awww poppet
I don't mean this in a patronising way at all but...it sounds like you are getting really really upset, and I am sorry about that.
I do have a great deal of knowlege about Steiner schools. I went to one (for a few years, not right through) as a child. I experienced eurhythmy, which I cannot for the life of me spell. More importantly, my mother is a teacher and an anthroposophist and although I went on to a highly academic grammer school () , I did have a lot of involement in Steinery education events. I have a lot of Steiner educated friends. I have read a lot of books about it.
I don't agree with you on several points, but I think actually I am coming from a different persepective to many posters. I find it too dogmatic and too restrictive of children. I feel they are trying to give kids a kind of 1920s Germanic childhood. I don't find it very respectful.
I am not one for covering up problems though, and I do find Steiner schools exceptionally guilty of this. Find the problem and solve it, is my philosophy, don't pretend it doesn't exist.
Bullying is a massive and huge problem (among teachers as well as kids, btw), and they urgently need to tackle this, they have no real mechanism for dealing with it.
The teacher clash thing can be a huge problem. If there is no clash, OTOH, it can work exceptionally well. It is not uncommon for parents to pull kids out of Steiner schools because of teacher-child clashes.
Some schools do ban tv/computers during the week. This is because they feel that the images will interfere with the brain taking in images from lessons (bear in mind Steiner lessons are very visual/musical/sensory).
They are JUST as prescriptive about what children should do and when. Just they have a different, perhaps more generous, timescale.
Gender sterotyping is, I feel, a massive problem. Steiner had extremely old fashioned views about race and gender (unsuprising since he was writing in the 1920s). The stuff on race has been toned down, though it is still there, the stuff on gender...well no, not really.
I am coming at this from a different persepctive, really. I am homeschooling my kids. I would not want send them to a Steiner school, but then I would avoid any school really, til they're at least 7 or 8.
Having said ALL of that, if I had tto send them to school, it would probably be a Steiner school, but only because I know so much about them and feel confident about arguing with the teachers on their dogma.
I would urge anyone seriously considering Steiner education to EDUCATE themselves. Its not a fluffy alternative to the mainstream and, to be fair, they don't pretend it is. Its a hardcore system run by occultists. Which does not meant that they don't provide a good education. They are NOT trying to convert kids, not at all.
Check out OpenWaldorf and WaldorfHomeschoolers for more info (the latter has lots of info, you don't need to be HEing)