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Original poster

Thread For Boarders

826 replies

morethanpotatoprints · 01/06/2015 11:33

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason. Grin

OP posts:
happygardening · 07/08/2015 20:55

Not too hot boarding houses IME are very well heated I think DS's is a 7.5 or something similar.

NewLife4Me · 07/08/2015 21:33

Ah, thank you. We have plenty of these so something else I won't have to buy. Grin

Have just shouted at her as sometimes it's like having a six year old.
I'm sorting clothes and came across a duvet cover and brand new T shirt covered in yellow sticky dried on slime.
Heaven knows if it will come off, it's the remains of a gooey alien, that I specifically told her not to buy anymore. Arghhhh!

I suppose I should be grateful she isn't into makeup and boys yet like her friends. But at 11 you'd think she'd be beyond goo and slime.

derektheladyhamster · 08/08/2015 11:21

And yet my son's boarding house is quite cold (no double glazing due to listed status). But he's now too hot when he comes home, has a summer duvet all yr round and sleeps with the window open most of the year. In contrast, the boarding house I work in has individual thermostats in each room. First stage in compromising comes when 1 person likes it hot at night when the other 2 don't!

I've never bothered with tuck boxes, they have a lockable cupboard in their room, which I'm pretty sure is a minimum boarding standard, and depending on the size of the room they do take up floor space/desk space

NewLife4Me · 08/08/2015 13:30

derek

So glad you're still around.
Our school have advised to take little as they only have a single wardrobe, bedside cupboard, and a box under bed.

Are they generally strict with the bottom of the wardrobe or do you think we may get away with some small drawers/ you know those fabric type?
I suppose we could always take them and bring them back, but don't want to be "one of those parents".

I generally go by the book and do as I'm told, but so many times I see others that don't, and manage to get away with things, so a difficult call.

derektheladyhamster · 08/08/2015 13:40

Many of the girls use those hanging shelves for storage, but I think you should take the minimum when you go, your dd can always take more later if she needs to. If your dd is meticulously tidy, then it won't be so much of a problem, but it's usually easier to keep your space tidy if you don't have too much stuff.

JenniferClarissa · 08/08/2015 21:08

I spotted this thread a few days ago, and am just popping on to place mark - DC1 has just left senior school, DC2 is about to start. It is such a nice feeling to only be sewing in one set of labels Grin (although I have offered to label DC1's university gear for old time's sake). Thank you OP for starting it, such a good idea.

DC2 has spent the last few weeks asking DC1 all sorts of questions - e.g. what is for breakfast; how long it takes to make friends out of house; how long to allow to get ready in the morning. This has made me realise what a step into the unknown boarding was for DC1, who didn't have anyone to ask except DH, who was 30-odd years out of date

Adventurers71 · 10/08/2015 15:33

New to boarding this year too. So I would like to thank everyone for their input in this thread. I shall be reading while panicking that I have forgotten so many things :)

NewLife4Me · 10/08/2015 16:38

Adventurers

Labelling and tuck boxes were my main worry. I know that's very sad Grin

I am the OP on a nc, I know it's confusing. I started the thread as there seemed to be lots started that had a few replies and then it went quiet, so if all goes well we can have a running thread.
There are some very knowledgeable and experienced parents and staff who help so much.
Thank you all for your help, support and making this a lovely thread.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 19/08/2015 21:49

May I ask you all a question please?

How did you all know that boarding would suit your DC? Was it entirely led by them or a family tradition or just that that was the best school for them?

My eldest DS is nearly 8 and has just done a holiday course at a boarding school - he's been blown away by it and thinks that it's the most amazing concept ever and is determined that this is what he wants to do!

My immediate respond was to say 'yes dear, of course', but actually it got me wondering this evening. I'd have no issue with it if he was serious about it still in a few years, and we are right in the triangle between Oundle, Uppingham and Oakham so no lack of them.

Money, obviously a major consideration - academically he's flying - socially he gets on with everyone but is a real homebody (he's 7!) which is why his idealisation of boarding school surprised me!

Just your experiences and tips would be appreciated.

IndridCold · 19/08/2015 22:11

Have a look at this thread.

In almost all cases the situation has evolved gradually, and the final decision of whether to board or not is governed entirely by the DC concerned and how their needs can best be met with the resources available. For the right children boarding works wonderfully well!

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 20/08/2015 11:14

Thanks Indrid, that's really useful.

