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Original poster

First post: what is wrong with considering private schools?

999 replies

dietcokeisgreat · 07/10/2014 14:12

Dear all,

I just starting looking at mumsnet last week and joined today. Some of my work colleagues talk about it and i am thinking about options for education for my son, who is just 3 and thought i would take a look. Well, i just starting the thinking, so it is early days.
We could pay for school, or maybe not, we don't know yet. He is our first child, we are having problems getting pregnant again, so unsure if there will be more yet.

I was surprised at some really negative comments on lots of threads towards people posting for advice/ whatever about private schools. Why are they doing that? What is wrong with people thinking about different options? Or asking about a school they know that is private? Twice i read something 'well i can't pay for school' as a response. For me, its no different to whether or not people have cash for other stuff. I can't afford to live in the smarter part of town, or pay for a boarding school but that doesn't mean no one should be allowed too!

Just wondering...don't want to post something that will enrage others or be and be upset by responses ....

Thank you.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 10/10/2014 18:17

Is there a lot of tutoring at Secondary level? Or are people assuming there must be because otherwise how could state school children get good results Grin

Certainly there aren't many cards in windows round our way- there are loads for primary, though.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 18:22

Kids in our area aren't tutored its practically unheard of as we have no ss or grammar.
I think it shows in the results of league tables for state schools.
Have just been looking for different reasons but found that all the best results were state schools in affluent areas or predominantly south.
I'm not 100% sure as also looked at independent but I'm pretty sure there was a Birmingham state school that did well.

capsium · 10/10/2014 18:28

State schools aren't great and crap, generally. It's 98% to do with intake. Rich intake = successful school. Impoverished intake = 'crap' school.

If this is true then the government really needs to work on making the poor richer, instead of putting more money into schools. Since the implication is that the school does not make a jot of difference...

Chandon · 10/10/2014 18:39

Capsium, it is not about money-money though, is it?

It is a class thing. And not poor vs rich, but the classes who value education vs those who don't.

It us about reading to and with your kid, going to libraries, limiting time on computer games, feeding them a healthy diet, making sure they sleep enough, being involved in their education, turning up at parent evening, making sure they do their homework....the list goes on.

If a parent is not interested and involved in their kids' education, throwing money at them is not the answer.

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 18:52

NancyJones - what has where you work got to do with your social circle? I fail to see how teaching in a school your children don't attend tells you who attends a school you neither teach in nor send your children to, yet you tell us that your most local schools only have children in them whose families can afford horse riding as a hobby, and trips to the Gambia.

capsium · 10/10/2014 18:52

I know Chandon, my last comment was supposed to challenge.

However if schools want to tackle this particular problem of parents not being able to support their children educationally perhaps they need to tailor the teaching so less parental support is required.

I would suggest less 'enrichment' activities at school (fancy dress days, film afternoons, trips and visits) and more actual teaching. Sometimes it seems as if the school and family have reversed roles. Holidays, films and visits at school, timetables and learning to read at home. Design and make a maths game at home and play it at school etc etc. Make instruments and costumes at home, for a celebration in school. Topsy turvy. I want to do the fun stuff, as a parent, not be bombarded and overloaded at times with (teaching in some cases) all the hard academics which I am not fully trained or paid to do.

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 18:54

If you think you can make such sweeping generalisations and be even close to the mark anywhere in the country other than the small bit of Cheshire in which you live, I think you are wrong.

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 18:55

Sorry, cross post - that wasn't addressed to capsium!

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 18:57

capsium - what a depressing world, where your parents never do anything fun with you at home and school never does anything fun with you, either!

capsium · 10/10/2014 19:02

rabbit not what I am talking about. Teaching within schools should be the first priority though. If parents cannot be consistently relied upon to support children well why are schools relying on parents to do more and more homework with them? No homework at primary would reduce inequality IMO because it would mean schools would actively have to teach all of the curriculum well enough for consolidation.

capsium · 10/10/2014 19:06

Because the academic subjects still have to be learnt. More pure 'enrichment' activities at school, by which I mean ones where there is no academic work to follow up means more of the academic work has to be done at home as homework to cover the curriculum.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 19:07

If a parent is not interested and involved in their kids' education, throwing money at them is not the answer

Do you mean its a waste of time giving the schools extra money?
Or do you mean wrt the endless enrichment many schools provide.

