Thread For Boarders

[morethanpotatoprints]

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

I might have already said this but if you're buying a suit my advise having just looked at last years, buy one with wool in it just hangs better, buy two if you're child has nearly finished growing, they'll both last longer and thirdly buy two pairs of trousers. One suit only had one pair of trousers but despite having another suit so it's not worn every day the trousers are simple worn our and therefor the jacket which cost a lot more that a second pair of trousers if now useless although in near spotless condition.

Here's a question not specific to boarders but obviously important.

Have recently found out from a teacher at the school who is a friend of dh that self harm was prevalent until recently.
Can anybody recommend how to tell dd about it without frightening her or not giving her the right info?
I'm sure they address this at school but if it was prevalent before I'm worried their message wasn't getting through.

Just tell her the facts, you can't dress it up or dress it down, some teenagers self harm e.g. cut themselves because they're very unhappy. A friends DD started doing it, initially she was absoltely stunned, she works with children and sees it a lot of unhappy children and it never crossed her mind that her own DD would do it.
As parents we would hope our children will talk to us if they're worried/unhappy but of course they don't always because they're trying to find their own way, or they don't want to worry us, or they think we've got enough problems or sadness in our lives and therefore can't don't need any more problems/sadness.
Most boarding schools provide counsellors for free, hopefully HMs, matrons, tutors. school nurse etc will also listen and support children, many schools also have named peer listeners. Things have changed a lot in boarding schools gone is the stiff upper lip, have a quick run round round the rugby pitch in next to nothing and have a cold shower ethos, high standards of pastoral care is for most as important as results.

here is good info. Good old NHS!

please can people list 5 things to put in 13yr old ds's tuck box?

Self harm and tuck boxes - what a tightrope the new year 9 boarder walks.

We won't have the pleasure of seeing ours being filled as it goes straight to the school - but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it becomes a locked repository for all the things they're not supposed to have - which I won't list as some of us may be beginning to feel a little wobbly as September approaches. (Where's the [Grand Theft Auto] emoticon when I need it?)

Microwave popcorn, kitkats, individually wrapped pain au chocolate, chocolate spread (not nutella!) Rice cakes

Where do name tapes go? No specific direction from school.

Shirts? Collar or on inside seam label?

Jacket? Collar or label on inside pocket?

Duvet covers/pillow cases?

And what about her underwear? Sharpie on each label or just sew a name tape on the laundry net?

And how do you name fluffy slippers? Though to be honest she will only be in a room of 3 and they are an 'unusual' design..

Oo, last thing (for now), jacket is tweed, what's the best way to shorten sleeves? I'm guessing I don't want to iron the fold or it will never come out when her arms eventually grow.

OK, while you lot work on that, I'm off to Rymans in the rain for mechanical pencils and those coloured fineliners for mind maps.

Shirts: just below collar line, jackets: inside pocket, duvet covers: near opening, ditto pillow cases, no label in underpants/socks but laundry net name written in permanent marker. I don't label shoes, slippers (not worn any more), flip flops wellies etc, anymore despite being in large dorms up until yr 12 most know their own shoes.
I used to be a reasonable dress maker, for a quality job sleeves in a jacket would have to be shortened by someone who really knows what their doing it's not easy and could be fairly costly. Im not sure how old you're DD is but if she's still growing I wouldn't bother, especially if it's only "Sunday best".

Thanks HG I will look at that. We are having a chat today when we go through the book they gave us to discuss over the holidays, dd has only just found it in the abyss that is her bedroom.

Gruach

My dd is only going into y7, it's sad that we have to discuss these things at such a young age these days. With so few children of one particular age they all seem to be mixed until y9. I think there's only about 12 or so between y7 and 8. There are fewer than 300 in the whole school.

Tuck box ideas gratefully received and would also add a large packet of fruit sweets to share with friends. I included starburst for the sunday night.

Oh, for goodness sake it's only 11 days to go. She is unusually cuddly atm, not normally like this. The poor thing must be getting a bit nervous.
Must go, cuddle time again.

Ah, yes - had forgotten your DD is younger OP. 'Tis a bit sad that you have to have that conversation.

I would say name tags on collar for blazer, it's just easier to see. Sharpie on pants label for when the net bag opens hasn't been done up properly in the washing machine. Several net bags will be useful they don't wash or dry properly when a weeks worth of underwear is washed on one day

I am spending my BH weekend labelling again. The school shop is doing most of it (for a price).

