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Original poster

Help Please? Anyone's D got into Haberdashers or NLCS at 4+?

448 replies

funkychic · 11/12/2006 15:42

My D is will be going for the 4+ 'play group' asesssment at Habs and NLCS. I'm desparate to know what they ask them to do. Really need advise from all mums whose child are already in these schools. Pleeeeeeaaaassse help!!!

OP posts:
horseshoe · 19/12/2007 10:01

Poor You!!!!!

Everyone here should be feeling sorry for your poor deluded points of view.

Whilst it is wonderful to keep your children in a perfect educational bubble.....what damage are you doing to them for when they finally exit into the real world. In this day and age it is not right to instill such predujice into children which is what you are implicitly doing by making them go to a school with "perfect" children.

Does anyone smell a "HITLER" in here????

My daughter is in fact very bright.....probably because I spend time at home with her, helping her with her educational needs. If me and DH were out working our backsides off to afford private school and dragging the kids to one club after another....maybe we wouldn't have time for all of that. Education starts at home and that includes manners and compassion. For what you have posted it seems you have none yourself!!!!

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 19/12/2007 10:37

By excluding your children from "the real world" you are failing to teach them the most valuable lesson in life.

They might be intelligent, do very well at school, and get their PHD/Masters/whatever.

However, once they leave that very cushioned environment, and they have to go to interviews, you know, for jobs, they'll not likely do very well. I've seen it happen. It's not pretty.

Social skills - including the aformentioned humility, altruism, and adapting to your environment are key for progression in life.

Judy1234 · 19/12/2007 11:40

There is no doubt that the comprehensive educational system has wholly failed in the UK. Even if you stream it does not bring the best out in children to have to spend play time with rough stupid children who aren't of their ilk. Grammar schools worked and were a route out of poverty for many which is now removed and despite the best efforts of many teachers in the state system and university entrance tutors the 6% of children at private schools still get nearly 50% of the university places that are worth having at the best universities because the segregation by IQ works so well.

My 5 childen have met lots of people from all sorts of backgrounds and indeed at the academic private schools those schools aren't posh in any sense of the word, plenty of the daughters of the local newsagents and other there etc and none of us live in a bubble we have friends out of school etc. So I think they have gained hugely from how they were educated. The social skills of children at private schools are much much better than state school children. They can talk to anyone and are articulate and confident. It's one of the reasons you pay fees.

AwayInAMunker · 19/12/2007 11:42

"The social skills of children at private schools are much much better than state school children."

Massive generalisation.

Huge.

And incorrect.

AwayInAMunker · 19/12/2007 11:42

Many can talk at anyone. That's true.

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 11:45

Even if you stream it does not bring the best out in children to have to spend play time with rough stupid children who aren't of their ilk.

This is such an offensive comment! And certainly says far more about you than about those state school children IMO!

Judy1234 · 19/12/2007 11:45

There are loads of different issues on this thread. The advanatage of these types of fairly inclusive very academic private schools (which are not posh) is that most children and their parents are committed to education and there is tough competition to get in academically and everyone is clever. That is probably the main thing I paid for. So I pay for the segregation from those with a lower IQ as well as liking all girls schools and a bunch of other things too. I wanted them at schools in the top 10 - 20 in the country for A level results.

On the issue of special needs my daughter was at Habs and she has dyslexia. She is getting time today in her law exams as I type this, for that. She has done amazingly well given that dyslexia (although it's not severe like some children have). But that's not really central to the thread.

Whether parents want disruptive children in the class is very very important. I was married to a teacher for 19 years. We all know how one naughty child can ruin lessons for everyone else on a regular basis. It happens in all schools and you want a school that does not allow that to happen.

AwayInAMunker · 19/12/2007 11:58

I don't think there are many parents who actively WANT disruptive children in classes, Xenia.

LIZS · 19/12/2007 12:07

"The advanatage of these types of fairly inclusive very academic private schools (which are not posh) is that most children and their parents are committed to education and there is tough competition to get in academically and everyone is clever. That is probably the main thing I paid for"

But that obviously does not automatically exclude those with SN such as your dd with dyslexia. Are you happy that Belladonna is assuming that her presence in the same classroom/playground would necessarily compromise her dc's education and deliberately ear marking schools she believes do not admit such children ? Academic, commitment and competition are not exclusively associated with such schools be they private or state.

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 19/12/2007 12:18

I know someone who was refused a place at Cambridge because of his lack of social skills. They didnt think he'd fit in.

He came out in the top 2% at his private boys school in North London. His 'lesser' achieving classmates got in.

