up near school (in an area where there are no zig-zags, yellow lines and it is safe to do so) and let the DC out. So do many other parents. If you did similarly, then I can't see a problem.

If you were driving too quickly, stopped in a dangerous place or failed to pay attention to others around you, then the TA may have had a point.

SpeakNoWords · 27/10/2016 20:20

When you drove up to the school, were you going faster than 20mph before you stopped?

PourMeAGlassOfMilk · 27/10/2016 20:20

Some counties in England aren't on half term this week. Cheshire has it next week. At ages 8-10 surely they're old enough to walk across a road and in through the gate themselves?! A lot of parents with older children at DS's primary school don't take them right up to the gates.

If you stopped on zigzag lines though, that's not really on. I suppose the question is more about where you pulled up rather than how far your kids had to walk.

Chinlo · 27/10/2016 20:22

It's just such a weird and OTT response. If somebody working at the school told me I had been driving dangerously that morning and I didn't think I had been, I'd respond like "Really? I didn't think I was. What did I do that was dangerous?"

I can't see any situation where my response would be "I was very busy and it's none of your business".

a7mints · 27/10/2016 20:24

Can you bring a case for slander?

MaddyHatter · 27/10/2016 20:25

Were you speeding?

did you just stop in the road or pull over?

did they exit the car on the pavement side or straight out into the road?

Did you zoom off?

If you weren't speeding, pulled over to let them out, the kids got out on the pavement side and crossed sensibly, and you then pulled off safely, then she's a busy body.

If you just let them out into the road without actually pulling over and then zoomed off like you just dropped a criminal, then you were driving dangerously.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/10/2016 20:26

You're a solicitor so I suppose it's your default position to argue? Grin

You could sue for "unwarranted telling off", or just put it down to an over cautious member of school staff, which isn't such a bad thing..

Cherrysoup · 27/10/2016 20:27

Were you driving dangerously or was she just pissed off that you didn't do the whole walk them in, kiss goodbye thing? Which at their age, I'd be surprised to see.

I don't understand why you were in such a rush and so busy. Just be more organised and leave home 5 minutes earlier so you don't have to rush.

BoffinMum · 27/10/2016 20:27

Schools enjoy telling parents off. It's a power thing. They also forget parents are not actually their pupils. I would nod and smile vacantly and ignore this unless you think you were actually doing something dangerous (which I doubt you were from the sound of it).

Original poster
J1xxx · 27/10/2016 20:27

Chinlo, those weren't my exact words they were just the general gist. I was in the playground waiting and she approached me and asked why I was driving dangerously this morning. I told her that as far as I knew I wasn't, but was very busy and she gave me a weird, smug look. That was when I told her it wasn't her business, and walked away with my kids.

OP posts:
Chinlo · 27/10/2016 20:29

Fair enough. It seems unlikely that she would say anything if she didn't actually believe you were driving dangerously though. I mean, if you really did NOTHING dangerous, then either she sees danger where there is none and must therefore spend every day telling hundreds of parents how dangerous their driving is, or she has some personal vendetta against you.

Original poster
J1xxx · 27/10/2016 20:32

Cherrysoup, today was quite hectic as dd2 was kicking off about something irrelevant, anyway we ended up setting off later than usual so I didn't have as much time to get to work, making me in a bit of a rush.

OP posts:
SpeakNoWords · 27/10/2016 20:34

Could you answer the question about how fast you were driving and how you stopped? Assuming you know how fast you were going.

Sparklingbrook · 27/10/2016 20:34

I am baffled. So were you driving dangerously or not? Confused Not sure how we can solve this one for you.

YY to just leave more time for your journey.