NewLife4Me · 22/08/2015 15:58

TheWild

It's a bit different in our case as dd gained a place in a sort of elite ss specialist school. I think that's how you'd describe it.
Nobody in our family has ever been to a private or boarding school, so completely new to us.
DD begged us to let her try for the school and at the open day very loudly stated I should get my cheque book out as she was going to this school. Grin
Long story short she is going and very excited atm.
I think from what I gather from here, which is my only experience so far is that it is a mixture of parents who went themselves as in family tradition, parents who want better than they themselves had, those from overseas. I'm sure others could add their own.
We aren't 100% sure it will work out fine but obviously believe it will suit her personality, and of course it being her dream helps a lot.

Gruach · 22/08/2015 20:37

I'd have no issue with it if he was serious about it still in a few years, and we are right in the triangle between Oundle, Uppingham and Oakham so no lack of them.

Don't wait - start investigating possible schools now. It sounds as if you're thinking primarily about senior schools - but what if you find that the most suitable ones might be difficult to progress to from his current school? Perhaps you may find that a different day school would be a better bet right now -or even that he really needs a particular boarding prep in a couple of years?

Whatever the eventual outcome it will all seem less daunting if you give yourself plenty of time to look, talk, weigh up different bits of information, change your mind and change it back ...

I'd say a boy who desperately wants to board is exactly the sort of child who should!

summerends · 23/08/2015 10:21

parents who want better than they themselves
NewLifeforme I don't think parents specifically choose boarding for that reason if the right schools are available as day. It is usually more about accessing school opportunities for a DC that are not available locally or accessing the seamless package of evening / weekend activities, academics and sociable lifestyle and general 'buzz' that are part of good boarding.
IME DCs are usually the ones pushing for the latter if they have had glimpses into what boarding life entails. Parents may be more swayed by the former.

IndridCold · 23/08/2015 10:37

This boy, for example, set his heart on Eton after seeing the CBBC programme about the school, and was the driving force behind the whole thing.

Gruach · 23/08/2015 11:27

And, IIRC, at least one of the boys in the programme also decided for himself that he wanted to go - and presented his argument to his bemused parents.

As regards:

parents who went themselves as in family tradition, parents who want better than they themselves had, those from overseas ...

You could add:

Parents with an only child who is, for one reason or another, desperately lacking in scope at home.

Ill or incapacitated parent(s) who simply can't manage the running around and taxi service for an energetic and intelligent child.

Parents whose brilliant child would, locally, be stereotyped into steel drums and street dance (and nothing else) when they really want the clarinet and classical ballet.

Anxious parents who are still arranging play dates for their 12year old ...

Parents who, despite having boarded themselves, could never have considered it, were it not for the fact that their own expensive education gave them the confidence to seek out scholarships and bursaries to make boarding possible for a child who clearly wanted it.

Etc ...

summerends · 23/08/2015 12:30

Indrid as an aside I think the importance given to his talent for rap highlights the difference between state school selection by eleven plus and the good independent schools that by interview can seek out and value variety in potential strengths.

1805 · 23/08/2015 12:55

Just a quick question please,
Do I label socks and pants?
He has a sock bag for laundry so do I need to label as well?
Do schools wash the actual duvets too?

derektheladyhamster · 23/08/2015 13:00

Label the sock bag for sure. I would label pants, even if it's just sharpie in the care label. Quite often the bags will open in the washer/dryer and then it is quite hard to match pants/socks with owner.

My ds has top have labels and sock ties sewn in, as they don't use laundry bags at his school. They are the bane of my life, but we've never lost a pair!

It's unlikely the school will wash the duvet. Just the cover.

summerends · 23/08/2015 13:02

1805 I did label the first batch at senior school but not after. Sport socks are usually more likely to be lost by being taken off in different places to their rooms.
School has n't washed duvet (does wash covers of course).

NewLife4Me · 23/08/2015 13:08

Summerends

Apologies, I just thought it might be a reason the same as some parents choose private for this reason.
I think there must be multiple reasons.

1805

I think I deserve a medal Grin have so far labelled 7 pairs of socks and 14 pairs of knickers. If it doesn't move it is labelled here atm. Finally coming to the end now though.

NewLife4Me · 23/08/2015 13:10

Just saw the duvet question.
We have been told to label everything including

Duvet, 2 covers, 2 pillows 2 pillow protectors, 4 pillowcases, one mattress protector, one mattress topper.

1805 · 23/08/2015 13:18

I've only done 4 labels so far!!!!!! Better get sewing…...

summerends · 23/08/2015 13:30

NewLife no need to apologise, I was just adding my POV.

Procrastination and labelling go hand in hand for me.

NewLife4Me · 23/08/2015 20:09

Ah well, I am the undisputed queen of sewing labels it seems.
I'm sure it's only been because it's her first time and in so many ways I feel completely out of my depth. Grin This is one thing I know I can do.