Tuck box keys have disappeared

Ordered iron on name tapes for all the socks (x 2 DC!) and they haven't come so have spent all evening sewing!! Grrrrrr! 2 days to go and little one has had a wobble tonight! (Always does!) ????????????

I thought I'd finally finished labelling and found a uniform shirt in her wardrobe, also bought knee length socks that will need doing.

I hadn't considered that experienced boarders would have the wobbles. I guess some in day schools do at the start of a new year though.

My dd says she isn't nervous but she must be, and she is coming for a cuddle every half hour atm which isn't like her at all. We are usually lucky if we get one at bedtime.

NewLife I think the thing is to make sure she understands that being nervous before anything new and unknown is perfectly normal. She wouldn't be human if she never felt any apprehension. Do you have some plans for what she will be doing the next time she comes home? Ie just to reinforce that home isn't going to disappear whilst she is not there. I think I said this before but I do think it can help.

Thanks Darkling

I think w will go to cinema or bowling. She's not a shopper so I intend to buy anything she needs during the week.
on some occasions she would like her friend to come back with her for the weekend. Same school but 6th former.

I think she sees nervousness as a weakness, mainly due to some of her peers who were very nervous before performing.
We have always told her that a bit of nerves are a good thing, but she won't have it.

Hello,

Someone ay have suggested a way already but I can't see it on my quick reading of this post. How do you successfully label shoes?

I've never had a shoe label that has stayed on........

Looking forward to a failsafe way.

thx

If lining is relatively light I just write number inside with a sharpie. If not, I have had reasonable success with supergluing a name tape!

I have only used a sharpie on her converse and pump type of shoes/slippers.
School shoes just seemed impossible.
You could try some sticky labels and send some with them, so they can replace as need be.
I'm stuck on this one too.

Well I'm finished with most of the labeling now thank goodness. Things are getting closer now and the nerves are starting to kick in (for me not DS who is just getting more and more excited)

We have a 5 hour drive next week to school so will be breaking it up with a stopover midway (looking for an area to move closer to the school as we feel 5 hours is a little too far for 5 years)

I am panicking in case I have forgotten something obvious. Already forgotten dentist checkup - so that will have to be organised for first leave DS will have at home.

I have just last minute toiletries to buy (toothbrush, shampoo etc) and blister plasters (at the recommendation of someone on here).
Then I should be done.

One thing I did buy was a personalized poster with all of our photos on a kind of collage. I've told him he doesn't have to put it on his board if he is embarrassed but he can keep it at the back of his wardrobe - but he was actually thrilled with it along with his gaming posters he has purchased.

For shoes I found that Easy2names sticky labels worked very well. You get that labels with the name and a clear 'over label' to keep it place and stop it wearing down.

Adventurers

I too am anxious, worrying what next week will bring for all of us. We have a decorating project on straight away as we are moving dd into a smaller bedroom and her brother will move into her much bigger bedroom, so this should help.

However, I am still worried as to if it will all of a sudden hit her and at what point.
I can tell she is a bit apprehensive as I said above, you can tell can't you.
I know this is to be expected but once she starts is the time I'm worried about.
It is very competitive, stressful for many and a few really struggle and can't cope.
We looked at dds personality and obviously believed she was right for the school but all the talks from school we had about what would be normal worries dd doesn't seem to have.
I can't ask on the parents forum as it isn't anonymous and don't want to come across as boasting my dd is fine. Secretly I'm worried.

NewLife4Me

We too have a decorating project once we come home after the "drop off". We have finished decorating all of the bedrooms now but have the downstairs to do to be able to put the house on the market - so I think this will distract us a little.
Moving North to South means we may be able to buy a shoebox with our budget eek!!

At this point we have to trust that we have made the right choices for our DC - and remember that nothing is permanently set for 5 years if it turns out that it really doesn't suit. Although I'm sure it will all be fine and DS will thrive.

Adventurers

We too are hoping to move but staying in the same area, maybe slightly closer to school but we are near enough really.
For us it is down sizing ds1 has left home now and ds2 is 20 so only a few years to go.
My new nn is my intention now dd will be boarding.
We hope to buy a detached bungalow convert the garage for dh and dds music, buy a camper van or caravan and get away a bit more.