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Original poster

New. At boarding prep school

626 replies

Willsoonbesummer · 30/01/2016 12:43

My 8 year old has just started full boarding at prep school.The feed back has been so negative so far from the school.He is not organised enough etc.Now we feel we have made a mistake and not sure what to do.Any advise from mums who have been through this type of school would be very much appreaciated.

OP posts:
temporaryusername · 05/02/2016 13:07

My impression of boarding is that substance abuse is more likely, both now and in the recent past. Many of the benefits listed above I experienced at a day school, pretty much all in fact. Without the downsides, but heigh ho.

NickiFury · 05/02/2016 13:11

But you have no clue whatsoever what any of our children have achieved. Such a claim is nonsensical.

peteneras · 05/02/2016 13:12

"GruntledOne, the assertion made was that NO child could love school. That is the nonsense and sounds to me to one from someone bitter about their own education."

Absolutely! LogicalTest.

Just because one goes to crap schools and hates schooling, everyone else got to be the same. How ridiculous!

LogicalTest · 05/02/2016 13:19

temporaryusername I went to boarding school and saw no drugs, neither, to my knowledge did any of my siblings. My children haven't seen much in that respect either-a but if contraband booze and the odd fag here and there but hardly the crack cocaine that seems to be implied? I'm not saying they're not about but it seems odd to say your impression is they're more prevalent in boarding school-doesn't seem to be based on anything other than, well, nothing really?

peteneras · 05/02/2016 13:21

On the basis of the quality of achievements my DC have already gained and reading from forums like this one, yes, I do have a clue. But please note before I get flammed, I am NOT saying everybody elses DC have a less than adequate education; certainly I wasn't referring to yours Nicki, so relax . . . Grin

NickiFury · 05/02/2016 13:25

You said that your child's education was better than all of ours put together despite not knowing any of us or what our children have achieved. Do you really not see how ridiculous that sounds. You just can't be taken seriously Pete.

BertrandRussell · 05/02/2016 13:31

"
And I have absolutely no need to worry whether my child is receiving an adequate education or not as I’m pretty convinced the adequacy of my DC’s education is more than the aggregate of all your DC’s"

What a gloriously batty statement! Grin

peteneras · 05/02/2016 13:32

For the love of Christ MumsNet, that's not what I said. Please go back and re-read my posts properly; not only just the last one but perhaps a page or two back.

Oh, please, please do not take me too seriously! Grin

NickiFury · 05/02/2016 13:42

Oh don't worry about anyone taking you seriously, at all! Smile

peteneras · 05/02/2016 13:49

That's good to hear, Nicki. You wrote, "You just can't be taken seriously Pete" and I was worried you might have done so. Smile

NickiFury · 05/02/2016 14:11

Why would you think that? When I have explicitly stated that I can't Confused

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 14:11

GruntledOne, the assertion made was that NO child could love school. That is the nonsense and sounds to me to one from someone bitter about their own education. I teach and I have four children and I'm afraid the ones who love school(even lessons they don't enjoy in terms of content are still enjoyable socially-school education is about far more than academia) far, far outweigh the ones who don't.

I'm sorry, LogicalTest, but you are still deluded if you think that every teacher is wonderful and that even when a child is doing a subject they don't find interesting they are loving the social experience. I, for instance, always disliked Geography, even though we had a good Geography teacher, whilst I enjoyed other lessons. There was no social experience to be gained from sitting through a Geography lesson with the same classmates that sat through every other lesson with me, and I didn't feel that I was missing out socially in any way when I was able to give it up. I notice that you ignored the other aspects of boarding school life that I mentioned that are less than lovable.

On reflection, it is interesting that you are Peteneras seem incapable of accepting that there is any middle ground so that in your view someone who doesn't love school must find it an awful experience, and vice versa. It may well explain why so many people claim that their children love school - the reality would appear to be that they just don't actually hate it.

NickiFury · 05/02/2016 14:12

Personally I think that you make these foolish statements and then try to back track by pretending you're joking. But that's just my opinion.

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 14:18

It’s quite obvious you have issues with your abstract thought process and comprehension, GruntledOne, that I thought by breaking down into sections what I wrote might help?

Dear me, patronising as well. But then, I'm not the one who left a vital word out of a post such that it meant something really rather offensive.

Just because one goes to crap schools and hates schooling, everyone else got to be the same. How ridiculous!