Shocking.

ExDhsNutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 19/12/2007 12:19

I don't necessarily agree with everything she's saying but at least Xenia is honest - I bet there are a lot of other parents out there who think pretty much the same but won't admit it....

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 19/12/2007 12:29

Why is it they wont admit it?

If they feel it's an appropriate opinion, then they'll have no qualms saying it, surely?

The reason is because it is divisive, ignorant and a whole load of other negative words that I cant be arsed to list.

hercules1 · 19/12/2007 12:34

Interested to hear Xenia how you feel about Belladonna's comments about dsylexia.
I have no problem with people paying to go privately. I had ds's name down for private but we are fortunate to live in catchment areas for excellent state schools. We do pay though house price wise for this.

I am guessing that actually Belladonna isn't real. I can't honestly believe that a sane person would hold her views. I do repeat though what I said earlier and hope for her sake that she doesn't find one day that her own children don't have a special need of some sort. She is clearly wholly ignorant on what special needs are and how this does/does not relate to behaviour.

ExDhsNutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 19/12/2007 12:34

I suppose what I mean is that she is at least honest about how SHE feels - and I can bet a few other people do share those views but know they aren't 'fair' ones so they don't come out with it.

I'm not defending the views themselves just saying that at least she's honest.

hercules1 · 19/12/2007 12:36

The most intelligent child at my last school (IQ wise) was actually the most disruptive and ill mannered child there. He would often disrupt lessons for those less able or with SEN.

hercules1 · 19/12/2007 12:37

I'm not sure that her being honest about having such views is something to be commended considering her views are so diabolical. Yes, she's honest, but I really couldn't find it in my heart to congratulate her for that as doing so would seem to condone her views iyswim.

horseshoe · 19/12/2007 12:38

Xenia,

I have always taught my children DD1 in particular because she is older..to be a leader not a follower. I teach the manners. She knows her P's and Q's, She eats with her mouth closed, at the table, and always closes her knife and frk to indicate when she is finished.

I myself was schooled in the wrong part of London yet as a career, I have dined in some of the best private clubs in London with some of the top businessmen and women and never felt out of depth, probably because my parents taught me that way. In fact I excelled in my chosen career above many "educated" types.It was even a common joke that many of these business people disliked "poncy graduate types" as they thought they knew all of the answers without having the questions therefore failing to see the point on many issues.

Forgive me if I have taken offence to your post and your choice of school for your reasons should be respected. However, you have NO RIGHT using snobbery to suggest that my child will be less respected in this world simply because they are schooled in state education and the other posters suggestion that this could be down to SN is just being disrespectful. You should both be ashamed of your small mindedness

hercules1 · 19/12/2007 12:39

Let's not forget though that not everyone who sends their children privately have the same views, as hulababy said. I am objecting to the ignorant views!

hercules1 · 19/12/2007 12:41

Although don't know why I am bothering. If you get to be an adult with such a warped view of the world then I doubt reading peoples' objection will change your mind. I think it takes your own child having a sen to force you to change your prejudices.

horseshoe · 19/12/2007 12:46

Yes I agree H1. My daughter has a physical disability and I am always shocked that it is ALWAYS other mums who make the nastiest of comments!!

spokette · 19/12/2007 12:46

The BNP leader is honest. Should we commend him too for his veracity ExDhsNutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire?

horseshoe · 19/12/2007 12:47

But me being of the "COMMON" folk. I just "bosh em with me knuckleduster" and then calm down with a joint or two

horseshoe · 19/12/2007 12:48

I bought it from that rich Prince Harry

spokette · 19/12/2007 12:52

From Xenia "There is no doubt that the comprehensive educational system has wholly failed in the UK. Even if you stream it does not bring the best out in children to have to spend play time with rough stupid children who aren't of their ilk."

Xenia, if your children have your abhorrent and repellent views, I sincerely hope that they do not end up managing people because of the way they will treat the rough stupid state educated plebs like me.

horseshoe · 19/12/2007 13:13

Xenia...its the way of the world now.(IMV bad parenting) Why I dont know but when I was at school we had one teacher and NO disruptive children.

And lets face it all children can be ....ahem...handfuls at times.
The only difference between the two educational systems is.. private will simply not tolerate children who are disruptive and so it is left to the state system to take these children. I still do not think this should have any negative effect on children who simply want to get on. You can never blame other people for your own failings.

Your choices are not disputable but you have delivered your responses in a Manner which appears to all state educated children and schools and that is simply not a fair generalisation.

As for BellaDonna79s comments they are purely out of order.