If the former I totally disagree, if the latter I agree to a point.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 19:08

x post there, sorry.

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 19:09

Plenty of primary schools don't give out homework. Plenty of others don't make it compulsory.

rabbitstew · 10/10/2014 19:11

What is a pure "enrichment" activity, btw? That just sounds like a poorly planned lesson to me.

capsium · 10/10/2014 19:12

You said it rabbit.

MustChooseASecondary · 10/10/2014 19:12

I want to do the fun stuff, as a parent, not be bombarded and overloaded at times with (teaching in some cases) all the hard academics which I am not fully trained or paid to do.

Amen.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 19:13

From my little knowledge (my own dc schooling) primary didn't seem to be a problem. Most parents even in the deprived areas supported their dc learning. I found the gap was far bigger and noticeable at secondary both as a teacher and parent, but admittedly only our area.
The thing is if enrichment was cut or cut back much then the children who don't receive any cultural enrichment at home are even more at a disadvantage.
I do agree though it should be followed up with school work.
It always astounded me that after the LA came into schools with their peri music staff doing various displays that nothing materialised from this. I'm sure the take up for lessons would have been far greater had the dc done a project on a chosen instrument or the orchestra in general.

MustChooseASecondary · 10/10/2014 19:14

What is a pure "enrichment" activity, btw? That just sounds like a poorly planned lesson to me.

And this is exactly one of my biggest moans.

capsium · 10/10/2014 19:16

more

The thing is if enrichment was cut or cut back much then the children who don't receive any cultural enrichment at home are even more at a disadvantage.

Everyone has a culture though. Unfortunately it is only a MC one that seems to be valued...

skylark2 · 10/10/2014 19:18

"Is there a lot of tutoring at Secondary level?"

I don't know about "a lot", but I know several parents who decided not to go private with the intention that they'd get tutors for the DC's weaker GCSE subjects, send them off to summer schools they fancied in the sixth form, and so on (and stuck to it - their DC are now at uni). So it certainly does happen.

Several of DD's friends were also tutored on top of highly academic private school education, because apparently the world would have ended if they'd got 99% rather than 100% in a couple of GCSEs Hmm

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 19:23

capsium

Sorry, I was talking mc cultural enrichment. Only because I think too many dc are oblivious to it and have found too many elitist activities and groups. It can be hard for wc children to access some things and it is wrong to keep them the preserve of the mc.
My dc in particular dd has been very lucky to have broken out of this mould and has opportunities her friends at her past school just could not imagine.
We are low income wc with I suppose some mc values Grin
primary is good/average here but secondary is mostly dire.

skylark2 · 10/10/2014 19:26

"It always astounded me that after the LA came into schools with their peri music staff doing various displays that nothing materialised from this."

If your LA is anything like ours, the reason nothing comes of it is that they then say "and we will provide a teacher for any instrument provided that 8 children in your school want to take it up."

School had 100 children in total (including those too young for LA music lessons). Surprise surprise, there were zero instruments that they got eight takers for.

I had to go to appeal to get violin lessons for my daughter. The teacher already came to the school to teach existing students. Three kids wanted to start lessons. All three parents were prepared to pay the rate for three kids in a group. The LA's policy was that they would only start a new group if there were four kids.

capsium · 10/10/2014 19:29

more I see what you are saying, but the working classes are far from cultureless. The working classes have a rich and inspirational history, which should be valued IMO. Although I am middle class now, but grew up with (skilled) working class parents, I went to a comp and then university.

NancyJones · 10/10/2014 19:30

But it's this little bit of Cheshire which I am apparently disadvantaging by taking my children out of the state system. I certainly don't have any affect on kids further afield unless you no longer mean in a practical sense.

I have quite a good working knowledge of my local catchment primary and secondary. My older 3 attended nursery there and I have quite a few local friends whose children attend either my closest or next closest primary . I have supply teaching experience of two others and of the secondary albeit not within the last 3 yrs.