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Original poster

Told off on school run

159 replies

J1xxx · 27/10/2016 19:34

I am a single dad with a full time job as a solicitor in the cc, and therefore don't have much time to waste in the mornings. Today I was dropping my two dd's off at primary school and was running late for work so I pulled up outside school and let them get out and go to the playground together (they are in years 4+5 so responsible enough to cross a road). Anyway later on when picking them up I was confronted by one of the teaching assistants who waits at the gates who said I had been driving dangerously! I was quite embarrassed and told her I was very busy and it was none of her business. Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 27/10/2016 19:45

We are west lancs and kids are still in school. Kids from year 3 walk to school here - so year 4 and 5 more than capable of taking themselves in!

As for driving dangerously - none of us can comment on that as not there.

Original poster
J1xxx · 27/10/2016 19:45

Wow, this thread has blown up.
My children are in years 4 and 5 so are 9 and 10, not babies anymore lol.
And I wasn't driving fast or anything, the road has speed bumps.

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 27/10/2016 19:46

Sorry but at age 9-10 kids should defo be able to cross a road!

Lorelei76 · 27/10/2016 19:46

OP you could just ask her what part of your driving she considered dangerous? Much easier than asking us....

SuperManStoleMyPants · 27/10/2016 19:49

The question is if you actually stopped or just slowed slightly and got them to tuck and roll...Wink

I don't see how pulling up and chucking the children out can be classed as dangerous driving.

MarchEliza2 · 27/10/2016 19:50

Being busy doesn't mean it's ok to drive dangerously though. Also - it kind of is her business as she works there and part of her job is safeguarding children, yours included.

catkind · 27/10/2016 19:51

I would have been intrigued to know what they thought was dangerous about my driving. Dropping people off isn't against the highway code. Unless you stopped on the zigzag lines in which case I can see why they would comment, as those are specifically for keeping schoolchildren safe.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2016 19:51

J1xxx

That you had to include your job in the opening sentence makes me think that you think more of yourself than you should, look down on 'lowly' TAs and that you where in the wrong.

SpeakNoWords · 27/10/2016 19:52

Were you doing more than 20mph, and did you stop in the road rather than pulling over?

Your response to the teacher was unnecessarily rude. You should have asked her what she thought was dangerous and why. Then you could have had a constructive discussion with her about whether or not she was right.

It is teachers business about road safety outside schools, so she was totally right to speak to you about it.

WatchingFromTheWings · 27/10/2016 19:56

I doubt the teacher would have bothered to mention you were driving dangerously if you weren't. Think you should have just apologised.

hmmmum · 27/10/2016 19:56

It is her business! She works at the school and is concerned for the children.
As others have said, it would've been best to ask her what she meant so you could correct it for next time, instead of getting defensive. I sympathise with your busyness but taking care when driving at the school gates isn't relevant to that - "I was busy" isn't really a good excuse if a child gets hit, is it? It may well be you weren't actually driving dangerously and she was being overly critical but that's where asking her would've been helpful.

Original poster
J1xxx · 27/10/2016 19:58

BoneyBackJefferson, I included my job to show that I am a responsible person, and to show why I did not have the time to park up and walk my kids into the playground.
Anyway I am planning to ask her tomorrow, it will hopefully be her last day on 'patrol' as I have only seen her these holidays.

OP posts:
SpeakNoWords · 27/10/2016 20:01

Your job is irrelevant to whether or not you are responsible, or whether or not you have time! Leave earlier, it's not dependant on your job.

Can I suggest if you speak to her tomorrow, start with an apology and be conciliatory rather than hostile.

VikingVolva · 27/10/2016 20:01

"So I pulled up outside school"

Were you stopped on zigzags?

This isn't about whether your DZc are capable. It''s about good driving near schools so that risk is minimised for every DC

summerbreezer · 27/10/2016 20:01
  1. "Driving dangerously" has nothing to do with how you park or drop your kids off.
  1. Maybe ask the TA not us what the problem was
  1. Of course it is her business. She is not standing at the gates for the good of her health. She is there to make sure that the children coming into school are safe.
  1. I am also a lawyer, and I also work in the Crown Court. I also get late and also get busy (like pretty much everyone else in the world). I fail to see the relevance.
Chewbecca · 27/10/2016 20:02

All depends on what was dangerous about your driving - no one can properly opine without knowing that.

Pigeonpost · 27/10/2016 20:02

You haven't answered the question of whether you stopped on the yellow zig zag lines. Given that these are usually outside school entrances and that's where you say you stopped it seems likely that you did. And if you did that's what the issue was.

midcenturymodern · 27/10/2016 20:02

How are we supposed to know if you were driving dangerously or not? Given that you are trying to justify your actions based on being busy and important and the fact that you say there were no cars outside school at drop off time Hmm yet mysteriously there was nowhere for you to actually pull over rather than stop then I suspect you were driving like a bit of a dick. I don't know that though. Did you do that annoying thing were you stop 'just for a second' next to the zig zags, but not actually on them, and get in everyones way?

DontCallMeBaby · 27/10/2016 20:03

If you were driving dangerously, of course YABU. But we don't know that. However telling her you were busy (so what?) and that it was none of her business - YABU. It's everyone's business how people drive, especially outside a school. When I was a school governor the amount of time we used to put in to figuring out if there was anything we could do about parents driving like utter tits and putting kids in danger was astonishing.

JenLindleyShitMom · 27/10/2016 20:03

Also it's half term so where are you?

In your tiny part of the world it's half term. The world doesn't end with England.

roundaboutthetown · 27/10/2016 20:04

If you stopped directly outside the school, you probably parked (if your car stopped moving before your children got out, you were parked...) on the School Keep Clear signs... and I hate it when people self-importantly do that, because it's exactly where my children will be trying to cross the road to get to school and the last thing they need is some pillock parking in their way and then driving off without paying attention. That's why there are keep clear signs outside school entrances.

AnguaResurgam · 27/10/2016 20:06

Not even all of England is on half term!

And were you on the zigzags OP? Even in part?

Original poster
J1xxx · 27/10/2016 20:08

Sorry I must have failed to make myself clear!! I wasn't on the zig-zag lines as the school was on my right, I was across the road.

OP posts:
SpeakNoWords · 27/10/2016 20:09

Did you stop in the road, or did you pull over and park at the side of the road? Were you going faster than 20mph?

ample · 27/10/2016 20:10

Grin @ 'tiny children'

Children shouldn't cross the road without an adult

Plenty do at ages 9, 10, 11.
And most will need to after they have moved on from primary.