Now, that really is a logic fail. Nothing in my post indicated that I was talking about my school alone (I wasn't); or that the school I went to was crap (it wasn't, it was really rather good); or that I hated it (I didn't; I just didn't love it).

Themodernuriahheep · 05/02/2016 14:18

Pete, no, wasn't offended , knew what you meant, but the syntax/juxtaposition was a bit Prescottian, iyswim. So laughed.

LogicalTest · 05/02/2016 14:36

gruntledone
I didn't ignore, I just didn't comment. I am not deluded in the slightest, just not bitter or negative. I have never said every teacher is wonderful etc etc but you stated that no child loved school. That's what you said. That is not correct. I haven't said every child loves it, simply that it is not the case that no child does. The implication (which you will no doubt deny but is clear imo) that I don't know whether or not my children love school as I am so deluded is also incorrect. If you read my post you will note that I have four children and only three love school-if I didn't notice their feelings, I would have drawn pretty rainbows about how he felt about school; in fact I believe I actually says exactly what you just did-he doesn't hate it he would just rather be playing football.

As for boarding school, I'm not going to trawl back through the thread to find out if you have any experience of it whatsoever but it sounds to me as though you are talking about something that you have not experienced and do not have children who have experienced it either. In this case, it is hard to form a rounded opinion as you can only talk of other, removed opinions or your own assumptions. There are pros and cons to every type of education-and I've taught in most of them-but it is a parent/child decision to be made. Whatever that choice is, a positive attitude towards education and the chosen establishment from the parent is vital. I am, unapologetically, one of life's optimists and it tends to be contagious.

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 14:49

Yet again, "LogicalTest*, your deductions about my education are 100% wrong.

LogicalTest · 05/02/2016 15:11

Of course they are.

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 15:24

And of course you would make a passive aggressive "Of course they are" post, LogicalTest, since you are unable to find reasoned or evidenced arguments. It doesn't change the fact that I did indeed go to a good boarding school, I didn't hate it, I didn't love it.

LogicalTest · 05/02/2016 15:41

Ha ha you are funny.

The thing I took issue with was simply that you said no child loves school. That is what you said. No child. Not most children or some children you said no child. You level accusations of passive aggression rather a lot yet make side swipes at others insinuating all sorts of things and also name calling (perhaps another hangover from school?) I reasoned very well why your assertion that no child loves school is completely false; whether or not you went to boarding school isn't really my concern it is he sweeping generalisations you are willing to make about others.

roundaboutthetown · 05/02/2016 15:55

What counts as love?
Assuming GruntledOne was unlikely to have direct experience of boarding school was a teensy bit of an own goal. Grin

temporaryusername · 05/02/2016 16:05

My impression re the drugs is anecdotal to some extent, which is why I called it an impression. I went to college with many ex boarders and there was a consensus, perhaps mistaken but based on the experiences of many people,that amongst the well known public schools there was less of a drink problem but more chance of a drug problem, in comparison to the average state or private day school. I also have younger relatives boarding or just left now who have reported some shocking incidents, in fact I hate to admit that one of them was asked to leave due to involvement. The problem was well established and widespread. I really don't claim to have carried out a study, but I was surprised to hear boarding school presented as a place where a drug issue is less likely. I have formed a different impression, maybe inaccurate.

temporaryusername · 05/02/2016 16:09

I am not up to date on this thread, but my initial interpretation was that the issue wasn't really about boarding school being good or bad. It was about this individual case which sounded quite extreme and also seemed a unnecessary situation. Hopefully things have stabilised one way or another for the OP's family.

PosieReturningParker · 05/02/2016 16:17

logical did you board?!

As if you did that's another good reason to avoid them like the plague. Your arrogance is quite out of place.

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 16:29

Name calling? Where, Logical?

It's probably a little silly to claim that you only took issue with one thing, when we can all see that you took issue with, amongst other matters, whether I had any personal experience of boarding schools.

Show me a evidence of children who genuinely love school, as opposed to saying it to please their parents, and I'll happily amend my comment to say that very few children love school. I would classify loving school as looking forward to going each term, enjoying everything about it, and being reluctant to come away at the end of term. The simple fact is that I've never known a child (and I have very extensive experience) who was itching to get back to school at the beginning of term, and who didn't look forward eagerly to the school holidays, and that includes children with loads of friends who find both schoolwork and games easy and who participate in everything the school has to offer.

Most children who say they like boarding school are saying that they like the friends they have there and the facilities and activities that are on offer. They don't suggest they would enjoy it any less if it was a day school.